Page 118 of Saving Tatum (Trace + Olivia 4)

Jude stood beside me and took my hand in a show of solidarity. He wasn’t going anywhere, no matter what was said.

My dad nodded slowly, as if he was agreeing with his thoughts. He brought his head up and his eyes connected with my own. He took a deep breath before speaking. “I…I…” He seemed at a loss for words. “My anger has always been an issue for me, from the time I was a boy. I had good days, and bad days…very bad days,” he added, his voice dropping low. I was surprised by how calm he sounded, compared to all the yelling we’d done earlier. “Your brother’s letter…God, I can’t even tell you what I felt reading that.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “It was a much-needed wake up call, I can tell you that much. I need help,” he whispered, his eyes lowering. “I’m going to get help,” he added with surety. He turned his head towards my mom. “I’m going to see what I can do for her too.” Scratching his jaw, he said, “I don’t really know what to say to you, Tate, except I’m sorry and I know that will never be good enough. Not for what happened with Graham, or what I’ve done to you, but I hope one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

My mouth fell open in shock. Was this a dream? He was going to try to get help?

“Wow, um…”

“You don’t need to say anything,” he shrugged, cutting me off. “I just wanted you to know. I already found a place, while I was on my computer, and I’m going to be checking in there tonight. It’s sort of like rehab, but for people like me.” He turned to leave and then stopped, turning back. His eyes grew sad. “I know you don’t want to hear this, and hell, you might not even believe me, but I love you.”

With that, he walked out of the room and back to his office.

“Tate?” Jude said my name softly.

I looked up at him with wide eyes. “Did that really just happen?”

“It really did,” he assured me.

“Maybe…maybe things will get better now?” I meant it as a statement, but it came out sounding like a question. I looked up at him with pleading eyes. I felt like a small child, needing someone to reassure me.

“Maybe.” But the tone of his voice said that he didn’t think so.

I had to hold on to hope, because somewhere inside me was a small little girl desperate to have her mom and dad back. I had to believe it would all be okay.

Chapter Twenty Five

The next week went by faster than I thought possible.

I stood in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection.

I’d waited my whole life for this one moment.

The moment I’d stride across the stage, grab my diploma, and become a college graduate.

From this moment on, I was out in the real world.

There was no more messing around.

This was the first day of the rest of my life.

I reached up and adjusted the black cap so that it sat straight on top of my head. I took a deep, steadying breath.

“You did it, Tate,” I said to my reflection, forcing a smile.

Despite my excitement for graduation I also felt an overwhelming sadness.

An

ytime I’d pictured this day, my mom, dad, and brother were there in the audience cheering me on.

No one would be there for me today.

My mom was currently off somewhere getting counseling—I doubted it would help though.

My dad was in anger management.

And my brother was dead.

I was all alone in this world.

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