Page 83 of Dawn of Chaos and Fury
She looked up at him, his attention fixed fully on her. She got a little lost in dark emerald eyes and black hair. In a small dimple and lips she’d kissed more times than she could count. Still he didn’t reach for her. Didn’t touch her.
Tessa cleared her throat. “So you think an Arius descendant turned the Night Waters into what they are?”
“It does stand to reason.”
“So logical,” she mocked with a sigh, turning back to the rivers. But when he didn’t speak right away, she glanced back, finding him still watching her. “What?”
“It has been some time since I have seen you so…calm.”
She sighed again, wrapping her arms around herself. “Can I tell you something?”
“Always.”
She hesitated though. Saying this aloud was admitting it more to herself than to him. But did it matter in her dreams? In a vision that may or may not ever happen?
“I’m tired,” she finally said, her voice scarcely more than a whisper.
He said nothing, knowing there was more. He always knew what she needed, but the patience… That was new.
“I’m tired of secrets. I’m tired of scheming. I think maybe I’m tired of trying to be the villain and the savior. I’m tired of hating you and missing you. I’m tired of being hated. I’m tired of fighting.”
“Don’t you dare stop fighting, Tessalyn. Do you understand me?”
“It’s a constant push and pull,” she continued as though he hadn’t spoken. “My magic wants, and I desire. Power calls and fury beckons. A sea of freedom and a whirlwind of chains. How can it be all and nothing? How can I feel like I’m flying and falling all at the same time? I think maybe balance is as much of an illusion as hope in the end. I think?—”
But she was cut off when large hands took her face, and those lips she’d lost herself in more than once took something she was finally willing to give. His mouth moved against hers deeply and thoroughly. She couldn’t breathe, but she didn’t care. She never wanted to come up for air. She could drown here, in this place. A piece of her soul still thrashed, but here, she was almost whole.
If only her dreams weren’t fleeting.
He pulled back, and she whimpered. At some point, her hands had left her dress, instead fisting into the fabric of his shirt. She held on, keeping him near, and he kept her face in his hands as his eyes searched hers.
“I’m yours,” he said, his voice husky with a need and desperation she understood all too well. “Every piece of me. And I will always come for you.”
“In another life,” she whispered, letting her light flow with the faint dark mist swirling around him in the same way the dark waters merged with the River of Endings.
“In every life, little storm.”
Her smile was sad. “Still such pretty words, even as a phantom.”
“Tessa—”
But he didn’t get to finish as she pressed her lips to his once more, letting herself drown in memories.
Her eyes fluttered open, and she reached up to brush hair from her face, only for her fingertips to find tears on her cheeks. For so long, she’d fought sleep, but here, she chased it. She used to use sleep as an escape. Maybe this wasn’t so different. Her dreams were nightmares that would haunt her, but she found herself craving them as of late. It was all she had left now.
All she would ever have.
And while she’d made peace with that, it wouldn’t stop her from seeking them out in her dreams, even with the risk of those visions being unfavorable. It was the only way she could know. The only way she could protect them now.
She sat up in the bed with a wince. It was a far cry from the beds she’d been sleeping on with Theon, in Faven, with Luka. It was smaller too. A single bed, she realized.
It took her a minute to remember everything that had happened. How she’d used her magic to keep Luka lulled to sleep, her power soothing his as light and dark coiled around her and gently extracted her from his hold. How she’d Traveled outside, having been practicing that skill as much as the others. Once she’d done it a few times, it hadn’t been hard to figure out what triggered it and how to control it. With Roan and Nylah at her sides, she’d climbed down the mountainside in the still darkmorning until she felt Luka’s wards slip over her skin, stopping on the other side and far enough from the cave that it wouldn’t be seen. Then she’d crouched down to speak to her wolves, telling them her plan. The only ones who knew. Perhaps the only ones who cared. Asking them to deliver a message for her when she was gone.
Then she’d sent a note to Dexter with her magic.
The only light was of her own making while she’d waited for him. It took longer than she’d anticipated, but he came in the end, with all pretenses dropped, just as she’d requested. His off-white wings had been on full display, and he’d Traveled in himself, dark eyes narrowing when they fell on her.
“More games, Tessie?” he’d drawled, scanning the surroundings. “Where are your pets?”
