Page 82 of Isla

Isla

Isteppedoutof the taxi and inhaled the smell of chocolate and sighed. It wasn’t real—the hurt was the only thing that was real, but nothing stopped me from missing them.

Seeing the restaurant ahead, I sidestepped busy commuters and ran out of the falling rain, trying to avoid the puddles. But that was my life now, one enormous puddle for me to step into. But it had never been sunshine and roses for me and now I had to make the most of my life. I had no choice. I always fucked it up—this time spectacularly.

Because the last two weeks, my life spiralled out of control, and now I was treading water and I needed to take charge again or soon I wouldn’t be able to breathe. But it was hard. I no longer had meaning in my life. Living in my cramped apartment, there was no longer a need to move to the suburbs and find something bigger for me and my child now.

Only a desperate need to leave.

I was a failure.

A dud.

I was an omega who didn’t come into heat.

Was that it for me now?

No alpha would want an omega who couldn’t breed. No alpha would want an omega who was bonded to another alpha.

I pushed open the door to the restaurant. But I wasn’t sure if this was what I wanted any more. It was worse than not feeling excited. I felt empty. Not that the feeling was unusual. I’d felt empty for much of my life. And now shouldn’t feel any different. But it did, because now I knew I couldn’t fill the void with a family, a pack, not even an alpha to keep me warm and fulfilled at night.

I considered going back on suppressants. Sometimes, I preferred my body would think it was a beta than the failed omega I was. But Tilly talked me out of it. She was going to speak to her pack to find out if they knew of a pack who would meet with a bonded omega.

I wasn’t crossing my fingers.

I knew deep down not to hope.

Who would want an omega that couldn’t extend the pack? And to be honest, I didn’t want another pack. The more time I spent away from Harrison and Finn, the more I missed the night we shared in Vegas. But I no longer knew what was real, if in my emotional state had I unwittingly told Harrison and Finn how I scented them?

Like King, they could have duped me.

I rubbed at the bond mark on my shoulder and hissed. Why the fuck did he do that to me? I was as good as dead.

In the staff room, I pushed the hood off my head and shrugged my coat from my shoulders and hung it on a hook, then I glanced at my slowly fading tan in the mirror. A last reminder of what I had.

Get a grip, Isla.

But it was hard. I felt so fucking miserable. I was supposed to get married, get pregnant, and live happily ever after. Instead, all I had ahead of me were nights out with friends and going back to my tiny apartment with a takeaway meal for one.

I glanced at my watch. I had ten minutes before I started and I needed a coffee. That would fix my mood and tiredness. I hadn’t slept well, too busy letting my mind wander to the dark space inside my head.

“Hi, Isla. It’s good to see you finally made your way back to work.” My boss, Paul, handed me a notepad and a pen. “I’ve demoted you. Table nineteen is waiting.”

“Demoted.” Tears stung my eyes. I didn’t argue as I took the pad and walked away. Not engaging was for the best. Arguing took too much energy, and I was in a worse mood than before, and that was hard to do.

Could my life get any worse?

I sighed, walked away and pushed through the door of the staff room and just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse. Noah sat glaring at me from table nineteen.

Inside I was shaking, but there was no way I was going to let him see I was nervous, so I pushed my shoulders back, straightened my spine and strode to his table.

“Hello,” I said, as I tried to keep a calm tone to my voice. “What can I get you?”

He sneered. “You jilted me at the altar. You disappeared when I turned up in Vegas and you cancelled the Bahamas hotel. And you ask what you can get me as though you don’t know me.”

“I don’t know you,” I said, tapping the pen on the notepad. “All I remember is an alpha who screamed at me to leave his office because his lover was sucking him off as he sat underneath his desk.”

“Isla,” he growled. “Keep your voice quiet.”

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