Page 209 of Those Who Are Bound

And was it weird that the only person she wanted to talk to about it was Jonah? That her relationship with Becks, the men she’d been with, her fears over Jonah finding out the truth about all of it—about Gage—would make Jonah see her differently. But Jonah was the one person she wanted to talk to about all of it. Because he’d listen to her, comfort her, and probably tell her she was making more out of it than she needed to.

Which was probably why she was sitting on the bank of the Missouri River in Parkville, watching the sun reflecting off the swiftly moving waters. She couldn’t be with him, not really, but close, in a sense: TrekGear, the pizza parlor. Although Parkville wasn’t Jonah’s any more than the River Market was. And this was where Gage would watch the coal trains, so this place was nostalgic for her.

It gave her brother back to her. It also served as a reminder of what she’d done, another reminder of his absence, so she wouldn’t do it again. So she wouldn’t do it to Jonah.

Was it poetic or ironic that they were both such powerful forces in the same space, Jonah and Gage?

She was comforted here, too. Even now, knowing she could be caught out by Kale or Megan or even Jonah, there was no awkwardness. If Kale happened by, she’d smile and wave; no reason not to.

She’d consumed the Starbucks… she had no idea when. Sometime while she’d sobbed over Becks’s bombshell that there would have been no saving Gage. Did she know her brother had bad moments? Of course; it was part of the reason she’d moved in with him.

Did she think he’d leave her?

No. Never. She never thought there could be anything bad enough in his head to outvote her, that would make him leave her behind. But she’d underestimated herself: she’d cast the die. It had been her.

She had the letter to prove it. Where Becks got off saying otherwise, she didn’t know, because he’d seen the letter, too.

And then there was Jonah. God, her heart. Thinking about him both hurt and made her feel good. Becks had caught her and called her out with that slip of the tongue.

Stretching, she realized she’d been gone for a few hours, and she needed to pee. After all: coffee. She stood and walked toward the trash bins to recycle her cup. Spying a discarded plastic bottle on the ground, she sighed and shook her head, before bending over and picking it up. She tossed both items into the recycle bin, and rubbed her hands on her thighs, surveying the area, looking for more wayward plastic bottles.

Lifting her gaze from the ground to the people, she was struck by a pair of emerald green orbs, stuttering her heart and threatening to buckle her knees.

How long he’d been there, leaning against the tabletop, she couldn’t guess, but he was wearing gym shorts and a tank with tennis shoes. He’d probably been jogging, noticed her, and stopped. His black hair was still drying at the ends. Unsure, she watched him assess her. She waited for the microexpression that told her he was disgusted; that he wanted to accuse her of the same things Killion had.

But there was no animosity in his stare. Not from Jonah. Just watchful.Maybe concerned.

She walked slowly toward him. How fucked up was she that the only person who could comfort her, whose arms she wanted around her, was the one person she shouldn’t be seeking out? She gave him a look of pleading apology as she approached.

Shifting, he opened his arms to her. She fell against him, breaking, wrapping her arms around him, reveling in the feel of his embrace. “It isn’t fair that you’re comforting me when I’m constantly hurting you.”

He pressed a kiss to her temple before responding, “I’ll always comfort you. When you need me, I’ll be here. No matter what happens between us, you’ll always have me. Take whatever you need.”

God, this man. Burying her face in his neck, she cried even harder.

“But this pain isn’t for me; about me.”

It was for him, more than he knew. “There’s so much you don’t know.”

“Why can’t you tell me instead of keeping us in this state of limbo?”

“Because I want to hold on to something good,” she mumbled, referring to the way he looked at her.

His answer was a slow, soothing caress of her back.“You are a contradiction,” he said quietly.

She nodded agreement. And as much as she loved being in his embrace, there was something more pressing she had to attend. Pulling back, she made a face. “I need to find a bathroom.”

Amused, he offered, “Well, I’m a little hungry. I know a great little pizza place…”

She nodded. It was a bit of a relief, too. If he’d suggested TrekGear, she knew there was a futon in his office—not that his expression was suggestive, but…

Straightening off the table, he took her hand. Casually, naturally, like her hand belonged in his. They walked the path toward the tiny town.

“How did you know I was here?” she asked.

“I didn’t. I dropped in to check on the shop and decided to go for a jog to clear my head. I saw a distinctive Mustang in the parking lot.”

“Jogging in the middle of the day? Is that even safe? Where’s your water bottle?” she teased, bumping him with her shoulder. “That means you ditched out of the reception.”

---