Page 63 of Diluted Truths
“Yes, of course.”
“Then I am just as bad as Will is.”
Nowthatshut Fai right up.
He stared at me for a moment, as if trying to process what I had just revealed. He knew my childhood was bad, at least bad enough to make me leave at only fourteen, but he didn’t know the details. But he was about to.
“By your logic, Fai, since I was beaten by my father and emotionally abused by my mother I too am an abuser, right?” I asked, angry with my friend for his close-minded thoughts.
“Jackie, I-I didn’t know,“ he began, but I quickly interrupted.
“So what if you didn’t know? My life, my experiences shouldn’t change how you feel about that, right?” I asked, not expecting an answer. “Those thoughts you have, Fai, are wrong, and fucked up. Plus, at the end of the day you don’t get to make my decisions or my choices. I do, and I choose Will. Now you need to leave. We can discuss this more when you have calmed down.”
“Jackie, I’m sorry,” Fai pleaded.
I stood and opened my front door, signaling I was serious. “Fai, I love you. I do. You’re my family, but this,” I motion towards him, “is not acceptable. Like I said, we’ll talk later.”
He looked at me for a moment, almost as if to decide if I was going to change my mind. He must have seen that I wasn’t and left my apartment without a word. I closed the door behind me, knowing I needed to make a call.
The phone rang for a moment, and just when I didn’t think anyone would pick up I heard Sarah’s voice. “Hello?”
“Hey Sarah, it’s Jackie. Just a heads up, I think you have a moody Fai headed your way.”
I heard her sigh, “Thank god he was with you. Thank you for letting me know.” She paused for a moment. “Are you okay?”
I chuckled dryly. “I may have just ruined my most important friendship for a guy who may not feel the same way I do.”
“Go to him. Go to William, he needs to hear that,” she responded excitedly.
“What?” I asked, confused.
“Nope, not telling you. I have interjected myself in other people's business too many times today. Just go to William’s house. He needs to hear that.”
Confused, I agreed with her and said my farewell. I may have started this day scared, tired and confused. But right now I just felt excited. I was taking a jump into the unknown, I was going to tell Will how I felt about him. How I was falling for him. How I wanted him.
Chapter 19Tattoo by. Loreen
Will
Is it possible to lose something before you have it? I guess I was about to find out. After Fai’s dramatic exit, I made sure Sarah was okay and headed home. I couldn’t be there knowing that he was going to take any chance with Jackie I had away from me. It was too painful. I knew he needed to know, I knew it was inevitable. Jackie loved her people hard and Fai was one of her people, not me.
I sighed as I sat on my front porch and watched the rain. Even the weather felt like I did. It had begun pouring on my drive home and it was fitting. I hadn’t even gone inside yet. It was easier to ignore reality here.
Just as I was getting ready to head inside I heard a car head down my driveway, which was odd. No one visited me here but Sarah and I knew she would be going after Fai, not me. I truly couldn't comprehend how he pulled her. She deserved better than him, at least the version of himself he was tonight.
My thoughts were interrupted by a jeep pulling up in front of my house. Not any jeep, but Jackie’s. The sun had already gone down, so I doubted she could see me but from the light of her car I could see her. Damn, she was beautiful. I watched as she jumped out of her car and stopped just a few feet from it.
She seemed distracted. It looked like she was talking to herself. She seemed nervous, maybe even scared. Fuck, I knew what this was. She was here to let me down gently. She would do that. She was so thoughtful and kind.
I groaned, knowing that this beautiful woman was about to rip my heart straight out of my chest. Damn her. I stood and made my way into the rain hoping to end this quickly.
“Jackie!” I yelled, startling her.
She turned to face me. She was drenched from head to toe from the rain and I knew I was looking about the same.
“I didn't know you were out here!” she yelled over the rain.
“I was on my porch,” I responded as I got closer to her. I was freezing in only a short sleeve but knew I needed to get this over with and didn’t want to drag this out by going inside. “You don’t need to do this, I understand.”
