Page 106 of Brew
“I know how this looks, but I promise you. Once Ridgely is ten feet under, I’m done, do you hear me?” He cups my face as I blink the tears that fall like a runaway train. “I love you. I want to be with you, start a family and a new life with you and Olive. I don’t want to live like this anymore.”
“I want to believe you,” I whisper. “And I know I’m being incredibly selfish, but if you still love her, that’s okay?—”
“I’m not in love with her,” he says. “I wasn’t in love with her for a long time after she left. I moved on. But the sense of loyalty I felt to her and her family runs so much deeper than we ever were romantically. I had to fight for justice because she couldn’t. It’s who I am. I’m sorry if I’ve made it seem like this is all about me and her, but I promise you it’s not. It’s really fuckin’ not.”
He stares at me, his eyes pleading, and I nod.
“I believe you.”
“This is so close to bein’ over. Then I can fully commit myself to you. I want you, Erica. This is the life I should’ve had a long time ago, and, fuck it, I’m reachin’ for it with both hands.”
I don’t flinch when he crashes his lips to mine. I need the contact. And I need to know that he’s mine, that he will always be mine, no matter what.
“I love you,” I whisper. “I just love you so damn much.”
“I love you, too. Don’t even think for one second I don’t.”
Comfort washes over me at his words. I needed to hear them, and I can’t hate myself for that. I needed to get all of that off my chest.
And just like that, Brew is back.
CHAPTER
THIRTY-SIX
Brew
I pull Erica against my body as she sleeps, unable to stop touching her. I inhale the sweet scent of her hair and relish in the softness of her skin. I’ve never seen Erica mad before, and at first I wasn’t sure how to handle it.
Sure, I’ve made women mad before, but usually it entailed them storming off cursing, not me feeling bad about what I’d done — or didn’t do.
I’ve never seen fear from another woman like I did in Erica’s eyes tonight. I didn’t want to show her the wound because she’d only worry more. The bullet didn’t hit anything major, that’s the main thing, and really it was more like a scratch. I wasn’t meant to die today.
I meant what I said about moving on and starting a new life. I’ve never felt anything stronger. I also know how it must’ve looked; me coming home with blood all over me and a gunshot wound.
As I breathe her in, I realize I don’t like making her mad, even if she’s as cute as a button when she’s yelling at me. I’ve never let a woman yell at me. It’s never gotten to that pointbecause I was already out the door, halfway across town on my Harley before any conflict with women arose. I kept things simple and neat, just the way I liked it. With Erica, things are different.
I wanted to come home because this is where I belong; maybe not here in this apartment because it won’t be big enough for all of us, but the cabin could suffice. It has more bedrooms, and the kitchen is much bigger, plus it has a garden that we could expand on. I’ve always wanted to get a goat, a pig and some ducks.
Fuck, man, when did I become such a sap?
I close my eyes as my future flashes before my eyes. Erica has her own problems going on with Steven, and I get how stressful that is for her. Especially if that maniac walks free. For his sakes, they better keep that asshole locked up, but these days, you get a slap on the wrist and let out on technicalities all the time. It’s a fucking joke how the justice system works.
I need to leave tomorrow at first light. Once Ridgley hears about Evans, he’ll likely go into hiding. But that’s exactly where I want him to go because now I know where to find him. Evans squealed like a little girl. Pathetic really, but I got what I needed out of him. I could’ve taken off there and then, settled this once and for all, but I get some sick pleasure in making Ridgely feel like he’s gotten away with it. The news headlines will give the bust away, of course, the media is already blowing up like a storm, but that sneaky bastard will think he’s cleverer than anyone else, and that’s where I need him to be.
For now? I’m going to enjoy the last few precious moments of being with my girl because I’ll be gone the moment the sun comes up.
Erica
I feel his hands at my waist, and I lean back farther into his warm body. This is what I needed; Brew safe in my arms, at least for a few more hours. I know he has to go again. I get that he will be settling business, which I hope and pray won’t keep him away too long. Heck, I’ve been praying all night for him and his club brothers. That they’ll all come back safe and sound, because the Nomads and the Rebels will have his back.
I believed him when he said this would be over. I didn’t mean to be so harsh, and I never wanted to appear selfish or needy, but I didn’t know where we stood. I needed to hear that this vendetta was coming to an end. We all need closure, every one of us, and this is Brew’s. He killed a man tonight, and I still want him. It doesn’t change how I feel about him. It changes nothing. In my heart of hearts, I understand more than he’ll ever know.
As I close my eyes I press my hands over his, our fingers interlacing. I feel his hardness against my lower back, and I want it. I want to be as close to him as I can be.
I murmur, letting him know I’m awake, and it’s okay.
In his arms is the only place I want to be.
