Page 13 of Love Me Again

"On our honeymoon." She answers, her voice barely over a whisper, and averts her gaze after holding mine for a touch too long.

Shayla has her hands out to me to help me out of bed. I wince and groan when I feel a surge of pain in my ribs whenever I move. "Youokay,bab--" She starts to say but stops hastily, catching herself before she calls me 'baby' yet again.

She does that a lot.

I was getting the feeling we would call each other that quite a bit. "Hold on. Your gown is untied." She sighs and reaches behind me to tie the strings together.

Shayla's soft hair touches my cheek, and I turn my head when I smell something exotic and sweet. Where have I smelt that before? It felt vaguely familiar to me. "All right, come on."

Pulling back, she holds her hands out. I frown and take her offered hand and stand up. I hiss when I straighten, and the pain catches my breath. "Slow breaths Cole, Doctor Bennet said to avoid deep and sharp breaths. Short and shallow." Shayla speaks tenderly as she allows me to hold her arms as I take a couple of steps.

"Ahh fuck," I groan when a surge of pain ripples through me, and I stagger. Shayla steps closer to me, and I press my forehead to hers, trying to catch my breath.

"Do you want to stop?" She asks, lifting her eyes to mine. I shake my head and pull back a little.

"No." Shayla nods, and each time I took a step forward, she took one back, supporting me the entire time.

This was our routine for the next few weeks until I was able to move on my own. Shayla helped me with everything despite me snapping at her continually. I'd catch her eyes well up, but she blinks the tears away and exhales.

I was trulyfed upwith being cooped up in bed. After we left the hospital, we went back to the place I supposedly share with Shayla. Josh and two other girls-- Shayla's best friends Aimee and Jo helped bring me to the house. I look around the house and frown when nothing felt familiar to me. It felt as though I was in a stranger's home, despite the photos of Shayla and me on the walls. It didn't feel like home to me. I felt nothing.

I stood there staring at the enlarged photo of Shayla and me above a fireplace. We were dancing at what I'm assuming was our wedding, considering I'm in a tux, and she's in a bridal gown. I'm gazing into her eyes, and she's looking up at me lovingly, both of us smiling happily at one another with our arms wrapped around each other. "That was the happiest day of your life, bro." I look at Josh when he comes and stands beside me, looking up at the photo.

I shake my head and sigh. "I feel like I'm looking at an entirely different person. That person there looks like me but doesn't feel like me." I look at the photo and stare at Shayla's face. "How can I go from looking at her like that to feeling nothing at all?" I sigh, rubbing my hands over my face. "Josh, where is Sophie? I was happy with Sophie." I express, and Josh looks at me, shaking his head.

"Cole, that was four years ago. Sophie walked out on you andbroke your heart, and then you met Shayla and fell out of your mind in love with her. You tried again with Sophie after you and Shay got divorced. You even almost married her despite being in love with Shay because she lied to you and tried to tell you that her ex-fiancé's baby was yours. She tried to trap you." Josh tells me, and I stare at him bewildered. "When you found out you were livid, you left her on your wedding day and went running after Shayla to stop her from leaving for Canada."

I sigh, rubbing my hands over my face, aggravated. "Everything you're telling me just feels so unfamiliar to me. This whole thing I had with Shayla sounds fucking messy and so unlike me. I ran off and married her in Vegas the night I met her? Me?" I press incredulously, shaking my head. "I would never do something like that. Period."

"No?" Josh nods and unlocks his phone, scrolling through it before he hands it to me. "Watch that." I take the phone and watch a video of Shayla and me in a chapel laughing hysterically. "That's the night you met her. Shay has changed your whole life for the better, man. You may not remember this, but you put her through hell, so much so that she was running away halfway across the world to disappear from your life." I watch the video of myself carrying Shayla out of the chapel kissing. "The whole world was in awe of your love for one another."

