Page 55 of Due Dilligence (Takeover)
Todd shook his head and pushed himself off the door. “You can be such a butthead.” Affection in that tone.
He frowned at his reflection and finished. He still couldn’t put his finger on what Todd meant.
“All done,” he said.
Todd had laid out clothing on the bed. “I won’t be long. Coffee’s in the kitchen.” And with that, he vanished into the bathroom.
Fazil chewed on his lip, and got dressed. Jeans and a t-shirt. Typical June fare, but it might not be enough up into the mountains. He mentally added a jacket or hoodie to the list of things he might need, then ventured out into the kitchen.
Why was shaving hot? He couldn’tshakethat question. “Shit.” Just like Todd to plant something in his head that made no sense. No answer in the coffee, either, though that was good enough that he closed his eyes and grunted appreciatively.
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Todd said. He was toweling off his hair, and had on only a pair of low-slung blue jeans.
For a moment, Fazil couldn’t catch his breath. Such an unconscious act, so beautiful a man. Heat touched his body. “Oh.”
Todd laughed as if he could read his mind.
“I get it.” Fazil leaned against the counter. “But, you’re stunning. I’m...”
“Stunning, too,” Todd said. “You just hate that you are.”
Hewasn’t. It was hubris to think hewas. “I don’t know why it bothers me so much.”
“What, being loved?”
Fazil turned away and drank more coffee. Kris hadn’t loved him. That had never bothered him, since he’d never spanned the gap betweenlike a lotandloveeither. He’d made that leap with Todd years ago, but now? He still loved Todd, but what did that mean now that he wasn’t a teen? He was afraid to find out.
This weekend was wonderful. The sex was great. Being with Todd felt right and like home... but he’d fucked up so badly before.
Todd caressed his shoulders from behind. “Hey, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“You didn’t. I’m...” He’d always held back his feelings in high school, and that had been a mistake. He turned around. “I’m scared.” He waved his free hand. “It’s a lot. Seeing you again. Finding out I was such a shit. There’s the whole job thing.” His heart pounded in his throat. “I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt me.”
Todd rubbed Fazil’s shoulders. “You know you’re not alone in that, right?”
He looked into his mug, rather than at Todd.
“I’m scared, too. It’s a chance. A long shot. But you’rehereand I’d rather try to work something out than spend my life regretting the pastandthe present.”
“You have nothing to regret.” Most of the shit in their past had been his, not Todd’s.
A sad, distant look. “Yeah, I do.” Then Todd was back and so was his smile, even if it was slight. “Finish that mug, I’ll get a shirt, and we can go.”
Fazil nodded, and studied Todd’s back. What had happened after he’d left for college?
After he’d drained his coffee, he placed the mug into the sink. A moment later, Todd was back. “Ready?”
No. Not for how tangled up his mind and heart had become on a simple business trip. But he could at least eat breakfast. “Yeah. Let’s go.”
***
Fazil was still a bit off-kilter—that guarded expression, the way he folded into himself—but Todd let him be. He’d had been open about his emotions. That was new and good, even if it made things awkward.
Seemed like every time Todd opened his mouth, there was a seismic shift. Sometimes he drew Fazil in; other times, he pushed him away. Yes, he was afraid, but more for Fazil. He’d already survived hell. If this fell apart, he’d be fine.
Sad. Lonely, heartbroken—but fine.
Despite the shit Fazil had done, Todd only wanted him to be happy. He wasn’t sure Fazil ever was, outside of orgasms and the few moments Fazil stopped thinking so damn hard. Like when he shaved.
