Page 82 of Cuffed By Love

I siton my bed after Mira walked out and stare at our handcuffs clutched between my fingers. I was an arsehole to her when all she was trying to do was help me, and now I feel like shit over it.

I was angry. Hell, I’m still mad. I don’t know what right I have to be annoyed with her when she’s done nothing wrong, but I fucking am. I resent the fact that my brother can touch her whenever he wants. I resent that he got to hold her and comfort her when it should have been me. Mira’s mine. She’s always been mine. She’s my Tinks. I know it’s stupid, and if she decides to pull me up on my shit and ask what I’m fuming about, I wouldn’t have a leg to stand on. I wouldn’t have anything to say.

Because what fucking right do I have? I’m not her keeper. I’m just her old best friend. I don’t even qualify to be her best friend anymore, either. Wyatt has replaced me. I’m the ‘could have been’, the first kiss, the first to taste her, the first boy trusted enough to share her body with. All those things don’t give me an entitlement over her. No matter how much I wish that it did.

The dejection in her voice earlier cut me deep. With a sigh, I get up and walk out of my bedroom to apologise to her. “Tinks?” I call out into the apartment. Where the hell is she? I look all over the apartment for her, but she’s not there, neither is Levi. I notice her car keys are gone from where I left them on the table earlier. She’s gone.

Of course, she’s gone, you fucking idiot. I rush over to the elevator and see the numbers descending. She just left, if I hurry, I can still catch her and apologise. I grab my keys and run over to the emergency staircase at the side of the building that leads down to the car park. By the time I got to the twentieth floor, my head had started to spin from going round the winding staircase.

I bloody loathe stairs. I finally reach the lower level, breathless, my legs shaking threateningly. I lean over, placing my hands on my knees to catch my breath and slow the crazy beating of my heart. I hear her laugh echo in the car park and straighten. I follow her voice and halt when I see her by her car…with my brother.

Levi has her pressed up against the car, his face nestled in the crook of her neck. My entire body felt heavy and numb as I stood watching them. I fucking knew it. I want to go over there, rip him away from her and beat the ever-living shit out of him, but my feet feel like lead. Like an overstretched elastic band, my heartstrings snap, and I feel my heart take a dive and splatter all over the floor.

It was at that moment that it became abundantly clear to me that just as I’d gotten her back, I’d lost her…again. Had it been another man, it wouldn’t have stung this much, but my brother? Obviously, Levi doesn’t know what happened between Mira and me, or he wouldn’t have considered going after her. How would he? I didn’t tell a soul. I’ve kept it buried with the rest of the unresolved shit involving Mira.

Perhaps this was something I needed to see, to focus on my relationship with Megan and stop questioning things and getting swept up with Mira. I don’t even bother hiding as I walk toward the exit. They’re too engrossed with one another to even acknowledge me. I push the metal door open forcefully and kick it shut with my foot. As I walk, an empty bottle of beer hits my foot. A wave of anger I’ve not felt in a very long time erupts within me. I pick it up and hurl it as hard as I can against the wall and watch it shatter.

What the fuck, Mira!

Yesterday she was in my arms. It was my lips she was about to kiss, and today she’s sucking faces with my brother. I want to scream. My lungs were ablaze like someone set them alight, and I have no way of putting them out. Every fibre, every nerve in my body burned with rage every time my mind replays images of her with him. How the hell am I supposed to face them both and act like I’m unbothered while they continue to hide their relationship from me and see each other secretly?

What fucks me off the most is that Levi could have said something to me about his intentions with her. I would have told him to go and fuck himself, but out of respect for mine and Mira’s friendship and mine and Levi’s relationship, he should have told me he liked her. Don’t I deserve that at the very least from either of them? Of course, I don’t. Who am I? They’re both adults, and they’re both single. They don’t need to answer to me. I’m being irrational—with good reason—but irrational nonetheless. I’m allowed to be hurt. I don’t know why I am, but I am.

After walking for a while, I find myself at a bar, downing one scotch after another till this insufferable ache in my chest numbs and isn’t choking the shit out of me.

