Page 46 of Valor on the Move
“Holy shit, they do.” The sheer humiliation was acid on his tongue. “Do you all sit around talking about me? Laughing about how stupid I am to think it was a secret? About how hard I tried to pretend? It must be hilarious.”
“No!” Chris shook his head earnestly. “I swear to God we’ve never talked about it. It was only one time with me and Dad. It was late, and he’d had a few drinks.”
“When?” Rafa crossed his arms, his fingers digging into his sleeves.
“You were still in high school,” Chris admitted.
Nausea swelled, and Rafa thought he might vomit all over the pristine lawn. “He knew all this time? Mom did too, didn’t she?”
“I don’t think much gets by her, Raf. But we’ve never talked about it. I haven’t with Ade or Matty either. But I think they probably have their suspicions.”
“God, I’m such an idiot.” He wished the South Lawn would open up and swallow him whole. “What…what did Dad say?”
“I don’t know. It was a long time ago. It doesn’t matter now.”
“Of course it matters!” Then it hit him, and he actually staggered back. “The bill. That bullshit traditional marriage bill that he supported.”
Chris winced. “I know. That was awful.”
“He suspected then that I was gay. He knew, and he didn’t care. He still did it. He still made me get up there in front of the world and smile while he shit all over gay people’s rights.” A sob choked him, cracking his voice. “He knew.”
“Not for sure. Raf, it doesn’t mean anything. You know he loves you.”
“It means everything,” Rafa whispered. “That was me he was fighting against. My rights.”
Chris took Rafa’s shoulders. “We all love you. Please believe me,” he implored. “I—”
A female staffer called from the portico, “Boys! It’s time for cake. We need you inside, please.”
“Time to smile for the cameras.” Rafa shook off his brother and turned back before Chris could say more. At the bottom of the stairs, Rafa paused. Chris stopped, but he waved him on. “I need a second.”
Nodding, Chris mounted the curving staircase. Rafa watched him go, concentrating on breathing in and out. As Chris disappeared inside with his detail, Rafa forced his feet to move. At the top of the stairs, he met Shane’s intense gaze.
“Okay?” Shane asked quietly.
Rafa’s heart skipped. God, how he wanted to throw himself into Shane’s arms and block out the rest of the world. Wanted to tell Shane everything, and hear what he thought about it and get his advice. From the corner of his eye, he saw Alan stop and glance back from the door. Rafa jerked his head in a nod, his eyes stinging, and hurried inside.
As Celine led them all in a rousing rendition of “Happy Birthday” and his parents beamed, Rafa stood beside his family and smiled while his soul burned.
Chapter Twelve
“What was that?” Alan asked as they made their way around the West Wing to where their G-ride was parked.
“What?” Shane said, as if he didn’t damn well know. Rafa’s face filled his mind—his eyes luminous with hurt that Shane wanted to take away. Maybe it was fucked up to want to take care of him, but he did. He wanted to hold Rafa in his arms. He wanted to find out what was wrong so he could make whoever was responsible suffer. He wanted to make Rafa smile again.
Alan cocked an eyebrow. “Asking Valor a personal question. You know we’re not supposed to get involved.”
“I didn’t get involved. Obviously he was upset. It was nothing.”
“Look, he’s a nice kid, but you know it’s not the job to get caught up in his drama. You can’t get too close.”
Shane rounded on Alan, who jerked to a stop. “Are you accusing me of something?”
Alan opened and closed his mouth. “Of course not. Jesus. Don’t get bent out of shape.”
As Shane pressed the button to unlock the vehicle with a beep-beep, he bit the inside of his cheek. “I asked one question. It won’t happen again.”
Alan sighed. “I’m not trying to bust your balls, man. But you know they’ll yank you off the detail in a heartbeat if they think you’re getting too friendly with the protectee. Since I came back, it feels like there’s a weird tension between you two.”
He was completely right, and all Shane could do was nod. “It won’t be an issue.”
Alan stalked around to the other side and climbed into the Suburban. “Great.”
As they left the White House, Shane gripped the wheel. He blew out a long breath as he pulled up to a red light. “Sorry. I know you’re not trying to be a dick. And you’re right. So thanks for saying it.”
Laughing, Alan shook his head. “Nope, definitely not trying to be a dick, but I guess I succeed despite myself sometimes.”
Shane laughed too, the tension dissipating. “No, I’m the dick here. It won’t happen again. Like I said—not an issue.”
