Page 49 of Falling for His Best Friend

‘You can do this, Kitty.’

‘You’re almost there.’

Cam stood on one side of her, Jess sat on the other. Jess wasn’t strong enough to stand throughout the delivery but Kitty was relieved that she was going to be able to hold her baby. She’d been determined to make that happen for Jess, and the pain she was experiencing was a small price to pay for her sister’s happiness.

Kitty knew that Joe was waiting outside the door. Cam had called him when she’d gone into labour. He’d wanted to know and Kitty was happy for him to be told, but she didn’t want him in the delivery room. She needed her energy to focus on the people who were truly invested in this.

‘All right, Kitty, push. That’s it,’ the obstetrician instructed as another contraction gripped her abdomen. She felt as though she was being crushed like a car at the wrecker’s yard but she pushed with everything she had. The sooner she delivered this baby the sooner she’d get to rest. ‘OK, hold it there.’

Kitty stopped pushing and panted. Jess was talking to her but Kitty couldn’t really understand what she was saying. She was tired and sore and all her focus was concentrated below her waist, which didn’t leave any room in her head for conversation.

‘Nearly there, Kitty. One last time. Push.’

Kitty squeezed Jess and Cam’s hands tight and, leaning forward, she pushed hard. She felt the release as she pushed the baby out of her body and she breathed out as she heard the newborn cries.

‘Congratulations, everyone,’ said the obstetrician, ‘you have a healthy baby girl.’

Kitty watched in almost a dream-like trance as the baby was passed to her. The midwife loosened Kitty’s gown at the neck so that she could rest on Kitty’s chest, skin to skin, and the baby quietened as soon as she felt that contact.

Jess reached out and slid her finger into the palm of the baby’s hand and smiled.

‘Cameron, are you going to cut the cord?’ the midwife asked as she clamped the cord and handed Cam the scissors.

Cam did the honours and the midwife took the baby and swaddled her before handing her to Jess.

They were a family.

A family Kitty had helped them to create. An achievement that should make her proud and happy but there was underlying sadness too. She felt the loss immediately but tried to smile and say all the right things as she watched Jess and Cam cuddle her baby.

No, not her baby. Their daughter. Eliza Kate. The baby was being named for Jess’s two sisters—Eliza and Kitty—but she would be Lizzie for short.

Kitty had given them this gift—a family of their own—but she wasn’t quite ready to let go. It was much harder than she’d imagined. And she didn’t want to let go. Of anyone. Not of Lizzie, and not of Jess.

And what about Joe?

Joe had given her space, time to spend with Jess, but she missed him. He’d checked on her, called her, told her he was there for her, but she missed him physically. Her body missed him. She appreciated that he was offering emotional support but she wanted more now. She wanted everything, but she knew he couldn’t give her that. She knew their relationship was changing—had changed. She’d understood it would have a use-by date, that was how Joe operated. She just didn’t know if she was prepared for that. He was her best friend, her lover, but he couldn’t—or wouldn’t—be her partner, and she knew eventually she’d have to let him go. Or that he would leave.

She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. She couldn’t think about Joe right now. Lizzie and Jess needed her.

* * *

Joe was worried about Kitty. He’d visited her in hospital every day since she’d given birth and he knew something wasn’t right. Jess had been with Kitty almost every time Joe had visited and despite the fact that Jess was terminally ill and looked tired and frail, she at least looked happy. Kitty did not.

He’d known she would find the first few days post-partum difficult. He knew she would miss being pregnant, would miss being the mother of her baby, and he was worried that, in a way, she would perceive it as yet another loss. He’d seen the sadness in the depths of her dark eyes and he wanted to eradicate it, but he was having difficulty finding the right words. He wanted to be there for her, to offer his unwavering support, as he always had. He wanted to put a smile on her face, to promise her that her future would be bright and happy and everything she dreamed of, but the words kept getting stuck in his throat.

He knocked quietly on the open door of her room, not wanting to disturb her if she was sleeping, but she was awake. She was feeding the baby, watching her as she suckled, and she didn’t hear him come into the room. She looked so peaceful. Joe was taken aback. He hadn’t thought about what would happen after the baby was born. He’d assumed the baby would be bottle fed, but once he’d got over his surprise he had to admit to himself that he liked to see Kitty mothering the baby.

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