Page 52 of Make Me Sin (Bad Habit 2)
“Shipwrecked Soul.”
His voice is quiet when he speaks, quiet yet intense, and his eyes are intense, too.
My throat constricts. I’ll never understand him, or this thing between us. It’s obvious he wants me, just as obvious that he doesn’t want to want me. His ambivalence is a big, fat slap in the face, and suddenly I feel shipwrecked.
What am I doing? This is foolish. I’m a fool.
I don’t want to be a fool.
“Is there anything else I need to do?” I ask AINE, my eyes lowered. I can’t look at anyone right now. I’m feeling a little too raw.
She says, “Nothing. It’s a perfect fit. You can have this sample for a discount if you’d like, or I can order a new one that hasn’t been worn.”
“This one is fine,” I whisper. As I’m practically broke, I’m grateful for a discount. I’ll have to put it on my credit card and pay it off over the next several months. Hopefully by the wedding date. I hustle into th
e dressing room and change.
After a few minutes, there’s a hesitant knock on my door. “Lo? You okay?”
I’m finished changing, so I open the door, avoiding Kat’s eyes. “I’m fine. I just need to get back to work.”
I try to brush past her, but she blocks my way, standing in front of me with crossed arms. “Yeah. I call bullshit. It’s A.J., isn’t it? Spill.”
I close my eyes, drag my hands through my hair, and sigh. “It’s A.J.”
“I didn’t know he was coming, I promise. And I haven’t said anything to Nico, either, so you don’t have to worry about that. He thinks you two still hate each other.” She pauses. “Although if you keep staring at each other the way you do, he’s bound to figure it out.”
“That’s just it. There’s nothing to figure out. He might as well hate me for all the good it’s doing me.”
“Meaning?”
“Look . . . it doesn’t matter. There’s nothing going on between us, and he’s made it clear there never will be—”
“Why? What did he say?”
I fiddle with the buttons on my shirt. “Let’s just say he made no bones about the fact that he’d rather lose a limb than sleep with me.”
She snorts. “And you believed him?”
“No, I didn’t! Which is even worse! He’s either the biggest liar in the world or he’s totally screwed up in his head! What am I supposed to do with that?”
She says softly, “I don’t know. What do you want to do with that?”
I put my face into my hands, and groan. “I don’t do complicated. You know this about me, Kat. I hate complicated.”
“So make it simple, then.”
I lift my head and stare at her. “You mind telling me how?”
“Just lay it on the line, straight out. ‘I dig you. Do you dig me, yes or no? If yes, get naked right now. If no, go fuck yourself.’ End of story.”
“Tch. If only life were so easy.”
She grins. “I know I’m oversimplifying.”
“Gee, you think?”
“But the basic premise still stands. If you want to put yourself out of your misery, just talk to him. Tell him what you want.” She cocks her head. “But first you have to know what you want. Do you?”
