Page 28 of Silent Secrets

Hadley

Thenextmorning,I’m up much earlier than I need to be, so I head down to grab breakfast. No one else is up, allowing me to enjoy the silence. When I hear voices in the hallway, I push away my plate and scurry out. I ignore whoever calls out my name, racing to the gardens. I’m determined to not only avoid all the guys until our lessons, but I also need to calm the hell down before I talk to Grace.

I take my time walking around, soaking in the peace. What a way to spend my morning before I have to make it to my lessons once more. I’m dreading my lessons with Grace because I plan to confront her about not telling me I’m expected to marry soon.

I grind my teeth, annoyed that my mind has wandered back to this topic—all the peace of the morning now forgotten.

I know that there is no chance of being able to meet someone—or several someones—and falling in love with them in time for my wedding. It would feel too forced and unnatural, so I’ve come up with a plan. I figure I can enter my marriage as if it were a business deal, something I actually understand. I know it isn’t very romantic, but I feel like it’s the most pragmatic approach.

All I need to do is find people that I can get along with, that I can see myself being able to be around long term. An attraction to them is important, though not as important as liking someone’s personality. Physical attraction can fizzle out, but enjoying someone for who they are as a person? That’s what will ensure that I will keep them in my life. I’m sure that I will come to love, or at least care for, each of them when we’re forced into close proximity.

And honestly, I just don’t know that I have any other option. I don’t have the luxury of time for anything—neither for learning how to be queen nor for love. Life isn’t fair and I think it’s better to make the best of what you have versus bitching and moaning about things that you can’t change.

With that thought in mind, I square my shoulders and make my way to Grace’s office. I’ll be a little early, but seeing as this isn’t exactly pertaining to our lessons, it might be for the best.

I’ve almost come around to the idea of accepting Marcos, Caiden, and Kai as my consorts, but not completely. This is the reason that I’d chosen to avoid them this morning—well, that and what had happened in the library the previous night. I don’t even know if they even want to be my consorts. More conversations that I’ll need to have.

Oh, joy.

The door to Grace’s office is shut when I arrive, so I knock lightly and wait for her to call out. Pushing the door open, I find her sitting at her desk, buried in paperwork. I wince in sympathy, so glad that once I’m crowned queen, I will have her to take care of paperwork. I can’t think of any paperwork that I’ve ever enjoyed.

“Hadley?” Grace frowns, glancing at the clock. “You’re early.”

I crash into the chair across from her desk, though we usually sit at the table near the fireplace, as I nod. “I read something last night that I wanted to talk to you about.”

She takes off her glasses, setting them on the desk before focusing on me.

“Apparently, the Fae Queen is to marry within a month of her coronation to someone from each of the minor courts. This is information I feel you should have told me. I shouldn’t have had to find it out from a book.” Holding up my hand when she goes to speak, I continue, “I understand you might not have wished to overwhelm me, but I don’t know how you expect me to learn how to be the queen that you expect me to be if you’re always keeping things from me.”

Grace sighs, rubbing her hand against her temple. “I’m sorry that you had to find out like that. The plan was to tell you within the next few days, but you’re right. I didn’t want to overwhelm you, and you’ve already had to deal with so many changes. But I also understand that it wasn’t fair of me to keep it from you.”

“I’m glad that we can agree on that. With that out of the way, I have a few questions for you. First, when is my coronation going to be? I’d like to know how long I have to find my future spouses.”

“The coronation will be one month after your twenty-first birthday.”

“So I have two months until I’m meant to marry.” I shake my head. “That isn’t very long.”

“No, it isn’t.” Grace sighs. “I’m sorry that so much is being put on your plate at once, but no one expected both of the major court’s royal lines to be wiped out all at once.”

“I also have questions about that before we start today, but how do you expect me to choose consorts when you don’t allow me to see anyone but Kai, Caiden, Marcos, and Hunter? I assume that your intention wasn’t for me to marry them, since you told me not to trust them.”

Grace leans back in her chair, falling silent as her gaze falls to the only window in her office. Finally, she turns back to me with a sad smile. “I know that their parents hope you will choose them. It is why they sent them to help you. If they can’t take the throne for themselves, this is the second best option. Though I can’t say for sure, I would guess that is their plan. Knowing the heads of the families that rule over the minor courts, they would do whatever is necessary to expand the power that they now hold.

“But I don’t want that to influence who you decided to marry. I want this to be your choice. It’s bad enough that you barely have any time to get used to any of this. What I will tell you is that you don’t need to choose them just because they are the only Fae that you currently know. There will be a selection of available Fae—both men and women—attending your birthday masquerade. And then we can also start setting up meetings and events for you to meet others beginning the next day.”

I hold my hand up, trying to wrap my head around all the information she keeps giving me, without forgetting the questions that I already have. “What do you mean, birthday masquerade?”

“I mentioned it shortly after I brought you here. I’m not surprised that you don’t remember.”

I wrack my brain, trying to remember the conversation, but I come up short. “I’ll take your word for it. There’s been so much information piled onto me in such a short amount of time that I honestly can’t keep it all straight.”

Grace looks remorseful as she folds her hands atop her desk. “I’m sorry that you’re feeling overwhelmed. It’s not that surprising. I’m also sorry for keeping things from you. Know that if I kept anything from you, it wasn’t with malicious intentions, and some of it might even have been because I just plain forgot. With no reigning major court royals, my job has gotten a lot harder and busier.

“It is not an excuse, but an explanation as to why I might have missed some things. All I can do is say that I will try to do better. I don’t want our relationship to start out badly, as I’d like to stay on as your assistant once you take the throne. It will help ease your transition, but I also know that I can’t expect you to put me in such an important role if you can’t trust me. I will do my very best to be more transparent with you from here on out.”

“So there’s nothing else that you’re keeping from me? Not for my own good and not just because you forgot?”

She shakes her head. “Not that I can think of, but if I think of anything, I will be sure to let you know immediately.”

---