Page 121 of Cry For Mercy

Chapter Forty-Five

ADAM

I woke when I heard people mooching around, and realised with a start that I was still on Marco’s sofa. Fuck. I’d slept through the rest of the dark morning, and left Julie to wake up alone. I sat up, groaning as I rested my head in my hands. How could I leave her to wake up alone, after what I did to her last night?

“Coffee. Drink it.” I looked up to see Lenore, who nodded at me and walked away, leaving a steaming drink on the table in front of me. I grabbed my phone, which was sitting on the table, running very low on battery power.

There was a message from Julie. Of course there was. Because she’d woken up alone. I replied to apologise for being away, and we planned lunch. I had some time, so I sat back, and sipped the coffee. I had no idea where to go from here, anyway. Had anything Marco said last night even helped me?

“Your head any straighter this morning?” He asked, as he took the chair he’d been in last night.

I stared at him, feeling more than a little bleary eyed.

“I have no fucking idea. I mean, you’re right… talking it through is the most important part, but I’m worried I can’t step up and be what she needs. Hurting a woman is… well, it couldn’t be further from what I’m capable of than, well, anything.”

Marco nodded. “I’m with you. The thing is, if you’re giving her what she’s asking you for, it becomes part of what you do in bed, and not about anything darker than that. It’s not abuse, Adam. She’s not asking you to slap her around, day and night. She’s asking you to help her gain control of her mind. She’s trusting you, with something she’s probably never asked of anyone before.”

Lenore sat on the other end of the sofa. “Besides, you’re going to help her get the proper care she needs too, right? Counselling, therapy, whatever it takes?”

I looked from her to Marco. “You told her?”

He grinned, nodding. “No secrets between us, Teller. That’s how a proper relationship works. You might want to try it.”

“Fuck you, and the bastards you work for. Our relationship would have been built on honesty, if not for being forced to lie, right from the fucking start.”

Marco shrugged. “If not for this case, you’d never have met her at all. Maybe try being grateful for that, rather than being a little bitch.”

I ran a hand over my hair. “I’m always going to be fucking grateful for that, but I think she might not feel the same way in the end.”

Lenore leaned forward. “I’m going to be honest with you, Adam. I was pretty sure you were a paedophile, so I’m doubly relieved that you don’t want to hurt a grown woman, any more than a child. But if it’s all consensual, and is actually helping her, then maybe you just need to suck it up, and be a man about it.”

I took a few gulps of hot coffee. “You know what? You guys need to toughen up a bit, stop wearing your hearts on your sleeves. Thanks a fucking bunch for being assholes about this.”

I grabbed my phone, shoving it in my pocket, and headed for the door. A hand on my arm stopped me in my tracks.

“Talk to her. Try. If you can’t do it, be honest. But if you really want to be her everything, that means even the stuff you find difficult, or distasteful.” Lenore released my arm, just as Marco approached, and fixed a glare on me, as if I’d willingly let her touch me. I raised my hands, backing out of the house as she opened the door.

As I got in the car, and started the engine, I remembered something about last night. A demand from the Bennett bastards, to meet them for lunch today. I’d forgotten all about it, with everything that was happening. Clearly Julie had forgotten too.

Me: Baby girl, I just remembered we’re supposed to meet the Bennetts and Cass for lunch at their house. I’ll come straight to pick you up. Sorry.

I started driving, listening out for a return message that never came.

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