I rub my temples tiredly, "Enough, Josh, I'm tired of hearing about this great fucking love. I don't love her. I don't even fucking know her! She’s just a girl I’ve never met in my life." I shout angrily and turn to walk off when I see Shayla standing there. Our eyes meet across the room, and even from afar, I can see the hurt and tears gathered in her eyes at my outburst. I shake my head and walk off toward the front door. I yank it open, ignoring the pain in my ribs, and storm out of the house.

I'm fuckingfed upwith people telling me what I should be feeling or how I should be feeling about everything. Does no onegive a shitabout how I feel? I almost fucking died, and all everyone keeps blubbering on about is how much I loved this girl. She's a girl. No different from all the bloody others. Did I feel a little bad for her? Sure. It can't be easy on her, but I can't force myself to feel something for her when I don't.

I wander around aimlessly for a while before I go back to the house. Josh and the two girls had left, and the place was quiet. As I walk through, I wonder if Shayla left with them until I heard noises coming from the first floor. I follow the sound, making my way up the stepsone at a time, groaning at the pain of my ribs. I stop outside the door when I hear the distinct sound of someone crying. I wouldn't even call it crying, no, it was sobbing, like when you're in absolute agony, and you can't catch your breath. It was Shayla. I press my forehead to the door and close my eyes, my chest got tight, and my breath constricted the longer I listened to her weeping.

Something deep inside my gut made me push the door open and walk into the bedroom. Shayla was curled up on the bed in the foetal position crying, her whole body shaking with hoarse sobs. I feel like a real arsehole for hurting her. I walk to the bed and sit at the end, my head cast down while I stare at the floor. "I'm sorry," I apologise and glance over at her. I couldn't see her face with the way she was lying. She doesn't say anything for a while, only sniffles quietly.

"Please leave me alone." Comes her whispered reply, her voice breaking. I close my eyes for a second and turn to face her properly.

"Shayla, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out like that. I just--"

"You don't love me. I get it." I bite my lip. "I'm fine, just please... leave me alone." She weeps wretchedly, burying her face into the pillow. I sigh, defeated, and stand up. "Your bed is ready next door. If you need anything, you can shout." She whispers, and I stare at her back for a moment and nod before I walk out of the room, leaving her alone.

I lay on the bed staring at the plain white ceiling all night. I had so much on my mind, so many questions I couldn't find the answers to. The doctor said the best place for me was with Shayla because that's my routine, but it didn't feel normal. I couldn't stop thinking about Sophie and everything Josh told me about her. I should be with Sophie-- my girlfriend right now. I wince at the ache in my head--nothing makes any sense. I look over at the wall separating my room from Shayla's and wonder if she's asleep. With a frustrated sigh, I push myself up and opt for a long hot shower. I walk out of the bedroom and look around for the bathroom. My ribs were killing me. Where the hell did she put my painkillers? Isee the lightunder the door to Shayla's room and notice the door was ajar.

I push it open and look around the bedroom. The shower was running in the en suite. "Shayla?" I call out, holding my ribs as I move over to the bathroom. "Shayla," I call again and get nothing. I feel a surge of panic rise in my gut when I get no answer from her. What if she's hurt? The door swiftly opens, and she appears in front of me naked and dripping wet. Shayla jumps, startled, and lets out an adorable squeak, looking up at me, her green eyes wide.

"Cole." She breathes, clearly surprised to see me standing there.

"Uh..." My eyes rake over her body, and she shrinks back a little under my gaze before picking up a towel. "Pills," I mumble when she wraps the towel around herself, her cheeks pink. Oh damn, that's cute as hell.

"Oh, they're in here." She tells me and turns to walk into the bathroom again. She comes back two seconds later, holding a bottle of pills.

I take them from her and nod. "Thank you. Would you mind if I shower? I can still smell the hospital on my skin." Shayla nods and steps aside.

"Cole, this is your house, too." She replies with a sigh. "You don't have to ask my permission. This is your bedroom just as much as it is mine. Your clothes, your stuff is all in here. I only prepared the other room just in case you felt uncomfortable sleeping in here with me." She explains, looking around the room, and I rub the back of my neck awkwardly.

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