Maybe I can cock up this meeting tomorrow, and we’ll be forced to stay handcuffed together for longer. That will keep her and Levi apart.

I glance down at my wrist and rub my thumb over it. Oh fuck me, I am crushing on her hard, so fucking hard that I don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t even want to see her beautiful face. But I miss her. I miss her smell, her stupid, dorky laugh, her clumsiness.

“Hi,” I turn and look at the pretty brunette with brilliant blue eyes that sidles up to me. She flashes me a smile, her artificially whitened teeth almost blinding me. “You look like you could use some company.”

I sigh, staring into my glass of scotch. “Not yours,” I utter dryly and knock back the remains of the liquor.

“A problem shared is a problem halved.” She purrs, batting her fake lashes at me suggestively and taking a sip of her drink through the straw. “I’m a good listener.” I look down at her hand when she touches my forearm.

I chuckle humourlessly, “Good listener but can’t fathom social cues?” I gripe and lick my lips. “Interesting. Look, sweetheart, I have a girlfriend, and even if I didn’t, I’m the last guy you want to get tangled up with. So, how about I buy you that drink you’re so clearly fishing for, and you leave me alone, kay?”

“Suit yourself.” She shrugs and spins on her stool when I gesture for the barman to get her a drink. I toss a fifty-pound note on the bar and get up. That should cover my four glasses of scotch and her next couple of drinks. I’m not usually that big of a bastard to women, but she caught me on a bad day.

When I finally get to my penthouse, I find it empty. Levi’s probably off out somewhere, or he’s gone off to be with Mira. I know that’s where I’d want to be. I pour myself another scotch from the bar and sip it as I walk out onto my terrace overlooking London’s skyline. The sun is setting, and the view is sensational. I set my glass down on the side and pull my wallet out of my pocket. I flip it open and pull the zipper to a small compartment meant for loose change.

I dig out the white gold chain I’ve been carrying with me for the past decade. The chain was a duo gift for me and Mira that I got for her fourteenth birthday to signify our friendship. The chain was meant for me, and she’s got or had the bracelet. My chain has the key that unlocks the heart on her bracelet. So, in effect, I hold the key to her heart. I wonder if she’s kept her bracelet or if she tossed it out. I never took mine off until I started seeing Megan, and she wouldn’t shut up about where I got the necklace and the significance. It was just easier to take it off than tell her about Mira, so I’ve kept it with me since. We’ve even got one another's names engraved on it. Well, mine has ‘Tinks’ down the side, and hers had ‘Dev’ engraved on the heart under the keyhole.

I toss my wallet aside and slide the necklace over my head. I close my fist over the key and close my eyes, “I’ll always have the key to your heart, Tinks.”

* * *

The next morningI woke up at the arse crack of dawn and went for a run to clear my head and help aid the hangover I was sporting from indulging in too many scotches. I don’t even drink that much usually, and I haven’t in a very long time, but last night it was well and truly needed. I needed to numb the parts of me that hurt whenever I thought about her. And it did the trick, for a few hours till I fell asleep and she popped up in my dreams. While she’s infuriatingly stubborn at the best of times, lately, she’s the lead in one too many of my wet dreams.

And now, I must scrape together the willpower to go and face her, all the while knowing she’s seeing my brother and pretend I’m none the wiser, so we can get the handcuffs on and get through this presentation. I have no idea how I will get through the day, but I am curious to see if she will mention anything about Levi or keep it from me.

Well, here goes nothing. I step up to her front door and ring the doorbell. Ayla answers the door, and she smiles. “Ah, the other culprit. Good morning.”

I offer her a sheepish smile, “You can blame Levi and Mira. It was their idea. I just went along with it.” Ayla rolls her eyes good-naturedly and gestures for me to enter.

“You two better nail that author, or you’re looking at another week of being cuffed together. And I’m sure with your girlfriend on her way, that’s the furthest from what you want.”

Oh God, that’s right. Megan will be arriving today. I give Ayla a courteous nod and force a smile on my face. I sure hope she can’t sense the irritation I’m feeling. “We’ll nail it.”

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