Page 43 of Without a Doubt

“Pretty soon he's going to ask you to move in,” Catherine says when I walk up to her.

I laugh. “He is not. I do have other news though.”

“Oh, what juicy details do you have for me?” Catherine perks up as we walk over to the vending machine for something to drink.

“He told me about Kelly. She's apparently called him twice within the last two weeks, one of those being in the middle of the night last night.” Her eyes widen as she glances at me before feeding a dollar into the machine. “He told me the entire story, what they talked about, and he let me ask any questions I wanted.”

“And? What now?” Catherine steps aside for me to get a drink.

“I don't know really. He says if she called and asked to get back together, which she didn't do, he would tell her he didn't want to. He said he doesn't want to let me go.” I crack open my Gatorade and wait to see what she thinks.

“So, what happens if she calls again? Is he going to talk to her? Are you comfortable with that?”

I shift my weight from foot to foot as I take a sip of my red drink. “She knows he's seeing someone, so I don't know if she'll call again if her end game is getting back together with him.” I sigh. “I think he'll talk to her because he wants closure for how their relationship ended. She didn't give him that when she asked for this stupid break.” A stupid break I'm thankful for because it led him to me. “And of course I'm not comfortable with it, but I won't ask him to not talk to her. I trust him to be honest with me. The person I don't think I trust anymore is Glen.”

Catherine gasps, intentionally being overly dramatic. “You are full of drama today! What happened with Glen?”

“He stopped by Sunday when I was working. I asked him if something new happened with Kelly because he seemed weird when Emerson came up in conversation. He told me he hadn't heard of anything new. I haven't asked him yet, but I think he lied to me.” We start walking into the classroom, so I lower my voice. “I had sex with Emerson after that. Not that I regret it, but I know I would have held off longer had Glen told me Emerson talked to her. I just...don't like being lied to and knowing certain outcomes would be different had I known the truth.”

“Do you really think Glen would be more loyal to Emerson than you?” Catherine asks as our instructor walks into the room.

I shrug because I don't know. I wouldn't think so, but now I doubt it. Before our instructor begins, I send a text to Glen asking if he could meet me for lunch. His response is quick, even though I know he's in class right now.

Glen: Sure thing.

For the first time ever, I'm nervous about seeing my own cousin. All I can think about during class is what am I going to do if Glen lied to me? I'm wound up so tight after class that I decide I don't want to wait until lunch. I call him the moment I make it back to my dorm.

“What's up, Eva?”

“Did you know she called him?” I blurt out. Glen doesn't say anything for ten seconds. “Glen! I'm your cousin! I come first!”

“Eva, calm down a damn second. You do come first.”

“Then why didn't you tell me when I asked? You lied,” I interrupt. God, I can't believe him.

“Emerson did tell me, okay? I lied, but I had good reasons. Don't you think I grilled him about the phone call? If I didn't believe what Emerson told me, which I'm assuming is the same as whatever he's told you now, then I would've told you. It was one quick phone call. You've been as concerned as I have since you started seeing him. Why would I want to get you all worried when it was practically nothing?”

“Because one phone call turned into two!” I snap.

“What?” Glen asks surprised.

Quickly, I fill him in on what happened and how Emerson came to tell me. “I could have been prepared. I can't believe you would choose him over me.”

“I didn't! I've been looking out for you, Eva, and I made my decision based on what I thought was best for you.”

“You still lied.”

“About something you weren't even supposed to know about!” he shouts, fully frustrated with me now.

Ugh, I hate when he has a point. “I have to go.” I hang up without another word.

I don't understand Glen's reasoning over not telling me. Would it have been different had I not directly asked him? Would I be so upset if I hadn't slept with Emerson the very same day he lied? I think that's what's bothering me the most. Sex is a big deal for me. I want to feel comfortable with the person. I want to feel somewhat sure about where things are going. And I kind of feel like my process was screwed with in making that next big step. I don't regret it, I really don't, but I wish I had known.

Maybe it's better that I didn't.

ALL WEEK I'VE been paying close attention to everything involving Eva. I feel like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, waiting to see if she's going to push me off or drag me back to safety. So far, everything seems pretty normal. Kelly hasn't called again. Eva hasn't asked about her. Life almost feels normal. The normal where the situation with Kelly is back to being a chip on my shoulder while I date someone other than her. Eva, in this case.

Today is Football Sunday, and I plan to forget about everything but football, Eva, and my friends. Everyone is already here except Glen.

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