Page 82 of Dawn of Chaos and Fury
I know I did this to us, and sometimes consequences are as lasting as our immortal lives. I won’t ask for your forgiveness, because that is indeed not something I am deserving of. But I will say again, I am sorry, Luka. I am sorry I betrayed you so deeply. I am sorry we found each other only for me to be less than what you needed and expected. I am sorry I took so much from you. Being the grandchild of a god is lonely, and I’m sorry to leave you alone.
But while I don’t know how to let myself be loved, I think I did learn how to love. How to give another freedom when it is what they desperately seek. How to sacrifice and hurt and bleed for another to allow them to live a life they deserve. It is all I have left to make amends with. While I know you have found your father and brother, I know that is not what you want. So I saved himfor you. Or I’m trying to. I will. We will save him for you. We will save him, and then we will leave so the Fates can hunt us elsewhere and maybe the two of you can find a way to bring peace to a broken realm. If anyone can do it, it will be the two of you. You deserve a life of freedom as much as I do.
Thank you for trying to love me. Thank you for giving me the chance to be loved by you. Thank you for believing I am deserving of so much more. I’m sorry it took me too long to figure it all out. I’m sorry I was too late. But I don’t regret our nights. Thank you for the time you did give me. Thank you for the training and the oranges and the flip-flops. I don’t know how to let myself be loved, but I know I love you. Differently from him and yet somehow the same. Thoroughly. Completely. Forever.
Eternally Yours
He still held that godsdamn feather, and he turned, racing back inside, all but leaping down the stairs.
“Razik? Blackheart? Xan? Who’s awake?” he yelled into the silence.
It shouldn’t have surprised him his father was the first to appear, everyone else a few seconds behind him. It alsoshouldn’t have surprised him Cienna was already in the kitchen, a cup of tea in her hands and violet eyes pinned on him.
“You already know,” Luka said tightly, holding her stare.
“I do now,” she answered.
He didn’t have time for her vague answers. He turned to the others, holding up the feather. “Is this what I think it is? A fucking seraph feather?”
“Where is Tessa?” Xan asked instead.
“Answer me!” Luka demanded.
Razik stalked forward, taking the feather from him and examining it before he said, “That’s what it looks like to me.” He lifted his eyes to Luka. “Is she gone? Did she go back to them?”
She’d left.
And he didn’t know if she’d willingly gone with them or not, but this sure as fuck looked like she had. Surely one of them would have heard a struggle. Been alerted to it. Her godsdamn wolves would have done something.
But he didn’t know what her plans were or what she was thinking because he’d pushed her away too much.
More than that, he knew this was a crossroads. His own version of salvation or destruction. She’d given him an out. Now he was left to decide if he was going to take it.
16
TESSA
Her bare feet sank into the soft ground on the river’s edge as she watched the black waters merge with the clear, sparkling blue. It was hypnotic in a way; the dark swirling with the light. The black waters weren’t murky like she thought they would be. They weren’t thick or foreboding. They were just as crisp and clear as the other water, and she found herself drawn to the midnight river more than the rest, taking a step closer.
“They say the Night Waters have been a part of Devram since its inception.”
She didn’t turn right away, but the smallest of smiles pulled at the corner of her mouth. She’d been waiting for him.
“I was hoping you would come tonight,” she said, her fingers twisting into the fabric of her dress.
“I will always come for you,” he replied, and she finally turned to find him with a smile of his own. Emerald eyes were pinned on her, his hands in the pockets of his suit pants.
“The gods made some waters black?” she asked, slowly facing the flowing rivers once more as he came to stand beside her.
Nodding to the rushing waters, he said, “This is the Fractured Springs, where the Night Waters merge with the River of Endings. But I don’t think a god did this.”
“You don’t think or you know?”
He huffed a laugh under his breath. “I believe the waters turn black when an Arius descendant has an outpouring of intense emotions. When they feel so utterly helpless and broken, that all they can do is pour out their despair and sorrow, altering the world around them.”
Her brow bunched in thought. “That doesn’t seem right,” she mused.
“Doesn’t it? Does the weather not change when you are sad? Does a storm not scream its wrath when you are angry?”
