Page 41 of Promise Me Love

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There was no sign of David when she left the bathroom. Slipping on black trousers and a white cotton shirt, Beth went downstairs, aware of the silence in the house. She paused at the bottom of the staircase then made her way along the dark hall to the kitchen, smiling with a determined brightness when she found Maggie in there sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in one hand and a plump red-haired baby cradled on her lap. She looked up when she heard the door opening, smiling warmly when she saw Beth.

‘I hope you didn’t think you had to get up, Beth. You could have stayed in bed as long as you wanted to.’

Beth sat down at the table, reaching out to touch the baby’s hand with a wistful smile. ‘I didn’t want to lie there any longer. I had more sleep last night than I’ve had in weeks. You must think me awfully rude for missing dinner last night.’

‘Not at all. You obviously needed the rest.’ Maggie skimmed an assessing look over her face, her green eyes darkening in faint concern. ‘You still look a bit pale. Are you sure you aren’t trying to overdo things, Beth?’

Beth shrugged, wishing she could confide in Maggie and tell her the truth of what ailed her, but, remembering David’s warnings, she knew she couldn’t do that. Once she’d recovered her strength she would have to start thinking about her future, working out if she could carry on with this strange marriage under the terms David had laid down. If she couldn’t then she would have to make a decision to end it there and then, but it wasn’t going to be a simple decision to make. David had come to mean so much to her; leaving him would be agonisingly painful.

‘Beth?’

She jumped when Maggie spoke, realising that the other woman was still waiting for an answer. ‘Sorry. I was miles away. I expect I am being a bit impatient, but I hate sitting around as though I’m an invalid. I feel fine most of the time.’ She glanced at the baby, pain flashing briefly in her eyes. ‘It hurts, of course. It’s bound to. But physically I shall be right as rain in a week or so. It’s just a question of learning to pace myself.’

‘And that’s the hardest thing to learn!’ Maggie stood up and placed the baby on Beth’s knee with a gentle smile before turning to pick up the coffee-pot and pour her a cup. She carried it back to the table, setting it down in front of her, her face filled with understanding. ‘I know it must be hard for you, Beth, trying to come to terms with your loss. I keep trying to imagine what it must be like.’ She shuddered, running a loving hand over the baby’s downy head. ‘Thank God you’ve got David to lean on. We’re both lucky in that respect, having such strong men behind us. If it had happened to me the first time, when I had Janey when Matthew wasn’t around, I don’t know how I would have coped.’

Beth smiled sadly, snuggling the warm little body close, aching inside for what she’d lost. ‘You would have, Maggie. The strength to go on comes from deep inside. It’s there waiting to be tapped even though we’re not aware of it most of the time. But when you said Matthew wasn’t around, what did you mean? Was he away somewhere?’

She asked the question unthinkingly, her thoughts turned inwards, trying to imagine what it would have been like to be holding her child like this in her arms. It was almost more than she could bear, to imagine that and then be forced to face the fact that it would never be. So lost in her own bitter thoughts was she that it startled her when she looked up and saw the pain on Maggie’s face. ‘What is it, Maggie? Have I said something to upset you?’

‘No. Of course not. I…I was just remembering, that’s all.’ Maggie sat down at the table, reaching out to take Elizabeth abruptly from Beth’s arms and hold her close as though she too needed comfort. ‘I tend to forget that you know so little about our family history, Beth.’ Her smile took any sting out of the words. ‘You see, Matthew and I were divorced a few years ago. He knew nothing about the child I was expecting. In fact, he knew nothing about Janey’s existence until she was almost three years old, and that is something I shall always regret and blame myself for. I should never have kept it a secret from him. He was her father and he had a right to know, no matter what our differences were!’

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