Page 35 of Love Out Loud

He shook his head. “Mom thought they were dirty. She’s a cat person.”

The four pint-sized racing-dog wannabes were taking a break at the water fountain with the Frenchie, seeing who could make the biggest mess. Her dogs were winning by a landslide.

“Anyway, I had gone over to see the neighbor’s dog, and while petting it, I tripped the latch. The dog was standing on its hind legs, leaning on the gate. When the gate swung open toward me, the dog lost its balance, and I got knocked backward onto the pavement.”

That had to have been terrifying for a small child.

He was staring far away again. “I remember the dog landing on top of me and the sound of my head smacking the pavement.” He paused as if reliving it again. “When I woke up, I was in the hospital emergency room with a cracked skull.” His eyes came back into focus, and he turned his palm over, taking her hand in his.

Fiona’s heart ached for the scared little boy, but she didn’t squeeze his hand back like she wanted to for fear she’d interrupt his thoughts.

His brow furrowed. “Mom was really pissed. At me, at the neighbor, and at the dog. Even after it was clear I wasn’t affected in any permanent way, she was still angry enough to call the neighbor from my hospital room to threaten a lawsuit. She also pushed the cops on how to get an order to have the dog put down.”

Fiona bit back the ugly words she wanted to say about that.

“When the police questioned me after I got home from the hospital, I told them what had happened and that it wasn’t the dog’s fault. I begged them not to kill the dog. That made Mom even madder.”

Jacob gave a helpless shrug, like Fiona imagined a six-year-old would do, and her breath caught. Thank goodness she’d kept her mouth shut and let him continue.

“The cops told her that since it happened on the neighbor’s property and I had opened the gate, there was nothing they could do.” His brow furrowed. “Mom was furious, and I felt horrible for making her so mad.”

Jake laced his fingers through hers, and Fiona marveled at the rightness of his touch. So weird, considering they were talking about his childhood trauma.

“Sometimes fear manifests as anger,” she said. “Your mom was understandably upset thinking she had caused you to be hurt.”

“Thinkingshecaused it?”

“Sure. She left you outside. Ultimately, the entire thing was her fault.” And Fiona wanted to chew her out for it, especially for making a little boy feel that dogs were somehow bad or dangerous. Still, thinking her kid had possibly been permanently injured or could have been because of her negligence must have been terrifying for the woman. “My lawyer friend, Jane, calls it the ‘but for’ rule.But foryour mother leaving you alone, you wouldn’t have been hurt. She blamed herself.”

“Huh… I’d never thought of that. I’d always thought she was just mad at me for disobeying her and pissed at the dog for knocking me down.”

He glanced to his right at a black Lab playing with a big poodle mix, but his hand and thigh under her hand didn’t tense. “But foryou, I’d have seen that dog and I would’ve been blocks away by now.”

Something in her clicked into place at his words, and her ribs felt too small to hold her heart and lungs. She’d practically run from Washington Square to get away from all the ridiculous romance that was making her body plan a coup against her mind. And here she was, holding his hand in a dog park. She had to get this train back on the rails before she made a fool of herself. He had clearly regretted the kiss, if his apology was anything to go by, so getting all mushy and ignoring her brain’s very strong opinion that falling for this guy was a bad idea would be foolish. Fiona was a lot of things, but a fool wasn’t one of them.

She unlaced her fingers from his and removed her hand. “But foryou, I wouldn’t be giving this stupid speech.”

“Oh, no,” he said. “Youare the reason you’re giving the speech. You earned it. You own it. Don’t go blaming me.”

After some digging around, she pulled the pages out of her backpack. This time when she read, she imagined Daisy and Otto sitting on the end of her bed, listening, with their heads cocked to the side. It made it easier to imagine them as her only audience as she recited the words on the page, but she still hated it. Somehow, though, it wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been at home alone. She could sense Jake’s big body next to her on the bench as she stumbled through the speech, and it was like he radiated comfort. The words on the page faded for a moment, and she shook herself internally.Get it together, drama queen, she admonished herself. He radiated comfort… Sheesh.

“Almost done,” he encouraged.

She flipped to the last page. “So back to that question a friend asked me: Why do I do it? The answer is clear: How could I not?”

When she glanced over, he was watching the Lab across the fence.

“And the crowd goes wild,” she said.

“They probably fell asleep,” he answered with a smile. “But it was a solid first run. Now, we need to get you used to the words so that they are second nature. You should memorize it or at least commit most of it to memory. I think it would help you be more comfortable. What do you think?”

“Sure.” She had a great memory. That would be a snap.

He glanced at his watch. “I need to get to the office for a lunch meeting.”

Instead of rejoicing at the end of a public speaking practice, she was disappointed, which was all kinds of messed up.

He stood, but she remained seated. “How about later today?” he asked.

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