Page 28 of Made of Steel (Made of Steel 1)

Eli turned back around. "Yeah, so, I thought we could eat dinner here. If you still want to, I mean. And then..."

"I want to."

"Are you sure?" He pushed his mouth to the side like he had done at lunch earlier. It was the gesture that reminded me so much of Miles. It just drew me to him even more. He was probably thinking this was a bad idea. He was probably thinking he'd rather be with anyone else in the world right now instead of the awkward girl standing in front of him.

But I was trying. I didn't want to be awkward. I liked him. I really, really liked him. Embrace your adventure.

"I can walk you home if you want," he said. His hand was still stuffed in his pocket.

"No." I smiled. "Let's eat. I'm starving."

The smile returned to his face. "Okay." He glanced over his shoulder at the rocks and then back at me. "Just follow me to the top one."

Without a doubt in my mind, I knew that he had just wanted my hand so he could help me up. He was a perfect gentleman. I had to let go of this fear in my head.

I climbed up the pile of rocks behind him. When I reached the top he was unzipping his backpack.

"I remembered a blanket this time," he said as he pulled it out of his backpack and laid it down. He sat down on the very edge of the blanket.

As far away from me as possible. I sat down in the middle of it and picked up the Chinese food carton that he placed in front of me.

"I knew you weren't a vegetarian because of the burger you ate earlier. But I didn't know exactly what you'd like."

I opened up the lid and smiled. "Chicken Lo Mein is my favorite. Good guess."

He smiled.

We ate in silence for a few minutes. I didn't know what to say to fix the awkward tension. If I was going to reject him again, I shouldn't have been blatantly flirting with him. I told him he reminded me of home. No wonder he had tried to hold my hand. I needed to get a grip.

Eli cleared his throat. "So, I was actually doing some research. It's not quite dark enough yet, but I was reading that you can see the stars pretty well in Central Park. It's not as easy as it is in the middle of nowhere. But apparently it's still possible. You just have to look a little harder."

"Thank you." My voice was quiet. My favorite constellations were always the smallest and hardest to see. If you really could see the stars if you looked a little harder, that was okay. I'd be okay.

He smiled and looked back down at his food. "That's what friends are for."

God. I had completely ruined tonight. It was romantic and wonderful. And I had sabotaged it. All I wanted to do was fix it. "This is probably the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me." It was nice to be able to tell the truth. I hated lying to him. I wanted him to understand why I was so scared.

He looked back up at me. He did that thing with the corner of his mouth again. It felt like he was studying me. "How many boyfriends have you had, Sadie?"

I wasn't expecting him to ask me that. Did Miles count? Probably not. We had never given our relationship labels. But he had always counted in my mind. He was my first kiss. He was my first love, even though he had never loved me back. "Just one. What about you?"

"Three. Girlfriends though, not boyfriends."

I laughed. "I guess you were pretty popular in high school?"

"It was a really small school. What about you? Were you voted quietest or class clown?" The smile was back on his face.

"Geez, neither. I doubt many people even knew my name in order to nominate me. Quietest was probably more me though." When I was younger I had been outgoing and fun. The older I got, and the more families that sent me away, the quieter I became. In high school, it was almost like I completely lost my voice. I was terrified all the time. I didn't want anyone to see me, but at the same time I was silently screaming for help. No one noticed. The problem was that I was good at hiding. Over the years, I had become brilliant at make-believe.

"Look up," Eli said.

I followed his gaze. And I saw a star. One bright star. It wasn't completely dark yet. The sky was still more dark blue than black. But there it was. I just hadn't been looking hard enough before. I looked back at Eli. He was lying on the blanket with his hands behind his head, staring at the sky.

He was breathtakingly handsome. He was better than the star. I inched closer toward him and lay down directly beside him. I wanted to be close to him. For years I had felt like no one was listening to my silent pleas. But I felt like he heard me.

My heart was beating so fast that I was sure he could hear it. I took a deep breath and slid my hand toward his until my pinky brushed against his thumb. And then I held my breath for one second. Eli immediately shifted his hand so that his fingers wrapped around mine. It felt like fire and ice were coursing through my veins at the same time. It wasn't painful. It wasn't forced. It felt comfortable, like I had been holding his hand for years. I slowly exhaled. I didn't even have to wait five seconds. Eli instantly knew that he wanted this to be more. There was no hesitancy at all. It had been years since I had been wanted. It had been years since anyone had truly seen me.

"You're shaking," he said gently. "Are you cold?" He rolled onto his side so that he could look at me.

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