Page 14 of Wylder Ranch
Patience. Patience. I just need to have patience. It’s become my new favorite word, because unless I remind myself every five minutes, I will lose my shit.
And when I lose my shit, Everly loses her shit. It becomes a perpetual cycle of tears until both our nerves are shot.
“Come on, Everly. Get it up,” I whisper through a deep breath.
Nothing happens until I stand, the momentum jostling her enough that I hear a loud burp followed by the sensation of warm regurgitated milk dripping down my neck.
Great. Just great.
The plus side is that the screaming stopped.
Clementine stands there, eyes cartoon wide. And thisisn’t the time to acknowledge how beautiful she is, but she is, and I irrationally hate her for it. I used to look like that. I used to be cute. And now I’m a barely functioning twenty-five-year-old with dark rings under her eyes, who’s learned the hard way the pregnancy glow is a myth.
We’re standing here, this beautiful girl and me, whose life has done a complete one-eighty. This was supposed to be my year of fun, after busting my ass to save my parents’ ranch. I was not supposed to get pregnant.
I can’t take any more of Clementine’s pitying stare. I want to be alone.
Then I realize one boob is still hanging out, so all in all, today has just been another sucky day in a whole year of sucky days.
Willing myself not to crumble, I force back my shoulders so my spine straightens.
“I really need to go change and settle her down,” I say eventually, pulling my coat closed.
I’ll carry Everly to the bed and breakfast, finish feeding her, and hopefully get her to sleep for long enough that I can change into something clean. Maybe take a shower if I’m lucky.
Then we’ll wash, rinse, repeat. My days are all the same. I’m a slave to this tiny human.
“I can help,” Clementine blurts out when I turn away, making me pause.
“Help with what?”
She narrows the gap between us again, standing in front of me so I have to move around her. “Anything. But let’s get you clean first.”
“I’m fine. I need to finish feeding her.”
“You can do that too.”
I don’t get the chance to reply before Clemmie practically drags me away and pulls me down the narrow road in the opposite direction Alex went until we reach a gate.
She pushes it open, gesturing me inside where I find a picture-perfect little house with a straw roof, and a somewhat tidy front yard, lined with rose bushes neatly trimmed for the winter, ready for blooming again in the spring. It feels exactly the sort of house you’d find on the front of a tourist postcard with text over the top that readsGreetings from England.
Rainboots are kicked haphazardly along the porch, and hanging from a statue of a small stone dog next to the front door is a horse’s bridle, and a couple of carved Halloween pumpkins.
It’s cute and cozy, and of course she’d have pumpkins. I didn’t do pumpkins this year because I didn’t have the energy.
The whole vibe is perfect and makes me feel like shit. Especially with my child objecting loudly at whatever the fuck she’s objecting at.
“Come on, you can feed her in here. I’ll make us a cup of tea.”
Seeing as she walks straight in without knocking, I assume this is her place. However, when I follow her down the hallway into the kitchen, I change my mind. Horse and polo magazines are piled up in the corner, shelves adorned with rosettes and framed photos of Miles accepting trophies, and the polo sticks leaning against the wall mean this place can only belong to one person.
“Sit. Sit,” she says, gesturing to a chair.
I do as I’m told, and while Clementine busies herself making tea, I attempt to feed Everly again—this time withsuccess.
Leaning back in the chair, I take in the place. It’s both immaculately clean and messy. The surfaces are covered with anything and everything horse-related, but there’s not a speck of dust in sight. Like Mary Poppins came here but gave up halfway through the day.
“Miles isn’t the tidiest person on the planet, in case you hadn’t noticed.” Clemmie sets down two steaming cups on the table, followed by a plate filled with chocolate chip cookies, then pulls out the chair opposite me.
