Page 72 of Fractured Souls
I’m walking back now, afraid of what I’ll find when I get home. The purple-pink sky is cast in gray, and the air is heavy like it gets before it snows. Up ahead I see a familiar person. Amira. She’s in front of her building taping something up. My feet scuff on the pavement and she looks in my direction. Her plump lips split into a smile. “Oh hey, Cam, just in time. I need someone tall.”
I walk over to her. She’s not much shorter than I am, maybe a couple of inches, but I help her, grabbing the plastic and helping her tape it to the window. “What are you doing?”
“I’m painting the glass tomorrow. Just prepping now so I can get right into it. I need these spaces taped off.” I help her with the window, trying hard to ignore her attention on me. “So, why are you walking home this late in the middle of winter?”
“It’s not so bad out now.”
She smiles. “I’m not used to it. I lived in North Carolina before this, and it never got this cold at this time of year.
"Fall is winter. Spring is still winter. Summer is spring with a sprinkle of summer that’s either scorching hot or so humid you can’t breathe.”
“Sounds bleak.” She laughs.
“We get a slice of fall around October, but most of the time it’s just rainy and sad.” I finish helping her. “I'm fine. I just needed some air.”
“Been there.” She tucks her hands around her sides, hugging her body. “You look like you need a drink. I have some eggnog upstairs. I’ve never had it before, so I tried making some. It may be more rum than egg, but by the shadows in your eyes right now that might be a good thing.”
I think for a moment. I’m not ready to go home and face this yet. “You know what . . . sure.”
Chapter 19
Bo
“Stillnothing?”It’sbeenhours since Cam went on alittle walk. His phone was left in the car and I’m starting to get worried. I’m not sure what happened back at the gym, but I know something did. When Cam gets upset he gets quiet, and his eyes glaze. He’s an angry crier, and I could see the sheen of tears starting to build in his golden eyes.
“No, and I’m really getting worried. This isn’t like him.” Cam is six feet tall and two hundred plus pounds of muscle, but I’m still worried. He’s not a fighter. My worry only deepens with each hour. I’d called Noah because I was spiraling with worry. Let’s be real, this weekend was nice but that’s all it was. Fun to pass the time.
“Ugh, I hate it when they run from their shit.” Noah says. “Don’t look at me like that, Jamie. You have your moments and we both know it.”
I laugh at them bickering. “What if he is with someone?”
My mind goes back to Amira; she’s only a few blocks away.
“What happened?”
“I don’t know.” I haven’t told Noah this, and I don’t know why. “We um, we kind of hooked up.”
“What! When?” Noah shouts. “Details. Detailed details.”
“All weekend. We had an agreement that we’d stop thinking and just do what felt right, and apparently that meant eating my ass on top of my piano, as well as a lot of grinding, dry humping, and making out. Oh, and very thorough blow jobs from yours truly.”
“Annnd. . . What did he say when you told him you have feelings for him?” I’m quiet for a moment. I know what he’s doing. He already knows damn well. “Bobo?” he singsongs. “What. Did. He. Say?”
“I know, I know. I just couldn’t.” And I’m glad I didn’t. Clearly it wasn’t for him, and if I had admitted how I truly felt, then what? It’s too awkward. “Clearly he doesn’t want me, Noah. He’s regretting it. You didn’t see him.”
“Aw, sweetie. I’m so sorry.” I’m just grateful I have Noah to talk to. It makes this easier. If I didn’t have him, processing this all alone would be hell.
“I need to realize this is never going to happen.” And now what? Do I want to spend my life alone? In the shadow of the happiness I know Cam will eventually find.
This time I know what he feels like, tastes like, what he looks like naked. I know the way he moans so deeply when he comes. I know that his goofiness extends to the bedroom, making what we’ve done this weekend so much more fun. I know how easy it was with him, how he eased my mind and how he made me feel during the entire thing. That may be the worst of it all. I got a small taste of what my life could look like with the person I love more than anything.
“Well, we’re having a get together next weekend. Hunter’s hot bestie is coming. He’s going through a lot and we’re trying to keep his mind off things. Best part is, he’s single.”
“I don’t know, Noah.”
“His name is Sawyer and he’s gorgeous.”
“Oh yeah? What does he look like?” Not that it matters. He could be the most gorgeous man in the world and I doubt I’d be interested.
