Page 21 of Since Always

I laughed. "No, kiddo. You're still just Chris' little sister. And you're someone else's problem. Go do whatever you want to do. Whoever you want to do. Drink away the whole fucking bar, if you want. Maybe you can suck them off too. Thanks for that, by the way." The anger coursing through my veins was turning my words into icicles. I would regret this, and I knew it in that moment, but I couldn't stop myself. I hadn't lost control like this in years. Not since Kaitlyn. "You could use a little more work on your technique, but it was fine."

How hypocritical for me to accuse her of being immature.

I stepped out into the hallway, feeling smug, like I had won. As though I wasn't a 35-year-old man fighting a 20-year-old.

But then she stepped out behind me, and there was venom in her growl when she spoke.

"You know, you might be right, and my dad might be ashamed of me, wherever he is. But what do you think he feels about you? What does he think about what just happened between you and the little girl he trusted you around? How do you think he would feel about that, Senator?"

I slammed the door to my room, my entire world spinning off its axis. And then I ran to my bathroom and threw up, knowing I could never face Cassidy Sloane again.

CHAPTER 7

Cassidy

We are having dinner at the Dickinson's house in Aspen Village and I am, as usual, the last one to arrive. I ended up taking a nap after I got off the mountain and lost track of time.

Elliot and Sandra Dickinson are some of my parents' oldest friends, and being around them gives me a warm blanket of comfort.

"Is that my Cass?" Elliot calls, as Sandra lets me inside. I run towards him, letting him sweep me into his arms. There is something about Elliot that reminds me of my dad.

"It's so good to see you," I say.

"Your mom and Chris were just talking about your upcoming graduation," Sandra says. "I can't believe you are going to be 23. It feels like it was just yesterday you were running around the cabin in pigtails and putting on plays with your dolls."

"I remember that vividly," Chris says with a chuckle. "She used to rope O and me into voicing some of the characters. There was one where I played the evil wizard—"

"She always made you the evil something or other," my mom adds, and I shrug.

"Right. And Owen was always the handsome prince or knight in shining armor," Chris says.

Everyone looks at Owen, who shifts in his seat. He clears his throat and avoids my eyes as he says, "Yeah, pretty much."

"It's funny to think," my mom says, smiling at the memories, “you were doing those plays when you were like, what? Five, six? So Chris was...I guess not that much younger than you are now?" She glances at her friends, shaking her head. "It's truly amazing how quickly time passes."

It hits me then; a sudden, forceful realization that I have never fully processed. When Owen was the same age I am now, I was seven years old. I have known that, of course, but I can see clearly right now how crazy that is.

I push away the thought. My stomach feels queasy even trying to work it out.

That's how Owen saw me. All that time. Not as anything other than the little girl he knew, who he watched grow up in front of his eyes. And I think again about that night, and how I taunted him the next morning. I can't imagine what he must have been going through. It's no wonder he has avoided me and hated me for the last two years. I am hating myself now too.

While the Dickinsons and my mom go on about the passage of time and all the things that have changed, I look up at Owen, who is studying me. I wonder what he must be thinking. I am mortified all over again for what I did that morning.

"How's your writing?" Elliot asks, and everyone in the room turns to look at me.

"Oh, have you still been writing, Cass?" My mom asks. I had been editor of my high school newspaper but, once I got into the University of Southern California, I turned all my focus onto my business classes. Journalism felt wasteful, since my career was already laid out in front of me with the company.

Now I am the one shifting in my seat. "Uh, I do some. When I have free time, which isn't often."

"I keep telling her she should have joined The Daily Trojan. USC puts out an excellent paper," Elliot says. "And she's got genuine talent."

"Thanks, Elliot," I say, and I mean it. Elliot owns almost a quarter of the major newspapers in the US, so his opinion means something. "Honestly, I just want to do what I have to do to get out of there."

I suddenly want to change the subject, and for some reason, I know the only person who will pick up on that is Owen, so I glance quickly at him. Without missing a beat, he pipes in.

"So, Elliot. How is business?" Even after all these years, he’s still the knight in shining armor.

After dinner, my mom says she is going to stay to have some wine with Sandra. It is good to see her giggling with her best friend like a schoolgirl, and I kiss her on the cheek before I grab my purse and we say our goodbyes. Chris, Owen, and I make our way to the waiting car.

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