Page 105 of Brew
“That’s not what I meant.”
I lean against the basin, trying to keep my cool. I love this man. I don’t want to drive him away, but the fear that ran through me when Amber called, it brought back memories. Memories I never want to be repeated.
I hug myself. “I was just so shocked when Amber called. I-I panicked.”
“I know you did, and that’s why I love you,” he says. “I swear to god this looks and sounds bad, but it was only a graze.”
I frown. “The bullet skimmed you?”
“Well, no, it penetrated.”
I gape at him. “It penetrated?”
“Casey removed the bullet.”
I grip the edge of the sink. “They let you leave the hospital and drive home?”
“Not exactly.”
This man is actually insane. I’m in love with a crazy person.
“You just left?”
He shrugs like it’s no big deal. “Yeah, I discharged myself.”
“Dylan!”
His eyes lock on mine again. “Uh, oh, now I know I’m in trouble.”
“This isn’t funny.”
“Don’t see me laughin’. Babe, I’m gonna kill Ridgley, then this will all be over.”
I hug myself. “I know.” I don’t mean to sound disbelieving, but there will always be someone out there to go after when it comes to Valencia. In my gut, I know it, and in my heart.
“But?”
I glance up. “Huh?”
“You know what I mean? You think I wanna keep livin’ like this for the rest of my life?”
“You don’t have to live like this,” I remind him.
“I do until they’re all dead, I told you I promised Valencia’s parents.”
“So when does that sentence end?” I snap. “What if there are another ten men out there involved? This may never end, and I know I sound selfish, and I don’t mean to, but… it just feels like there will always be some part of Valencia that you have to protect. To keep her memory alive.”
“No.”
“It’s okay, I get it, I really do, she meant a lot to you.”
“She did. I loved her, but that’s in the past. She broke it off because she didn’t want what I wanted. This thing? This vendetta — it’s for her family, Erica. You weren’t there when her parents were inconsolable at the funeral… a funeral that wasn’t complete because there were no remains… not until later…”
My hands fly to my mouth. “That’s… that’s awful.” My gut churns. I don’t want to put him through the ringer. He’s already been through hell. But will this thing with getting all the bad guys ever end? What if we had a baby, what then? Would he be taking off all the time to fight the bad guys? Again, guilt wraps around me like a blanket because I know he does what he does for the greater good. I know it, and yet I feel like he’s slipping away.
“Erica, look at me.”
I didn’t realize I was staring at the shower floor, trembling. My eyes slowly move to his as he shuts off the water. Wrapping a towel around his waist as he steps out, I continue to stare at him.
