Page 53 of Summer of the Viking

She raised herself up on one elbow. ‘I made my choice. Discretion will be fine. And there will be no regrets. Life is far too short.’

‘Good.’ He traced the outline of her lips. ‘You were beyond imagining, Alwynn. Better than any dream, because you were you.’

He silently winced. His tongue was worse than useless.

She reached for her clothes with the air of a thoroughly satisfied woman. There was something completely sensuous in the way she dressed. His fingers itched to unwrap her again.

‘I’m not looking for for ever,’ she said as she straightened her hair. ‘There is no reason why anyone should know if we are discreet. No child will ever quicken in my womb.’

‘You would have been a good mother. I see how you look after Merri and everyone on the estate.’

She gave a small shrug. ‘I can’t help caring about them. I owe them my life. I gave a promise when I married Theodbald to look after Merri and keep her safe.’

Her easy acceptance of the end made his heart ache worse. He wished he wasn’t cursed. He wished he could give her his heart. He wished he didn’t have a vow to honour his dead friends and return home to tell of Girmir’s treachery. ‘Then we shall enjoy the time we have. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?’

‘I plan to.’ Alwynn withdrew her hand. Her heart was so full that she thought it would burst. What had happened between them was beyond imagining. But it was just physical and not about making a life together.

Valdar would go when the leaves turned and the autumn winds began to blow. He had another life. She knew that. She could be coolly practical about it. Why shouldn’t she experience a bit of happiness in the meantime? It wasn’t as if she was going to have a child from their coupling. There would be no evidence.

‘We will need to keep it a secret. If Lord Edwin discovers...’ A faint shiver ran down her spine. ‘He wants this estate and I can’t allow him to have it. Already he has turned some of the old tenants off the land he acquired. I took in those whom I could...’

‘Your secret is safe with me.’ He touched her cheek. Featherlight tingles went through her. She wanted to sink into him again, but she kept her body still. ‘Trust me. Please trust me.’

Alwynn’s heart turned. Valdar had probably played this game a thousand times before. He knew precisely what to do and the right words to ensure all was well. She didn’t have a clue, but she knew she had to protect her heart. When she was younger, she had given it too readily.

It shocked her that she was willing to play. But how could she give him up? Gode had been right. This summer she deserved a bit of happiness and joy.

‘I will. And you’re an excellent lover.’

A dimple flashed in his cheek and the warmth smouldered in his eyes. ‘I shall take that as a compliment.’

‘It was meant as one.’ She stretched and tried to be sophisticated about it. ‘It is about us now. The future has no meaning.’

His eyes grew storm-tossed. ‘And the past? There is something you should know...’

She put her fingers on his mouth. The last thing she wanted to know was that there was a woman waiting for him at home. That was the true meaning of her dream last night. ‘I live in the present, not the past.’

A wariness vanished from his eyes. ‘Agreed. The here and now is all we speak of.’

‘Shall we return before anyone starts looking for us? We will find other opportunities if we are clever.’

He gave a crooked smile and her heart did an odd little flip. Just looking at him made her feel as if she was special. ‘My thoughts exactly.’

‘I still intend to teach you to read and write. Then wherever you are in the world and you use that knowledge, you will think of me.’

‘You’re unforgettable, Alwynn.’

She matched her footsteps with his. Their shoulders were nearly touching. ‘That will give us an excuse.’

‘I have an added incentive.’ He dropped a kiss on her forehead. ‘I can now steal a kiss with impunity.’

‘As long as that is all you intend...’ She glanced over her shoulder.

His eyes grew serious. ‘I live in hope for more. What happened just now was beyond all reckoning, Alwynn. Truly.’

Her heart turned and she wished that there wasn’t going to be an ending, but she had to be realistic. Things like that only happened in bard’s tales. In real life, one had to be practical and pragmatic. One had to face up to hard choices.

Valdar had another life somewhere, a life which she had no part of. Come autumn he would return there and she’d be left with her memories.

What was between them was physical. It had to be. She could keep it that way. She had changed from the naive woman who ignored the facts, preferring only to see the beauty in the world.

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