Page 109 of My Kind of Monster

His grin falters, his dark eyes pinning me down in my seat, and I’m suddenly cold.

“I didn’t actively seek to take you out of there because it’s none of my damn business, but at the same time, if you had your own plans to escape… I can’t stop you. There were no rules about that. Plus, to be honest I wasn’t sure what choice you were going to make. You could have taken the snowmobile for all I knew.”

“It’s none of your business or… Niklas threatened you not to?” The look in his eyes as I ask that question tells me I might have made a mistake.

“Threatened me? No Suki, he doesn’t need to threaten me.”

“So… he asked you to leave the kidnapped woman alone and you, as the sheriff, said… you betcha!” I regret the sarcasm immediately. The self-preservation instinct doesn’t seem to run through me.

Seconds pass, and his eyes are still on me—cold and emotionless. “Yes.” There’s a hint of amusement staring back at me, a sinister amusement and as much as it freaks me out, it intrigues me. This man is a peculiar paradox that I cannot quite figure out. Cheeky, yet stern at times, easygoing, yet terrifying. Somehow, he seems like the kind of man that you want on your side in a fight.

“Yes…” I repeat his word.

“I trust him, Suki.”

“This dynamic between the two of you, I do not understand it. You are the sheriff, you know what he does...”

“Let me stop you right there.” He interrupts me before I can finish. “I’m the sheriff, yes, but me and him… we have a past.” He turns his attention back to the glorious view in front of us. “A past that forced me to put my fucking life in his hands and that shit builds trust. I’m not going to deny that he’s a crazy motherfucker; however, I don’t ever get involved in what he does. This means that I don’t know when, who, or how he kills. Oriffor that matter. I know one thing for sure. The people he kills...” He turns his eyes to me yet again and I swallow a lump that I didn’t know was stuck in my throat.

“Each and every one of them deserve it.”

It’s a strange dynamic between the two, two sides of justice—one is law and the other you would never want to be on the receiving end of.

I turn my attention to the view, and I find myself breathing harder. I see a tiny town beneath me as we descend, and the closer we get, the more detached I am from my soul. There is a peculiar sense of emptiness inside me.

A harrowing emptiness.

NIKLAS

The moment I enterourbedroom I know something is wrong. It’s a strange feeling, like a severed connection. The sound of silence in this room is deafening and the air feels light, too easy to breathe, and scentless. I hear the running shower in the bathroom and I know, even before I push the door open… I know the only thing that water stream is hitting is the tiled floor.

“She’s gone…”

Red, I’m seeing red. Too many thoughts run through my head at the same time and panic fills me, thoughts of Adrien coming for her, taking her from under my nose. I’m running through the house, checking every room, every nook and cranny for signs of her.

“She’s gone!”

I never thought that I could feel this, this all-consuming rage. My mind is chaos, and I will burn this mountain to the ground until I find her.

I rush back upstairs, intoourbedroom, and as I hear the faint noise of Connor’s helicopter in the distance, I head straight for the dressers and wardrobes.

Adrien didn’t take her.

Most of the clothes Connor brought her are gone. She left voluntarily… she left me. I don’t know whether Connor helped her or she sneaked in, but one thing’s for sure—she’s on that helicopter heading to Bear Creek and I’m snowed in on this mountain.

For a long time, until her, fear has been the only emotion I could identify on other people. I assimilated, turned it over and over again, analyzing is effects on others, yet never fully grasping how it would feel on my own skin. Until now. Gut wrenching fear tears through my body.

Fear for her safety.

Fear for her soul.

Fear for my own.

My body aches, my eyes burn, my lungs constrict and my heart... for the first time ever, feels the loss tearing it apart with sharp slashes, spilling its blood within me.

I want to run, I want to scream, yet on the outside I’m as calm as ever as I take a slow, deep breath and walk through the glass doors onto the terrace. My hands rest on the rail on either side of me, and I look into the distance, at nothing in particular. My body calms, my pulse steadies, yet the demons are busy, my mind filling with possibilities—an idea is forming—a love letter to her.

My skin is cold as ice, and I realize I’ve been standing here for a long time. My favorite time of day has come. The sky burns and the sun dies behind the mountains—the most beautiful view of all.

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