Page 35 of Reject (Academy of Misfits 2)

“Okay,” I murmur. Mr Burnside is staring at us both, but he doesn’t interrupt this moment. I frown not wanting him to hear this conversation any longer. This is private, this is between us. He must pick up on my discomfort because he stands, pushing away from the desk.

“I’ll give you two a moment.”

Eastern doesn’t even acknowledge him as he leaves the room. He shuffles forward on his knees, pushing between my parted legs and sliding his hands up my thighs to embrace my hips.

“I want you to be mine. I’ve wanted that for years now, but I waited. I was patient because I know you, Asia. I understood that what you needed the most was a friend. That’s changed now. We’ve grown up, you’ve grown up and you need someone who’s worthy of you. You need someone who can protect you, make you smile, make you feel safe and secure,loved. You need someone who makes your heart beat faster, and your fingers itch to touch them every time they’re near, like mine do when I’m around you. All of that. I want that person to be me, but I also want you to be happy and now I’ve messed up any chance of that happening by putting you in this position. I’m insanely jealous that you trusted Ford and Sonny enough to let them in, that they got to kiss you too. I won’t lie about that.” He blows out a long breath of air, his fingers tightening on my hips.

“Eastern, you really don’t get it do you? Youdomake my heart beat faster. I want to be with you, kiss you. I want you to be mine too… even when you really piss me off.” I laugh sadly, placing my hands on his arms. I know that this is hard for him to hear, for me to say given the circumstances, but I need to say it. I need to make it clear. “But you have to know, Sonny and Ford have made an impression. You’re right when you said that I don’t let anyone in, yet I let them in. I have to work out what that means even if I can’t act on it right now, if ever. You know how hard it is for me to open myself up to disappointment. Please don’t make these feelings I have seem ugly. I won’t allow that. Iwon’t.”

He nods his head in understanding. “I hate that Camden can call you his, it cuts me up inside because I wanted that honour.”

“Eastern, it’s always been us…”

He gives me a tentative smile, one that shows off his crooked teeth. Then it fades as he regards me. “I do trust you to protect your heart.I do, it’s just…”

“You’re afraid I’ll end up somehow falling for Camden’scharms?” I sigh heavily. “I don’t even like him, Eastern.” I don’t, but there’s no denying that I do feel something. Lust, definitely. But, fuck, I could never love him. No way.

“You admired Bling, even before you knew that was Camden. I remember the way you used to stare at his artwork for hours obsessing over themysteriousartist… I can’t believe it’s him.”

“Liking someone’s art is very different to liking someone as a person. No one was more surprised than me that Camden is Bling.”

“I know that,” he admits, then frowns at me. “See, here’s the thing, Camden trusts you with his secret and he never trusts anyone.No one, Asia. Why would he do that if there wasn’t something there…”

“Maybe on his part. Not on mine,” I say adamantly.

“If I’m gonna be completely fucking honest here, I lashed out today not just because Camden was being an obnoxious, bragging prick, but because my gut was already telling me that there’s something between you. Even if you’re not willing to acknowledge that yet. I know you, Asia.”

“Eastern,Jesus…” My heartrate kicks up a notch because he’s fucking right. There is something between Camden and me. This weird fucking hate-lust feeling I can’t seem to rid myself of. He shakes his head, cursing under his breath.

“Look, that’s none of my fucking business anyway. I don’t own you.” He grits his jaw and squeezes his eyes closed for a moment. “Fuck, I’m no good at this… Just tell me what I can do to help? I feel so fucking useless letting you carry the weight of this all.”

“You need to trust in everything I do. Trust inme, okay?”

“I can do that. It might fucking kill me, but I trust you above everyone, Asia. He’s not going to make this easy, you know that right?”

“Of course I do. I have to walk away from you, Eastern. From Sonny and Ford. At least you know why I’m doing it. They won’t.”

“That fucking wanker, he really knows how to twist the knife in. I get that he’s lost his sister. I get he’s angry at the world, but this, this is fucking wrong.”

“And what we’re doing isn’t?” I remind him. “If he opens up to me, trusts me enough like you believe, I’m going to have to stab him in the back. I’ve got to live with that, Eastern. Regardless of what we think of him, he is who he is because of circumstance. Just like we are.”

“This is so fucked up.”

“It is, but this is the world we live in, and this is how we’re going to survive it.”

“What about Ford, Sonny? If what you say is true about them, they won’t give up on you. If I was in their position, I wouldn’t either.”

“They can’t know. You can’t tell either of them. Understand?”

“I do.” He cups my face in his hands, rising a little so he’s level with me. “I want to kiss you. Can I do that? I might not get another chance for a long time. I need something to keep me fucking going.” His smile is lopsided, cast in the shadow of his misery.

I don’t answer with words. Instead, I lean forward, pressing my mouth against his full, soft lips. He groans, his hands sliding around my hips, grasping the top of my arse and pulling me forward so my legs are pressed either side of his torso. Our tongues tangle, a dance that is unfamiliar in its intensity but feeling like home regardless. We grab hold of one another, kissing like it’s the very last time, not the start of many. It hurts, somehow this kiss hurts my heart and that same deep sense of foreboding seeps into my veins. When we eventually part, I press my forehead against his, my fingers digging into his scalp. “We’ll get through this. Got it?”

“Got it,” he responds, pressing a kiss against my forehead and getting to his feet.

“And Eastern…”

“Yeah?”

---