Page 54 of Loving Lies (Granton University 3)

“And, oh, my God. I just realized he totally let the truth slip last night. He said, ‘When I was a kid,’ and then cut himself off. I didn’t even catch it because I was so stupid and enamored and…I’m not even sure if I’m allowed to be upset about this. I mean, I lied to him first, right? He was just protecting himself, playing along so he could find out what my ulterior motive might be, because God forbid someone to be nice to him and help him for no other reason than to be nice and helpful. But I get that he didn’t know that. Still…Did he really have to do some of the things he did, and say some of the things he said? He made me feel like…”

Pressing a hand to her chest, she choked out a humiliated sob and gritted her teeth as the tears came again.

“Why would he act like he wanted me to keep coming back to see him? Why would he tell me things, such personal things that made me think he cared? Why…why would he be such a total sweetheart to me, with no bullying tendencies whatsoever, and then turn a complete one-eighty, telling me this was all about revenge? I don’t…I just don’t understand. Any of it. It makes no sense. It doesn’t fit. I…it can’t be true. If only I had one minute inside his head to know what he was thinking, how he was feeling, or why he was doing any of this, I’d just…I don’t know. I’m so confused. And hurt. And mad. I’m so fucking mad.”

When she turned and focused on Logan’s face, she realized how far off the deep end she’d gone. But at least now she could admit she was mad, too, not just hurt.

“And why I am I talking so much to you?” she demanded. “I don’t talk to super-hot guys. I’m, like, physically incapable of it. But since meeting Jonah, I can…Dear God, what the hell has he done to me?”

“Well…” Logan scratched a spot behind his ear and cleared his throat. “Okay, I have no idea what happened between you two. But I know a little of what he’s done, and I know what he’s been through. From my own personal experience, I know doing something that is unforgivably wrong, something that not only affects your own life but the lives of many others, will change you. I have no doubt he is a completely different person now than he was on the day of the shooting. But I’m also pretty sure he has no idea who he is, either. If he’s anything like I was, he’s pretty upset with himself right now. And remorseful, and scared, depressed. Guilty. I’m sure he’s full of a lot of uncomfortable emotions he doesn’t want to feel. And I bet he’s grasping for something to save him, but he’s even more afraid to reach for it because he knows he doesn’t deserve it.”

Glancing at her, Logan smiled softly. “I bet anything his meeting you did help him, until the truth came out. I’m still just guessing here, but I doubt he liked realizing you finally knew all his imperfections. My biggest fear was always worrying about people finding out what I’d done. Now that he knows that you know, he could be ashamed and pushing you away so he can’t see any negative reaction you’ll have to the real him. Or maybe he doesn’t think he deserves you.”

“So, you’re saying I should go back and give him another chance?”

With a shrug, Logan sighed. “I’m not saying everyone deserves a second chance, but I do know not everyone throws them away either. Some of us actually appreciate them and work our asses off to justify them.”

His words made sense. Out of all the confusion brewing in her head, his common sense felt like a light at the end of a long, black tunnel. She could actually find her way out of the dark now.

“Thank you.” Going with the urge claiming her, she sprang forward and threw her arms around him for a hard hug. “You have no idea how much that just helped me.”

“Oh, uh…yeah.” He patted her back awkwardly. “You’re welcome.”

He smelled good. Tess took a moment to inhale his spicy male scent. For some reason, it reminded her of Jonah. He had his own unique aroma, and the thought of possibly never smelling it again made her nearly sick to her stomach with anguish. It didn’t even matter that she shouldn’t want to smell him again. He had used and hurt her. But, God, just one more sniff would be—

No. No, she wasn’t going to go there. Returning her attention to Logan, she pulled away to give him a watery smile. “Paige is a lucky girl to have such a wise man.”

Logan shook his head. “Actually, it’s the other way around. I’m lucky to have her. I’m lucky she gave me a chance when she had no reason to whatsoever. Her forgiveness and acceptance saved me in ways you can’t even imagine.”

Tess nodded. “I think I understand. I’ll definitely think about that.” Then she blew out a breath and returned to her side of the bench. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk so much.”

With a soft chuckle, Logan sent her an amused sidelong glance. “Ditto.”

Logan escorted Tess back to Grammar Hall. They walked in silence until she unlocked the front door and pulled it open. The stairs Einstein used to hide under were the first thing to come into view.

Jonah used to chase him here and throw things at him, or least his group of bullies did. She shook her head, still unable to picture it. Jonah, a bully. It just didn’t fit. But neither did the reason why he’d gone along with her lie and acted the part of her amnesiac boyfriend. She’d completely bought into e

very smile, touch, and sweet thing he’d said to her.

Shivering, she brushed her hands up and down her arms and hurried up the steps to the second floor.

“Paige hates coming in this way, too,” Logan said. “I think she avoids it as much as possible and comes in the side and back entrances whenever she can.”

“There’re so many memories here,” Tess agreed. “I don’t know how she handles it.”

“She’s getting help.” Logan paused behind her when she stopped at her door. “And she’s working through it. I know what he did was awful, and he honestly tried to kill me.” He ran a hand over his chest where his bullet wound was still healing under the cloth. “But he stopped himself before hurting Paige. I think that’s what’s hardest for her to deal with. Somewhere in his deranged little head, he remained her friend. Even though I know she doesn’t want to, a part of her still feels bad for him and mourns him. It’s hard to accept truly evil people have any kind of good, redeemable qualities in them.”

“Or that good people have awful, unforgivable flaws,” Tess murmured, wondering which category Jonah belonged to. Was he bad with a little bit of good, or good with a little bit of bad?

“It’s easier when things are in stark black and white,” Logan said as she opened the door to her room to reveal his girlfriend was inside, trying to calm a frantic Bailey.

“Where the hell have you been?” Bailey stormed forward the grab Tess’s arm and haul her into their room. “It’s already after supper, and you didn’t answer any of the hundred and fifty text messages I sent you. Did you want to scare me half to death?”

Tess sighed while Logan went to Paige and drew her into his arms to murmur quietly into her ear. It was hard to watch them together. They had this connection, a connection she thought she’d formed with Jonah.

God, how could she have been so wrong?

Shoulders dragging and spirits drowning, she sent Bailey an apologetic wince. “I’m sorry,” was all she found the energy to say.

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