Page 65 of Fragile Touch (Fragile 1)
“You can’t even quit a normal job with one week’s notice!”
“It’s not uprooting, Lil,” he reminded her calmly. “It’s just for a little while until she finds a new trainer.”
Her sadness turned to anger and she stared at the wall, hoping it would cool her blood. “Sorry. I think that’s too short.”
“So do I. That’s probably why she offered to pay me so much.”
Makes sense, she thought. “Have you given her an answer yet?”
“Not yet. I told her I would call her back in the morning.”
“So you’re going.”
“I think I’ll go, yeah. But I’m going to make sure I come back as soon as I can. If you could take off work and come with me, I’d bring you in a heartbeat.”
“My clients need me here, or I would. They depend on me.” She mentally listed reasons she shouldn’t go, all of which involved her clients and the cats.
“I wanted to wait and talk to you about it when things got back to normal. I guess after Andrew left.”
“I thought things were getting back to normal,” she muttered. When it rains, it pours.
“They are, and they will be. Think of it as a business trip. And I promise I won’t even ask you to trim the stray leaves off my box bushes.” He winked and her anger subsided, but the thought that next week she wouldn’t have Cayden around every day brought the dark sadness back.
“Let’s go to sleep,” she said. It wasn’t a question. “I’ll need every night with you I can get.”
Cayden stood quickly, offering his hand as
she stood. She took half a step forward before he swept her off her feet and carried her to the bedroom.
They were both almost asleep when his voice nudged her awake again. “I don’t know how long I’ll be able to stand being away from you,” he breathed into her ear as he hugged her from behind.
“I want you to have fun, but not without me.” She was so tired she hardly knew what words were coming from her mouth, but it made Cayden do the soft laugh that melted the hard part of her heart.
“I want that, too, Lil.” He kissed her again. They didn’t say anymore and eventually fell asleep.
Chapter 12
The quietness didn’t have the same allure it used to.
It was hard to believe that every day was like this before Cayden moved in. She also couldn’t believe that she was so...alone every day. And she had always been fine with it, life with just the cats and no one else.
Cayden had disrupted her entire concept of serenity.
Since he left for Los Angeles, her yard seemed to have picked up its growth rate by double. His was still fine, as he had hired someone to mow it every week and do some light trimming. Lillian had told him not to worry about her yard. She wanted to let it grow at its own pace for a little while. But as the plants and grass got longer and unrulier, the difference between his yard and hers seemed symbolic.
At first, she pretended she enjoyed having space to herself again, but that only lasted for a couple of days. It surprised her. She thought she would be fine alone for at least two or three weeks before she started really missing him. It was the opposite: she couldn’t adjust. She couldn’t acclimate to life without him. And every day when he called and told her about the glamorous, sunny life in L.A. and the fame around every corner, a little part of her chipped away.
It had been almost two months, and he hadn’t been back once.
She was scared to bring it up lest she be disappointed. She could hear it in her head: “Janine wants to hire me for the next few months. She can’t find a trainer good enough for her yet.” Or, “I met the owners of a gym here. They offered me a job.” He hadn’t said either of these things, but her mind kept wandering to these dark corners of potential scenarios.
What he really said: “She’s not in a rush, but I’m trying to put some pressure on her. The money is really good, Lil. We’re going to be able to take a big trip with each other when I come back. Be thinking where you want to go. I’m going to come back soon. We’re going to see each other.”
Lillian knew one thing for sure: she wasn’t into this long-distance relationship thing. And as much as taking a big trip with Cayden appealed to her, she couldn’t ignore the pain of him being away. It wasn’t even about her; it was about how he was having so much fun. She knew his scene, and she knew there would be more models and celebrities who found their way to him. People who were strong and healthy and toned just like him.
Every morning, she looked in the mirror at her naked body and smiled at the memory of him touching her skin. Their bodies entwining. His arms on her waist. That musky smell protecting them from the world. Then the smile faded when she realized how different she was from the people he enjoyed being around. The women in his circle, mostly.
She knew she shouldn’t think it, but she did anyway. I’m not what’s best for him.
