Page 111 of The Accidental Wife

Shayla

“Sophie's pregnant.”

I stare at Cole numbly while my fingers lose the grip I had on the glass, which slips and smashes on the tiled floor. Did he just say Sophie is pregnant? Did I really hear him, right? I don’t even think I was blinking while I just sat there staring at him like some kind of an idiot. I think I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

“Oh. Wow. Congratulations. I should, uh, c-clean the glass...” I mutter pathetically while I kneel on the floor, attempting to pick up the shards of glass with my trembling fingers.

“Shayla, what are you doing?” I hear Cole say as he hurries toward me, kneeling in front of me while I pick up the broken pieces of glass.

“It just slipped out of my hand when you…uh, God, I’m so sorry.” I apologise.

“Shayla, leave it. Stop, you’re going to hurt yourself, just leave it.” Cole frowns and reaches out to touch me, but I flinch, and he pulls his hand back. My entire body was trembling so much that I couldn’t get a grip on the pieces of glass.

“No. I made a mess. I need to clean it up.” I whisper, trying desperately to keep the quiver out of my voice while I pick up the shard of glass.

“Shayla, you’re going to shred your fingers! Stop.” Cole shouts, shaking me. He takes my face into his hands and lifts my watery gaze to meet his. I look into his eyes, unable to utter a single word or make a movement. “Baby, let go of the glass.” I stare at him motionless while he takes my hand into his, and he pries my trembling fingers open where I had fisted them tightly around a shard of glass. “Christ, Shay. What have you done? JESS!” He shouts, and his assistant comes running into his office. “Get me the first aid kit now!” Jess nods and runs out of the office while Cole looks down at my bleeding hand. He pulls the shard of glass slowly out of my hand and winces. “Jesus, Shayla, you’re bleeding so much.” He says, looking around the office frantically. “Why did you do that, huh? Why?” He asks, looking at me worriedly, and I stare at my blood-soaked hand blankly.

“She’s pregnant?” I lift my gaze to his and blink, looking into his green eyes that well up as he watches me.

“Shayla, I’m so sorry.”

I shake my head and drop my gaze, “Why?” I whisper with a shrug.

Cole looks at me, forlornly, “For making a mess of everything, for hurting you all over again.” He admits, and I shake my head.

“It really is incredible. Just when I let myself believe that this is the worse I will ever feel, something else happens that breaks me that little bit more.” I tell him, and Cole shakes his head, reaching up; he wipes the tears that stream down my face just as Jess comes in with the first aid kit. Cole takes it off her, dismisses her, and she leaves the office.

“Shayla, I swear to you, I was careful. I don’t understand how this could have happened.” He explains, wrapping a cloth tightly around my hand and putting pressure on it to stop the bleeding.

Cole looks up into my face expecting me to show some form of reaction to the pain but frowns when I stare at him vacantly. “I may have slipped when I slept with her while I was thinking about you.” He explains, and I close my eyes and wince at the thought of him having sex with her. “I was miserable and started drinking every night to ignore the ache deep inside me after you left and I—.” He justifies, and I close my eyes, not wanting to hear anymore.

“—Stop,” I whisper bleakly, shaking my head. “You don’t owe me an explanation, Cole. You’re having a baby. You should be happy.”

“How can I be happy, Shay? That baby is tying me to a life I don’t want. I don’t want Sophie. I don’t want the baby.” He tells me, his tone strained with desperation.

“Cole, don’t say things like that; that’s your flesh and blood.” He sighs sullenly. “It’s an innocent little baby. Whether you want its mother or not, that child is a part of you, and that will never change.”

Cole closes his eyes and bites his lip. “Shayla, I want you. I want us.”

“There never was an us, Cole. We need to both accept that now and move on because I can’t take much more. I’m tired of constantly picking up the pieces, only for them to fall apart all over again. I don’t have the strength, nor do I have anything left for you to break. I’ve given all I have, and I’ve taken all I can take. Please, I’m begging you, just release me and let my heart rest, please.” I sob defencelessly with my head hung. I didn’t have the strength to even look at him any longer. Cole presses his forehead to mine, an endless stream of tears rolling down his cheeks.

“I’m so sorry,” He whispers, brushing my tears away with his thumbs. “Please don’t cry. I know this is so very selfish, but you have no idea how much I wish it were you that was pregnant instead of her.” He admits, and I whimper, shaking my head. “I would have been so fucking happy, especially if it was a little girl with your eyes, your gorgeous smile, and a beautiful heart like yours.” He sobs, burying his face into my neck. I wrap my arms around him, and he hugs me tightly. “How am I supposed to let you go, Shay. Tell me how?” I sigh, closing my eyes, and pull away from him.

“Cole, coming back here, it was a bad idea. I can’t be here anymore. It’s too hard being this close to you every day.” I admit dropping my gaze, and Cole shakes his head.

“No, please no, don’t you dare tell me you want to walk out of my life for good. I won’t let you.”

“Cole, I can’t be around you. It hurts too much.”

Cole looks into my eyes, his fingers combing through my hair, “Please don’t go. I’d rather see you every day, and have it kill me. I’d rather love you quietly from afar than have you walk away and never see you again, please don’t.” He pleads sorrowfully. “I know I have no right to ask this of you. If you have to hate me, then hate me, I’ll take it. I’ll take you hating me any day over losing you completely.”

“I wish I had it in me to hate you, Cole, it might have made this constant aching in my heart more tolerable, but I don’t think I have the strength to watch you get married and have a baby with her,” I sigh with a shrug. “I just can’t.”

Cole drops his gaze from mine to my bleeding hand and licks his lips, “I understand.” He whispers woefully and frowns when he unwraps the cloth and sees more blood oozing from my hand. “The bleeding won’t stop. Your cut is too deep. I’m taking you to the hospital.” He says standing, and I shake my head with an exhausted sigh.

“I don’t need to go to the hospital. I’m fine.” I reply, wiping the tears away that kept rolling down my cheeks. I’m so fed up with crying. I don’t want to cry anymore. I just want it all to stop. Cole leans over and lifts me to my feet by my arms.

“You’ll bleed out if you don’t get stitches, Shay.” I look at him; he has my blood all over his hands, grey trousers, and his white shirt.

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