ChapterFive
“Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.... If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it.”
Unknown
Maddie woke up and felt mildly disoriented and it took a moment for her to remember where she was.
And who she was with.
Was it crazy that she felt happy? This was the scenario she had always wanted—to go to sleep at night with Knox and wake up in his arms in the morning. They’d only had two nights to do that before everything fell apart, so she was going to let herself enjoy this because it was likely going to be the only time it was going to happen.
Wasn’t it?
The sex yesterday was completely wild and unexpected. Knox had made love to her with an intensity that bordered on ferocious and yet she loved every single second of it. It was smart for them to take sex off the table after that, but—dammit—she was so tired of doing what was smart and practical. Yesterday she finally felt what it was like to be bold and to leave her comfort zone and so far it was pretty amazing.
Well, except for the arguing and the crying, but…wasn’t that all part of the healing process?
So why am I still playing it safe?
Good question.
A quick glance at the bedside clock showed it was barely six a.m. Knox was pressed up behind her with his arm draped over her waist. His breath was warm against her neck and as she squirmed slightly, she realized he was wearing nothing but his boxer briefs.
Which looked damn fine on him.
Yeah, just thinking about how much his body had changed and filled out made her squirm even more. He was all lean muscle, and she didn’t take the time yesterday to truly look her fill.
Slowly Maddie rolled over to face him and wondered if he was a heavy or light sleeper. Once she settled in, she noticed his eyes were closed and his breathing was even, and figured he was still asleep.
That’s when she allowed herself to really look at him. The blankets were down at their waists so his chest was completely bared to her. It took everything she had to not lean in and kiss it, but she had a feeling it would only be a matter of time before she did it.
He had a few scars that hadn’t been there before and it made her wonder how they had gotten there. How did he get hurt and who was there to care for him? Just because he wasn’t currently involved with someone didn’t mean there hadn’t been someone—or multiple people—over the course of the years.
And the wave of jealousy that hit her almost made her head spin.
It was one thing when she would randomly think about things like that when she hadn’t seen or spoken to Knox in years. It was another when he was right here in front of her. It wasn’t logical; after all, she’d dated a lot over the years and just because she didn’t want to think of Knox with another woman didn’t mean he hadn’t been.
And after seeing him naked, she imagined there had been plenty of women in his life.
“Well, shit,” she whispered.
“Problem, Angel Face?” he murmured, pulling her in close.
Maddie’s heart kicked hard in her chest at the mention of the name he used to call her. Tears stung her eyes because she couldn’t believe he remembered it after all these years.
How he remembered so many things.
She snuggled in until they were intimately pressed together and reveled in the warmth of his skin. When he placed a soft kiss on the top of her head, she felt like maybe she was dreaming.
Letting out a slow breath, she looked up and saw his eyes were still closed and she wasn’t sure what to say. Then he opened them and there was so much emotion there—uncertainty, vulnerability—but then in an instant it was gone and replaced by heat and need.
He certainly wasn’t lying when he said it wouldn’t take much to get them back to where they’d been yesterday. They took sex off the table last night, but this was a new day and that meant new rules, right?
The clock was ticking on their time together. Maddie knew that Knox was going to have to get up and get ready for work soon and she had planned to be on the road by eight. Every moment lying there in indecision was a moment wasted.
Gently biting her lower lip, she met his gaze and had to fight the urge to smile because she saw the effect she was having on him. It felt good—empowering.
And she wanted more.