Page 67 of The Color of Grace

I was trying so hard not to let him know he completely freaked me out because I didn’t want to offend him if this was just his way of being a dad. And then he dug his fingers in my hair and tilted my face up. Eyes still closed, I was wondering how I was going to politely wiggle my way out of this when I felt the press of his mouth against mine.

This was the first time a man—a grown man, not just a boy my age—had ever kissed me. I could actually feel how old he was. Grandpa cologne assaulted my nose as his lips—all dry and squishy-soft with a slight shake as if he suffered from Parkinson's disease—mashed against me.

Blurting out a screech, I yanked away from him.

Hoping he’d accidentally slipped, as if maybe he had leaned a little too close and, oops, brushed his mouth across mine, I looked up with huge eyes, covering my mouth with one hand.

He pulled back, not looking startled at all. In fact, the sicko smiled.

I shoved past him and full out sprinted to my room.

“Grace!” he called, hurrying after me.

In fear, I yelped and slammed my door, bolting it and not caring if he heard this time.

Pressing my back to the exit, I covered my mouth and started to cry as I’d never cried before, not even after the dreaded doctor’s visit. It hurt, actually hurt to heave out the sounds that ripped from my chest.

When Barry knocked, I let out another small scream and leapt away from the infected portal. I spun around and stared at the locked opening of my room, afraid he might break it down to maul me some more.

“Grace! Honey, I’m sorry. I never meant to do that so soon.”

My eyes flew open wide. So soon? But he had meant to eventually?

I started to hyperventilate as Barry just kept talking to me through the door.

“I know you’re scared,” he said in a calming voice. “And I’m so…so sorry. I never meant to scare you. I didn’t mean to rush you at all, baby. Grace, would you please talk to me?”

I couldn’t get past the fact he’d seriously meant to kiss me.

“It’ll be okay.” His voice remained soothing as if he thought I was merely gun-shy

but otherwise willing to kiss him back. “Since I convinced your mother to take you to the doctor and get you set up on birth control, we can be safe.”

I gagged.

Covering my mouth with both hands as vomit worked its way up my throat, I scrambled toward my trashcan and hovered above it. All the while, Barry continued to talk, telling me I wouldn’t have to worry about babies or diseases.

I wretched again.

Though, at least now I knew what had happened to my mother. He had infected her thinking.

My stepfather continued pouring out his feelings about how he’d wanted to be with me since the first night he’d met me and how we could keep it a secret from my mother. He was admitting just how ashamed he was of himself for being jealous of Todd when I opened my bedroom window and climbed outside.

Chapter 19

Red like the rose on the necklace he gave me. I can’t wear it any longer. I feel cheap. Bought. Does he think he owns me now? Some John visiting his prostitute who’s left her red light on, telling everyone she’s open for business. He wants to turn me into Hester Prinn. He’s made me dirty like the red clay packed into my home ground. I’m buried under the scarlet dirt with memories of him. I wish I could wash off this shameful, filthy red with a wire brush.

* * * *

As soon as I escaped, crawling out my bedroom window and landing feet-first in the snow, I started running. Tears streaming down my face, I sprinted madly without destination. For a while, I kept looking back, thinking he would follow. A few times, I tripped and even fell in the muddy, snowy ground. I landed on hands and knees, dirty wet snow and small pebbles digging into my bare hands and through the jean cloth on my knees.

I hadn’t put on any gloves; my fingers were so cold I couldn’t move them properly.

I ran all the way to the dark abandoned high school before I realized I had no idea where to go. I hadn’t paused to put on a coat or grab my cell phone. My body wouldn’t stop shaking and I couldn’t tell if it was from fear or cold.

Probably both.

Help. I needed help, and the first person I thought of was Todd. He’d wanted to be my boyfriend so bad; he’d made so many attempts. Tonight was his chance to prove himself worthy.

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