ChapterFifteen
VITO
“Stop hovering.”
I pulled away from the entryway to the kitchen and sighed as I walked back over to Amadeo. “It’s not hovering. I’m checking on them.”
“They don’t need checking up on.”
“How can you be so calm?” Amadeo lit a cigarette and I took one too. Smoke curled into the air and I exhaled deeply. “It’s fine.”
“Are you convincing me or you of that?” he asked, a grin tugging at his lips. “Because I’m not convinced.”
“Fuck off.”
Amadeo chuckled. “So, he seems to be doing a little better.”
I nodded. “Yeah as long as he’s alone with me. Around other people, it’s still like pulling teeth. He’s going to have a tough time adjusting to life.” I pushed around the ashtray. “Maybe it would be best to put him with someone who’s more patient. A doctor or something.”
Ama raised a brow. “And you would allow him to be taken away from you?”
That question made me grit my teeth. Saying I could let him go should have felt like the right thing to do, but I knew it was impossible. Even if I wasn’t the best for Romare, I didn’t want anyone else to take care of him.
“You have a thing for him.”
I scoffed. “Romare? He’s less than half my age. What would I be doing with a boy like that? It’s insane.”
“Doesn’t mean it’s not true.” He looked me over and I felt exposed under his gaze.
“What?”
“It could be a good thing for you, Vito. You’ve been all by yourself for too long.”
I grunted and tapped my cigarette against the ashtray. “You know why.”
“I know you punish yourself for something my father forgave you for. Something I forgave you for too.” He tilted his head. “You don’t have to keep doing that. Everything you’ve done for this family over the years is commendable and strong as fuck. I know what you’ve risked. How many times you’ve almost died.” He pointed his smoke at me. “But you still think I hold that fuckin’ grudge.”
Amadeo. I loved my nephew. He was the type of man that was good at what he was doing because he was perceptive. The man saw everything. But he didn’t get it. Amadeo might forgive me and so did Vincenzo in the end, but I still hadn’t forgiven myself. I couldn’t face the rest of the family with the guilt that weighed in my chest like a stone.
“You’re overthinking it,” Ama said.
“No, I’m thinking about it clearly. This family believes in one thing above all else; loyalty. Maybe Vincenzo should have put that bullet in my head after all.”
Ama growled. “Don’t talk like that! You’re going to piss me off.”
I waved a hand. “Don’t worry, I’m not about to get melodramatic or anything. It’s just a fact,” I said before I put out my cigarette. “Something I think about when the nights get too quiet.”
“I wish you would listen to me. The past is the past, Vito. We want you to be a part of this family again. Fully. But if you need more time, then I’ll wait. We’ll all wait.”
“Vito!”
My head shot up as Ro called me. Thank God. Having that conversation with Amadeo wasn’t on my to-do list today.
“Yes, ragazzo?”
“Can I have juice?” Ro called.
“And popcorn!” Six added. “Oh and a soda?”