Page 75 of The Holiday Ex-Files

He chuckled. “Good thing I have four-wheel drive and have been driving in the snow since I was fifteen. Besides, I’ll already be up there. I’m switching out some of Annika’s light fixtures for her.”

Sure, he was “switching out light fixtures.”

“Is that what people are calling it these days?”

“What?”

“Never mind. I don’t want to put you out.”

“Are you kidding me? You’ve done so much for me and my family. I’ll see you at six. Oh, and I’m bringing Luna. She can’t wait to meet Neville.” He hung up before I could object.

Great. Now I had hours to overthink this and argue with Sparkles about what this all meant. All while thinking about what he was doing at Annika’s. Which was none of my business. I guarantee, though, some of those light fixtures were in her bedroom. And not to be catty, but it’s not that hard to switch them out on your own. She was capable. I shouldn’t be like that. Annika was a wonderful person.

I set my laptop to the side and picked up Neville. “Hey, buddy, if you could do me a favor tonight and run and hide from Luna, I would really appreciate it. You don’t need to show off in front of your pal Noah. I don’t need to be proved wrong about anything else. You got it?”

He gave me a look that said he might pee a little when Noah got here.

Traitor.

~*~

I found myself getting ready like this was a date, which I knew it wasn’t. For crying out loud, he was coming straight from Annika’s. I truly did wonder if she was okay with us being friends. Did she really think I made Noah a better person? He was pretty great all by himself. You know, except for his weird obsession with dating women and doing photo shoots with them. I had to believe, though, that Annika would not appreciate some of the thoughts I’d had about him. Or the way I had ogled that picture of him in his swim trunks, especially after I cropped out his latest goddess divine. I’d even had the thought of adding myself to that photo, right up next to him with my hand on his perfectly hairy chest.

I had to stop this.

Yet, I still put on an off-the-shoulder black tunic and jeans that hugged me in all the right places. I wasn’t proud of it. I just couldn’t get over the way I’d felt in his arms while we’d danced. Almost like I had come home. But I knew that was wrong. He wanted to make a life and home with Annika. And who I was, I didn’t know. And if I didn’t know who I was, how could I even contemplate being with someone? I knew the sparkly part of me would say that the real me was just trapped inside, but the fact was, we both existed, for better or for worse.

Worse, she gave her two cents.

Maybe she was right.

Or maybe I was cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. It was a toss-up.

Either way, I didn’t look half-bad. My hair had the perfect amount of bounce, and I had that natural makeup glow going for me. And it was starting to snow. There was something magical about the first snow of the season. I opened the curtains in my living room and admired the bits of heavenly-shaped ice softly landing on my balcony. I should have been working, but I was mesmerized by how quickly and beautifully the landscape could change. There was something hopeful about it. It felt like the holidays. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

Do you remember when the first of November meant it was fair game for all things holly and jolly? How everyone made fun of me for listening to Chris—

Not even Miss Sparkly could say the word. It wasn’t surprising. It was she who had taken the blow.

I want to. I miss me. Will I ever come back?

That was a good question. I was obviously still hanging on for a reason. Sparkles would have offed me by now if she didn’t need me.

You’re right. She sounded so ashamed.

I was ashamed. I used to be so strong. I felt so weak for not even being able to face the most wonderful time of the year.

My phone buzzed, bringing me out of my head. Something I was grateful for.

Mara: SOS. My mom has been reliving her glory days and making me watch old eighties music videos, the most disturbing of which is Olivia Newton-John’s “Let’s Get Physical.” Watch at your own risk. I’ve never seen so many gyrating Speedos in one room. But now we’re online, shopping for the workout outfits Olivia wore because everyone used to tell my mom she looked like her. What do I do? Help.

Of course I had to google the video first. Oh my. I’m pretty sure Olivia Newton John wasn’t talking about exercise when she sang “Let’s get physical.” The video was half-fascinating, half-disturbing, and probably the most eighties thing I had ever seen. However, I could see the resemblance between the singer and Kellie. Not sure, though, that she needed to revisit the white leotard and purple leggings. I mean, the white tennis outfit was cute.

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