Page 84 of The Truth in My Lies (Secrets of Suburbi 1)

“Let’s take that son of a bitch down,” he said as my tears slowed.

I pulled away, wiping the rest of my tears away. “This is where you’re supposed to arrest me.”

He shook his head. “My whole job is about secrecy. You don’t think I’m capable of keeping your secrets?”

“I’m not asking you to, Ben. You’re only 23 years old. You have your whole career ahead of you. Your whole life. The last thing I want to do is jeopardize that.”

“Addy, I’m not a 23 year old lawn care specialist. I’m a 32 year old FBI agent, and I’m perfectly capable of making my own decisions. I’ve already broken the rules by getting involved with you. What’s one more?”

“You’re 32? I knew you looked older.” The more we talked, the more I thought we could work. He wasn’t some young man. He was two years older than me. He wasn’t missing out on a lifetime of happiness by choosing me. I could be his happiness.

He shrugged. “My boss thought that saying I was younger would make people more likely to confess to me. A boy-next-door vibe or something like that. In a way, I guess it kind of worked. I got you to confess.” He gave me a small smile.

I exhaled slowly. “You were never supposed to see the good in me.”

“It’s a little too late for that, Addy. You’re beautiful and smart. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. And one mistake doesn’t define you.”

“It wasn’t some mistake. I just confessed to murder. I’m guilty.”

“And no one else was listening. You’ve been to hell and back already. You’ve suffered enough, Addy.”

I let his words settle around me. He was the only other person that knew the truth besides for my husband. And he was saying he’d keep my secret.

“Unlike what you think, the world isn’t black and white. There are blurred lines. Most everything is gray.”

I didn’t agree with him. But I was relieved that he had such a naïve view of the world. And he was right about one thing. I had suffered enough.

I just needed to get through the next few days. And then maybe I’d finally wake up from the nightmare I’d been living. “I regret it,” I said. “I know it doesn’t make any difference, but I do. And you’re right. I’ve paid for sins I haven’t committed. I’ve already suffered enough.”

“I’m not going to tell anyone.”

I nodded. I never thought I’d tell another living soul about what I had done. But I also never thought I’d feel like I could trust someone. And I knew I could trust him. And I could trust him to do the exact opposite with my husband’s secrets. Because he seemed to hate him as much as I did. It was time to end this. “What else do you need to know about my husband?”

Chapter 41

I was expecting him to fire questions at me. I didn’t expect him to grab my hand and lead me out of the family room. Out the back door and into the woods.

The fear of being back here usually paralyzed me, each step becoming harder than the last. But with my hand in his, it was easy to breathe. He had taken a weight off my shoulders. And it didn’t feel like anything could put it back.

My feet crunched through the fall leaves. I actually enjoyed it. I was almost sad to leave the cover of the trees when we reached his backyard. And I had the strangest realization that I would follow this man to the end of the earth.

I followed him into this house and held my breath as he pulled out a key and opened up his basement door. “After you,” he said and gestured for me to enter.

I felt like a child in a candy shop. I practically ran down the stairs. His basement wasn’t that dissimilar from mine. But instead of files lining the walls, there were zigzags of yarn between newspaper clippings and pictures.

“This is everything I have,” Ben said.

I stared at the image of myself. My eyes were closed. It was taken from far enough away that my shoulder was showing. My sweater had been pushed down, revealing the bruising on my shoulder. I yanked the picture off the board and turned to Ben.

“When did you take this?” I asked as I stared at the image. It was strange, seeing myself so peaceful. I never felt calm when I was awake. Did I really dream at night? I could only remember nightmares.

“When you slept over.”

Maybe I was peaceful now because of Ben. I stood on my tiptoes and placed a kiss against his lips. “Thank you, Ben. For reminding me what it feels like to live again.”

His hand was soft on my lower back as he pulled me closer. “The feeling is mutual. And in a few days, when all of this is over, we can finally be

together.”

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