Page 14 of Love on the Brain
Ryan turned, and sure enough, the entire family was with her. His ex-wife, Sonoma, known as Sunny; Shasta, with her new husband, Barclay; and the youngest, Sierra, with their father, Karl. Each held a dish of food, except for Karl, whose arms were wrapped around an insulated bag that no doubt held Landry’s county-famous meatballs.
He’d forgotten they always came to the Super Bowl event and brought several of their church’s families as well. Karl was pastor of a church on the other side of Austin and was a seminary buddy of Ryan’s father’s. Ryan and his younger brother Wesley had grown up with the Sheridan girls. Wesley had been smart not to date any of them, Ryan thought, despite their parents’ efforts.
“Noah, let’s go find Mimi and Poppy,” Jane said, reaching her arms up.
Ryan bent down and lifted Noah off his shoulders and guided him to Jane’s arms, mouthingdon’t leave me.
She shrugged and mouthed backsorry.
Ryan sighed and stood up to greet the Sheridans and point them in the direction of the tables waiting for their food. Sunny hung back until her family was out of earshot and handed him her aluminum-covered pan.
“Reese’s Pieces brownies. Thought you might want first dibs.”
“Thanks,” Ryan said, genuinely surprised. They hadn’t spoken much in the past year, since their divorce had been finalized.
“You and Jane and Noah looked cozy there,” she said. “Are you dating her now?”
“Am I—what?” He nearly dropped the brownies. “No. For God’s goodness’s, Sunny. I’m his godfather. And I’m doing a biopsy on his brain tumor tomorrow.”
“Right.” She had the decency to look chagrined. “Our entire church community is praying for y’all.” Her eyes darted from him to Jane and Noah with her in-laws and back to Ryan. “My mistake. The way you look at her, though… You never looked at me that way. Don’t answer that. I really don’t want to know.”
Ryan watched her go, dumbfounded. The way he looked at Jane? What did she mean by that?
CHAPTER5
Jane lay in bed for a while after her alarm went off Monday morning to mentally prepare herself for Noah’s second biopsy. Ryan had never let her down, ever, and she was confident he’d get enough of a sample for the lab to determine if the tumor was cancerous or not.
A light knock on the door pulled Jane out of her thoughts. “I’m up!” she called with a false cheerfulness.
Connie poked her head in. “No need to jump out of bed.” She smiled. “I heard Noah moving around, so I went to get him up. But he doesn’t want to get out of bed till he watches the video.” She swiped at her eyes, and her jaw trembled. “He said it’s on your phone?”
Jane nodded and unplugged her phone from the charger in the nightstand. She scrolled through her gallery until she found the album titled “Casey’s Messages.” She tapped “Noah—Morning” and handed the phone to Connie.
“Thanks, dear. I admit I’m looking forward to watching my boy say good morning, too.” Connie cradled the phone in her hands. “I’ll get this right back to you.”
Jane nodded, leaning back against the pillows and watching her go. Casey had been an only child, and Connie and Dale had loved him well and raised him to be an amazing man. When there was nothing else the doctors could do for him, he recorded messages and stories for Noah. Jane was grateful to Molly, who had given him the idea. Molly’s father had been killed in combat when she was two, and he’d written her and her mother letters to be read at milestones throughout their lives in the event he didn’t come home. Molly said she always wished they’d had a video camera back then.
Casey recorded over a dozen videos just for Noah, plus messages for Jane, his parents, Ryan, Ryan’s parents, her dad, and Shelby. For Christmas this year, Shelby had typed out all his spoken words for Noah and made it into a children’s book with pictures. Noah kept it in his backpack, and Jane was teaching him to read the words. In just over a month, he’d learned to read most of it, even though he only attended pre-kindergarten twice each week.
Connie returned and handed Jane her phone. The door clicked, and Jane pulled up her good morning video.
Casey’s tired but cheerful smile filled her screen. “Good morning, beautiful. I hope you slept well and stayed warm enough. I wish I was there to lend my legs to heat up your toes and my chest to rest your head on. I pray that when you close your eyes, you feel my arms wrapped around you.”
Jane paused the video to take a deep breath. Her eyes stung with unshed tears, and the familiar lump in her throat began to form. When would she be able to watch these without crying?
But then … if she didn’t cry, would that mean she didn’t miss him anymore?
Tapping play, she closed her eyes and pretended her pillows were Casey’s angel wings enveloping her. She whispered the remainder of Casey’s words as he spoke them. “I hope you have a wonderful day, my sweet Jane. Look for the good in the hard things, take a deep breath when your emotions get big, and think of me when you see a bear, hopefully a teddy and not a grizzly. I’ve loved you from the day I met you, and I will love you forever.”
She loved that line, “hopefully a teddy and not a grizzly.” Casey, like Ryan, had played college baseball, and his team’s mascot was a bear. She’d called him her “Baylor Bear” when they first started dating as a term of endearment.
Rolling over into the pillows, Jane allowed herself a good, long cry and thanked God for the years she had with Casey and for providing Ryan with the skills to save their boy.
* * *
Ryan had employedevery trick he knew the night before but still struggled to fall asleep. It was a good thing Noah’s surgery was in the afternoon. He’d finally dozed off sometime after 2a.m. and was able to get in a solid seven hours before his alarm went off at nine.
He’d originally had the day off due to his commitment to run the Super Bowl party, but there had been no hesitation to put in the extra hours necessary for Noah. He loved that little boy. Noah reminded him so much of Casey at that age. He even looked like him.
