Page 53 of The Holiday Ex-Files

Regardless, it gave ole Sparkles the shot of reality we both needed her to have. To ease her pain, I’d ordered the cutest pumpkin pillows from Pottery Barn. I even paid for overnight shipping. I had to admit, the cozy pillows in creams and browns made my little heart sing. I might have even slept with one last night. Neville was highly affronted I’d cuddled up to something other than him, but he was a traitor anyway. He was totally sucking up to Noah, sitting on his lap and wanting Noah to take him out. And get this, I think he likes How I Met Your Mother more than Beverly Hills, 90210. I’d turned on the latter show for him today before I’d left, and he’d barked until I changed it. Men.

The minutes ticked down until the store opened. I admit, I was antsy to get in there and do some damage to my debit card. I had extra cash to spend, as I had been doing a lot of photoshopping exes out. This was the start to my busy season that ran until the end of February. It seemed people were trying to move on before the holidays. Or, you wouldn’t believe the number of people who gave the cropped and edited photos to their exes, especially for Christmas and Valentine’s Day, or as I liked to call it: Happy Trivial Interpretation of Love Day. (Yes, that sounds totally bitter.) Those gifts were like next-level savage. Not to say I didn’t applaud such actions. I’m kind of jealous I hadn’t thought of it. But I guess posting my photoshopped wedding pictures online was like the gift that kept on giving to me, so I couldn’t complain.

At five after the hour, my mom pulled up in her cherry-red 1966 Mustang that my father had restored for her as a birthday gift last year. Seriously, my parents were too cute. They made marriage look like a dream. Even though I knew Mom would say it was no fairy tale. She still complained about my dad leaving the toilet seat up and plucking his nose hairs in front of her in the bathroom. Believe me, I didn’t need to know that. But there was something to be said for being so comfortable around someone, you could shove tweezers up your nose and you knew they would still love you. That was true love right there.

Mom flitted out of her car wearing her Hello Pumpkin sweatshirt and a cute pair of mom jeans. Her hair was tied up in an orange bow. She was, in a word, adorable. I always thought I would grow up to be like her. Maybe there was still time; you know, minus the adoring husband and children.

I grabbed my stomach. Was I ever going to get over that loss?

I didn’t know, but I put on a smile anyway and got out of the car.

Mom rushed to my side. “Sorry I’m late, I wanted to make a few freezer meals for Shanna and I couldn’t find my big cooler to put them in.”

See, I told you we should have made some.

Hey, I’m decorating her porch.

Miss Sparkly was still trying to boss me around. And she was right, I should have made some freezer meals.

“That’s really nice of you, Mom. I know she’ll appreciate it.”

“I just hope a dozen is enough,” she sighed.

I wrapped my arms around my cute mom. “Mom, you are the best.”

She clung to me. “Don’t make me cry. I’m already flummoxed that we’re going to the holy land today.” She was referring to Hobby Lobby.

“Just remember, you promised no holly jolly aisles or talk of the C-word.” I had to scratch my neck.

Mom pulled away from me with a knitted brow. “Against my better judgment, I promise.”

“Thank you—”

“But . . .” She pointed at my chest. “I just have to say, you will never be you without the song of Christmas in your heart.” She sounded like Dolly Parton, minus the southern accent, in one of her TV C-word specials.

I tried my best not to cringe when Mom said the word that had become my kryptonite. I tried even harder not to believe her. I failed at both. “I’m trying my best right now.” It’s all I had to offer.

She patted my cheek with her cold hand. “I know, baby girl. You’ll get there.”

I didn’t verbally disagree with her.

She looped arms with me. “We’re off to see the Wizard,” she sang.

We followed the yellow brick road all the way to Oz. When we walked in, it was like everything went from black and white to technicolor. There were no munchkins to greet us, but Dorothy was right, there was no place like home. I stood still and looked around the holy land filled with all my favorite things: fall pillows, scarecrows, pumpkins in all colors and shapes and sizes, cutesy Halloween signs, and fake sunflowers as far as the eye could see. I had come home. I breathed in the scent of candles and potpourri. My heart sang a little. Not a full chorus, but a few lines.

---