Page 74 of Beneath the Stars (Sugarlake 1)

I pull on the ends of my hair. “You deserve better than me.”

“I don’t want better.”

“I want better for you.”

“I’m a big girl, Chase. I can decide for myself what and who I want.”

My stomach’s tight, my anxiety threatening to choke me. I don’t want another woman’s hurt on my conscience, but she’s not getting the picture. “Marissa, be serious. You’re pushing me for things I’ve told you time and time again I’m not ready to give.”

“You are giving me what I need.” She rests her hand on my chest. “I know you feel what’s between us, Chase.”

My jaw clenches to keep the harsh truth from spilling out. I don’t feel it. Maybe in another life—if Goldi didn’t exist, then the comfortable warmth Marissa provides would be enough. But it’s hard to appreciate warmth when you’ve been consumed by fire.

I grab her hand off my chest. “I care about you. But you deserve someone who’s able to give you everything. That man’s not me.”

“That man’s not you.” She repeats my words, her eyes shuttering. “Is this about that girl?”

My heart pounds. Fuck. “What girl?”

“That Leah girl you ditched me for this weekend.”

“Alina.” My response is automatic. I cringe, knowing I just made things worse.

She laughs, backing up a step. “Unbelievable. I tried to look past it when you left for hours and then didn’t want to touch me. I forgave you when you came home at on

e in the morning with a look on your face you’ve never given me.”

It’s a struggle not to show the guilt on my face. She really knows how to paint the picture of an asshole.

“Did you fuck her?”

“Excuse me?”

“Did. You. Fuck. Her?”

“No.” But I wanted to.

“I don’t believe you.” She crosses her arms over her chest.

“I may be an asshole, but I’m not a cheat... and this isn’t about her. It’s about me not being able to give you what you want.”

She explodes. “All I want is you!”

I blow out a breath. “I’m trying not to hurt you.”

“Well, you’re doing a shit job.”

“What would you have me do, Marissa? Continue to play house with you? Let you uproot your life and move in with me when I know damn well I won’t ever love you?” The words barrel out of me.

She freezes in place. Shit. I didn’t mean to say that last part out loud. Her eyes become glossy and she stiffens her shoulders. “Get out.”

I sigh. “You’ll see this is what’s best in the long run, Marissa.”

“Get. Out!” she screams. She takes off her shoe and throws it, narrowly missing me as it crashes against the door. Jesus.

I want to convince her this is what’s best for both of us, but it’s clear she doesn’t want to hear any more of my words. So I leave. I hope in time she realizes this is what needed to happen. I’m not sad over the end of our relationship. All I can feel is relief.

I head straight to my therapy appointment with Doc, pulling him in for a hug he doesn’t return. Stingy fucker. “Damn, Doc. It’s good to see you.” I pull back, smirking at him before making myself comfortable on his couch.

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