Page 27 of Since Always

I sigh, knowing at the very least I can tell her about all my other problems, even if I can't bring up Cass.

"Yeah. I'm stressed about pretty much everything, if I'm being honest. It's going to be a tough few months. I have a lot of opposition from some of the GOP I pissed off last year, with my defense of the Stinson Bill, and everyone who was backing Moriarty in the election this year. And now I've got some opposition within my own party to contend with, thanks to Reynolds and his cronies."

"I really hate that kid," Jessica says.

"Yeah, that makes two of us."

"You know, Jack used to loathe his dad. Reynolds Senior was against Sloane Tech at every turn. I know they are the beloved Colorado political dynasty, but I have never liked any of them. They're pompous and selfish and slimy. Well, all of them except Kaitlyn, obviously. Jack spent your entire wedding telling me he couldn't figure out how the hell she was related to 'those people.'"

"Yeah, I never did quite get it either. They are something else. But Mark has it out for me. He blames me for what happened to Kait."

"I don't think it's just that. You threaten him. His whole thing. He's been a spoiled brat since he was a teenager, and why wouldn't he be? He knew it was just a matter of time before the baton was passed. And then, before he's even old enough to run, you come in. He's supposed to be the young, good-looking liberal Senator from the state, and he has to watch you become the golden child. Cover of magazines, Sexiest Man Alive labels, dating models."

"I'm not—" I protest, but she waves it away.

"It doesn't matter. That's the public perception, and he wanted it to be him. He's a kid who has never not had exactly what he wanted. By the time he ran, you were already the man to know in Colorado. We both know that part of your allure during your first election was that you were the former son-in-law of John Reynolds. It was like you were the other son, beating him at his own game. And, instead of getting the limelight, he became one of Colorado's 'Sexy Senators.'"

"God, I hate when people call us that."

"I'm sure he does too. Mark Reynolds is not a person who shares well. Why would he be? And yet, here he is, coming up in your shadow, having to share the attention that he feels is rightfully his. I think when it comes right down to it, that's why he's such a prick. Not because of his sister."

"Well, I don't know what I can do about that. I just want to do my job."

"So, just do your job. Don't worry about him."

"He's gearing up for a fight on a bill I'm proposing."

"Owen Blaze. I have known you since you were—what? 11?"

"Yeah, something like that."

"Remember when they wanted to close the campus at lunch for Seniors? And student body president Blaze organized a walk-out?"

I crack a smile. "I mostly didn't want to go to class that day."

"You have never backed down from a fight. Never. Don't back down from this spoiled little shit."

I smile at her. "You know you don't have to be my therapist, Jess."

"I worry about you, Owen. I worry about you being alone. You are not even forty. You haven't had a serious girlfriend in…What's it been since we lost her? Thirteen years, right?"

The "we" hits me hard. Kaitlyn became a part of this family because I was a part of this family. No questions asked.

"It was twelve in October. And I know. I'm just busy."

"Oh, bullshit. Lots of people are busy. Jack was busy too and look what he created with this family."

"Jack was special."

She smiles. "Tell me about it." She studies me for a moment, but I avoid her gaze. "What's holding you back?"

"I mean, it's not like I haven't dated at all. I don't really..." I trail off, thinking. If I was being honest with her, I would tell her that the truth is I don't deserve it. Kaitlyn loved me and lost everything because of that devotion. I can't do that to someone else. But I don't tell her that. I add it to the pile of things left unsaid.

"I don't know. It never feels right. I date, but it's never like I can see myself spending forever with someone. And then, the times that I can maybe see a future, there are other things standing in my way."

Her eyes narrow as she contemplates this. "Things like what?"

"My life is just complicated. I can't bring someone else into it and thrust those complications on them. The media and the smear campaigns and the constant attention. It feels like even when I do find someone I want to be with, it just can't work and..."

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