“What life? You don’t have a life. You’ve kept yourself in a bubble, in a cocoon. He’s the first man to break through your control, your caution. You deserve this.”
“He doesn’t deserve me.”
“You did nothing wrong.”
“How can you say that? You were there.Wewere there. My love comes with a body count.”
Becks blinked. “You love him.”
She took an aggressive step forward. “Shut up!”
He matched her posturing. Of course, he’d taught her how to box. If she was going to go toe-to-toe with anyone, Becks could take her. With his audacity to get in her face, he was asking for her to show him how well she’d learned.
“Gage—” he started.
“Take his name out of your mouth!” she screamed. It was too much, the memory of their last moments with her brother, the events of those winter days. The guilt that haunted her swirled around the space, between them, wrapping her in its phantom arms.
Becks canted his head. “Kid, you need to move beyond this.”
“How? How is there moving beyond it? All I can do is try to control myself and make sure I don’t hurt anyone else.”
Becks suddenly reached out and grasped her face. “Oh, Ellie, I’m begging you. Give this man the opportunity to prove to you that he isn’t like the others. I talked to him for two minutes—”
“You had no right!” she yelled, scared and angry tears welling. For all that she did believe in, the one thing she held on to was the way Jonah still looked at her. How would he look at her now? How would he look at her if he ever learned what she and Becks had done to her brother? How would he even look at her now, knowing what she’d done with Becks? “You had no right! And Gage—”
“Gage was going to take himself out no matter what,” Becks yelled. “There was no saving him, Ellie.”
She screamed, swinging her fist. “Fucking liar!”
He blocked her, expertly dodging, dragging her to him in an attempt to control her. “Do you think I wanted to admit that to myself? He was my family, too.” His voice cracked.
Elliott screamed and writhed in his hold, ineffectual, like a child rebelling instead of a kickboxer with the skills to remove herself from the situation. Her arms thrashed as tears coursed down her cheeks. “But he was mine; he was mine.” Hers to save, hers to reassure, hers to pay penance to until it was better—untilhewas better. Becks didn’t get to rob her of that; she’d been too dependent on that guilt to drive her. He didn’t get to take it away.
The screen door crashed open, startling them both. Killion stood on the threshold, taking in the scene with a look of distaste. Frozen, they both stared back as they sucked in air.
Killion’s stare finally shifted to her. “There are people out there trying to get married and you two are in here screaming. Do you mind shutting up until after they say ‘I do’?”
Instantly, they parted. Wiping at her cheeks, she glanced at Becks. “I’m leaving.” She walked over to the table where she’d left her Starbucks and grabbed it.
“Ellie,” Becks said behind her.
“I’m fine. I’m pissed. Don’t talk to anyone.” She threw him a hard look before she backed Killion out the door.
“You want him gone, boss?” Killion asked, looking like he’d do something more sinister than escort Becks to the airport.
Elliott paused, sniffing, and shook her head. She watched as he looked her over her, as though trying to imagine her having sex with the man inside—seeing him come to some conclusion that left her more victim than willing partner, based on the sympathy in his expression.
“Killion,” she said, to get his attention. Once she had it, she said sincerely, “Whatever opinions you have, they’re yours. Don’t feel a certain way because of me, about him.” Her voice trembled as she finished, “As furious as I am with him right now, he’s my memory. He’s all I have left of my family, so heismy family. I’m not going to feel bad about that. You—no one—gets to make me feel bad about that.”
Killion stared at her for a moment. He glanced toward the door behind her before he nodded. “Sure thing, boss.”
As she’d noted: this was turning into a shitshow. How was everything going off the rails of her life so spectacularly? Everything was slipping out of her control. Screw that, it had been out of her control.
Lucy Moore walked onto her property with Jonah Montgomery and… gone. Control, sanity. Heart.
She’d known from the start he wasn’t like the others. But she’d pulled the proverbial string on the sweater, and now it was all unraveling.
He was supposed to have been her chance at normalcy. He was edgy enough to hold her attention without triggering her compulsion to destroy… Not that she’d ever tested that theory before.