Page 54 of Spark of Madness

I don’t hear the rest of Killian’s righteous tirade. I’m locked in, my attention held, trapped in the way Arlo watches me. My pulse quickens as moments pass, as Killian’s voice fades to a muted rumble, and the wind sounds like a roar as it flicks my hair across my face.

Wildflowers and starlight.

I can hear his voice in my mind, and the sweet words drop through me like a lead ball in my gut. My fingers curl over my knees, nails digging into my flesh as I watch the flicker of bright blue in his eyes, as something in him calls to me, compelling me to stay locked in.

It isn’t until the service has ended and Delle stands beside me that I’m pulled from the trance. I gasp, feeling like I haven’t taken a breath in minutes. Sound returns and voices mutter around me.

I glance over my shoulder as Delle says, “Mercy?” I see everyone is standing except for me, the villagers returning to the village, the servants hugging and chatting quietly.

I stand and pat Delle on the arm reassuringly. I turn quickly before Arlo can catch me and make my way over to Ellary and Cambria, who are locked in a sorrowful embrace.

“Ellary.” I tap the brown tresses that hang over her shoulder.

They release each other and Ellary turns to face me, expressions of discomfort and judgment greeting me.

“You shouldn’t be speaking with us,” Ellary rushes. “Go back to your warden.”

“I just wanted to say hello…” I peek around her to Cambria, “to see if you were healing okay.”

Cambria crosses her arms and her brow furrows. “You can’t speak to us anymore. It’s not right.”

“It’s not— What do you mean, I can’t speak to you? You’re my friends. I need you.”

Cambria leans forward. “For heaven’s sake, Mercy, you’re a sinner. We can’t be seen talking to you.” She glances around warily, looking at the other servants before she lowers her voice. “People will talk. They’ll think we’re sinners like you.”

“I’m not a…” I know there’s no use in arguing my virtue. It’s what everyone believes, and I can’t change their mind. “I just want to know you’re okay.”

“We’re fine,” Ellary clips, her features soft though her voice is sharp. “We take care of each other. But we don’t wish to speak with you anymore. We’re so disappointed in you. You—” Her voice breaks and I feel it in my chest. “You broke our hearts.”

I press my palm over my heart, rubbing over the aching, pounding muscle. “What?”

“You always had a different way of thinking, a different view of things, but I never would have thought you would sin this way,” Cambria says quietly. “I never would’ve thought our best friend would condemn herself for eternity.” Cambria breaks into a sob, and I feel my heart stop beneath my palm. Ellary slides her arm around Cambria’s shoulders, pulling her into a side hug.

“You’ve brought this upon yourself,” Ellary tells me. “We fear for you…we do. We pray for you every night. We pray you’ll find absolution for your soul through the trials. But darkness and demons plague you, Mercy, and we won’t risk corruption. We can’t speak to you anymore.” Tears well in her eyes, as they do in mine. “It hurts too much.”

“It hurts to speak to me?” My voice cracks against my will as teardrops slip from the corners and run down my cheeks.

Ellary nods sadly as Cambria begins to cry.

“I’m sorry.” Though I don’t know what I’m apologizing for, I mean it.

Iamsorry.

I’m sorry we were born in Ember Glen.

I’m sorry we were chosen for service.

I’m sorry my self-preservation hurt them.

I’m sorry we don’t see our world the same way.

I step backward, not because I want to, but because I feel the weight of their disappointment drop between us, shoving me back.

“We’ll keep praying for you,” Ellary mutters. Her arm tightens around Cambria, and they turn away.

I take another step backward as I watch them walk away from me, and my tears fall like a river down my cheek. I close my eyes and let them fall, clutching my dress over my heart. My world has become so sad and silent.

The touch of leather against my cheek startles me. My eyes snap open as Arlo traces the trail of tears with the tip of his gloved finger.

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