Page 14 of Love Me Again

"I know you probably don't want to hear this, but it doesn't feel like home to me," I tell her earnestly and once again see the sadness in her eyes. "I mean, not yet anyway," I add, and she nods.

"Yeah, I suppose it would feel strange to you, wouldn't it?" She utters, biting her lip with a shrug. "I'll let you shower." She whispers and walks further into the bedroom. I watch her for a couple of seconds while she slides the cupboard open and looks through it with a little frown on her faceas ifshe were in deep thought.

I walk into the bathroom and breathe in that exotic smell again. It was passion fruit and coconut. Is that her shampoo? I toss a couple of painkillers in my mouth and swallow them.

That shouldtake the edge offthe pain for a couple of hours. I try and lift my shirt off, but every time I move, my ribs hurt like a bitch. "Ahh shit." I groan, exhaling as the doctor told me to.

"Cole, are you all right?" I hear Shayla ask from behind me. I bite my lip with a shake of my head.

"I can't." I groan, closing my eyes. "Would you mind helping me get undressed?" I ask, and she nods and moves over to me.

"Of course." I watch while she steps in front of me, her bottom lip between her teeth. "Lift your arms slowly," Shayla instructs, patiently waiting for me to lift my armsover my head. I hiss when I move, and a sharp pain makes me keel over.

"Ahh." I whimper, closing my eyes, and Shayla steadies me by placing her smallhands onmy shoulders.

"Careful baby," She whispers in my ear, helping me upright again. "Stay still." Shayla lifts my t-shirt carefully up andover my head. I open my eyes and watch her as she brushes her fingers over the bruises on my ribcage. Her eyes glaze over a little, and I see them well up. I inhale deeply, not because she hurt me but because her touch sent a tremor through me. Shayla jumps and pulls her hand back, lifting her eyes to mine. "I'm sorry." She breathes, looking at me apologetically, and I shake my head.

"You didn't hurt me. Your hands are a little cold." I assure her, and she nods, focussing her attention on unbuttoning my jeans and feebly tugs them down my legs. I step out of them, and she stands up again.Not eventhe slightest bit phased that I was standing butt naked in front of her. Why would she be phased? I'm her husband,after all. She's obviously seen me naked, but a tiny part of me was a little disappointed for some strange reason.

I watch her as she runs the shower for me and turns to look at me again. "If you need anything, just give me a shout." I nod and thank her before she walks out of the bathroom, leaving me to shower.

* * *

Over the nextcouple of weeks, thingswentfrom bad to worsebetween Shayla and me. I was almost fully healed, my ribs only a dull ache. Our frustration with one another hit its peak. We were continually arguing and butting headsat homeand work. I was yet to remember a thing about the last four years, and it was beginning to get on my nerves. I'm missing a huge chunk of my life, and I can't remember a single thing. There was one moment where I thought I remembered something, but it passed too quickly, so I wasn't sure if it was a dream or a memory.

Frankly, the longer I'm stuck living with Shayla, the more baffled I am about why I fell in love with herin the first place-- or even married her twice, for that matter.

She's so fucking stubborn; it's infuriating. For example, the other night, we sat in the living room listening to a couple of songs that seemingly held some special meaning to us. "Shayla, I do not remember any of these songs. This is pointless." I sigh, rubbing my forehead, and she rolls her eyes.

"Cole, you'renot eventrying if you'd just listen--"

"I am listening, Shayla!" I shout, agitated. "Do you think I'm sitting here for the fucking fun of it? I don't remember any of these stupid songs, all right!" I yell at her and get up. I storm off, leaving her sitting there watching me as I walk out of the house, slamming the door shut behind me.

I don't know how much more of this I can truthfully take. It's becoming unbearable living together. I can't even go someplace to talk to someone because everywhere I go, people talk about Shayla and how much I loved her. Josh, my parents, my employees. It's the same old spiel every damn time, and I'm sick of it. If I was happy before, I sure as shit am not now-- and neither is she.

Where was this great love of ours? Shouldn't I have remembered something about us by now? It's been almost three weeks, and I'm no closer to placing anything. People keep waffling on about how great Shayla is, but what about the four years of hard work I put into these projects and can't remember a single thing about any of them. I'm sat here in my officeat homestaring at the last project I was working on before my accident, and for the life of me, I can't figure any of it out. It's really beginning to grate me.

"Cole?" I look up and see Shayla in the doorway, watching me. "Why don't you take a break from work and let's go out for a bit?" She suggests, and I sigh, rubbing my hands over my face.

"I have too much work to do, Shayla," I reply, looking down at the files in front of me. Shayla walks over to me and leans against my desk, looking at me.

"Work can wait. Besides, you're getting nowhere just sitting there staring at it. You were already having trouble with this project before the accident. You'llfigure it out. You always do." She assures me, and I lean back in my chair and look at her. "I want to take you someplace special to me."

I nod and bite my lip. I suppose a little break wouldn't hurt. "Okay." I agree, and she smiles.

Thirty minutes later, we walked along the river toward a crowded place with fairy lights, carts, food trucks, and music. "What is this place?" I ask her as we walk through the crowd, and she smiles up at me.

"Our favourite place." She says, lacing her fingers with mine. I look down at our hands and back at her. "Before we got divorced, you took me to play crazy golf, and wemade a betthat night. If I won, you agreed to end our agreement to stay married early, and if you won, you got to kiss me whenever you wanted for a week." Shayla explains as we walk, and I smile a little.

"Who won?" I question, and she smiles, licking her lips.

"You did." I nod, smiling, and watch her as she leans over and hugs a little girl that comes running over to her.

"Shayla!"

"Hi Esme, how's my little princess?" She greets her and squeezes her nose gently. "I'm going to get something to eat with Uncle Cole real quick, and then I'm going to find you, and we're going to dance,okay?" Esme beams at her and nods. Esme lifts her chocolate-coloured orbs to me and smiles beautifully.

"Hi, Uncle Cole." She waves at me, and I feel my heart melt. I perch down in front of her and touch her little chin.

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