Page 34 of Reject (Academy of Misfits 2)

I nod, feeling sick. So, fucking sick. “I had too. It was the only way,” I implore looking directly at Eastern.

“To secure your future?”

“Exactly that. You were there, Mr Burnside. You heard what Crown said,” I reply.

“You agreed to join his crew, not be his fuckinggirl!” Eastern roars.

“He wouldn’t accept me into his crew otherwise. I had to do it.”

“Did Camden force you into this?” Mr Burnside asks with a frown.

“Are you for real? No! Thesituationdid.”

“Fuck, Asia. I can’t see you be his. Ican’t,” Eastern sits down on the armchair, clasping his head in his hands.

“I’m doing this for us. For Braydon and Tracy.”

“Are you sure about that? Seems to me you like the fucking variety.” He glares at me as he throws everything I told him back in my face. Maybe there’s a tiny shred of truth in that. Despite everything, there is an attraction between Camden and me. Of course, I’m indignant. He doesn’t get the higher ground on this one. Not this time.

“Don’t!” I snap. “Don’t you fucking dare. I’m doing this for you, forus. We wouldn’t be in this position if you hadn’t joined his crew in the first damn place.”

“I had to do it for mum, for Bray. I thought you understood that?” he bites out, heartache riddled throughout his words.

“Ditto, you fucking arsehole!”

“Enough!” Mr Burnside stands, picks up a heavy paperweight from his desk. He holds it out between us. “This is how it’s going to work. When you have this, you get to say whatever you feel. The other person must remain quiet. No interrupting. Let them talk knowing you will get your turn. I will not have a slanging match in my office. Understood?”

I nod tightly, glaring at Eastern. “Got it.”

“Eastern?”

“I understand,” he snaps.

Mr Burnside hands the paperweight to me first. I hold it in my palms, the glass cool against my skin. I want to throw it at the ground and watch it shatter. I don’t. It wouldn’t solve anything.

“Go ahead, Asia.”

Sitting back down in my seat, I concentrate on the heavy weight I’m holding. “Camden didn’t want me in his crew.” I swallow deeply, unable to meet Eastern’s gaze but I can see his leg bouncing up and down in agitation. “He didn’t believe my reasons for wanting to join either. He said I had to prove my loyalty. There was always going to be a price, Eastern. This is it…”

“What, becoming his fucking girl and casting me aside? That’s not something I agreed to,” Eastern interrupts, rage and bitterness cracking his voice.

“It’s just a label. Nothing more.” I pause, gritting my teeth and holding back the flood of emotion I feel. “This is only for a short while. I promise.”

“And when he tries to kiss you, touch you,fuckyou? What then, Asia? Or maybe that’s what you really want, is that it? Another guy to add to the growing list.”

My eyes widen, and I feel the lash of his anger as though I’ve been flayed by some motherfucking Roman soldier. I know he’s hurt. I understand it, but to think that way about me. No. He doesn’t fucking get to say that shit. “Don’t throw my honesty back in my face, Eastern. Don’t you dare do that. Don’t make me sound like some fucking whore. I’m not.”

“Eastern, you know the rules. Let her talk. Then it’s your turn,” Mr Burnside interrupts. He’s trying to remain neutral, but I can tell he’s affected by what’s going on. Shocked, even. Well good, he’s as complicit in this as Crown and Mr Carmichael are. I didn’t see any of them trying to persuade me not to ruin my fucking life.

“Look, I get you’re hurt. I. Get. It. But I’m doing this for you. For us. Just because we’re here at Oceanside, doesn’t mean our lives are any different. Not really.” I glance at Mr Burnside, who’s clutching the edge of the table, his knuckles white. “I love you, Eastern. I always have. That hasn’t changed. Itwon’tchange. I can’t help the way I feel about Sonny and Ford, but that’s over now. I can’t be their friends, and anything more that might’ve been is just an impossibility…” My voice cracks, my resolve to be strong waning. I hand Mr Burnside the paperweight, not trusting myself to speak without fucking crying. I won’t do that. He takes it from me. Holding my gaze for a moment. There’s pity in his eyes and pointless words brimming on his tongue. I can see it, almost hear them and it makes me so fucking angry. I don’t want pity or words that mean nothing. Neither will help me or Eastern. It won’t help any of the kids here. I drag my gaze away and look at my oldest friend. He’s staring at me with such despair that I can barely stand it.

“It’s your turn, Eastern,” Mr Burnside says softly, handing him the glass globe. He takes it, staring into it like it’s a crystal ball that can see into our future and let us know it’s going to work out okay. For a long time, he just sits in silence. Then he looks at me, brows furrowed, hurt lashing against him like a storm with no end.

“Sorry is such a useless fucking word, isn’t it? Sorry doesn’t mean anything when all is said and done, but I’m going to say it anyway.” Eastern gets up then kneels before me, placing the paperweight on the floor by my feet. He takes my hands in his, his thumbs rubbing over my knuckles. “I’m sorry, Asia. I’m sorry for getting us into this. I’m sorry that somehow you’re the one getting us out of this fucking mess. I’m sorry for all the stupid mistakes I’ve made. I’m sorry that I can’t be a better man for you. I’m sorry for making you feel like you’re anything less than the most important person in my life. I’ve had you all to myself all these years and it’s hard for me to see you even consider someone else, let alone know you’ve kissed them…”

“Eastern…”

“Please, let me finish.”

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