Page 72 of Puck You
“Oh, me too.I can’t un-hear Sebastian calling you ‘good girl.’”
Caroline let out a shriek of laughter.They werenevergoing to let me live this down.
“I never would have guessed you’d be shy talking about sex,” Caroline said.“How was it?If you had to compare to past guys, what would you rate it out of ten?”
I wassonot cut out for this conversation, and I’d already pushed myself past my normal limits of sharing by tenfold.Nonetheless, I knew how relentless Caroline could be.“There’s only one past guy,” I admitted, and her mouth fell open as she glanced at Lydia like I’d just shared the juiciest piece of gossip.
“Just Matt?”she asked with an incredulous stare.
I nodded.
“Is he also a hockey-playing enemies-to-lovers type?”
Exasperated, I looked to Lydia for help.At times, she was the only one with the power to talk sense into Caroline, and right now, I was desperate for a reprieve.Her brow quirked in amusement, as if to say,This is your own fault.
I glanced back at Caroline and let out a long sigh.“He’s a hockey player, yes.But we were friends before we started seeing each other.”If I were honest, the only thing that Sebastian and Matt had in common was their love for hockey.Outside of that, they were pretty much opposite.
“Are you and Sebastian dating?”
Ugh.Was this ever going to end?
“We’re just sleeping together, it’s nothing serious,” I said, then quickly added, “I can’t handle more than that at the moment.”
“Okay, so how was the sex?Did he make you—”
“Please stop, this is going to make my brain explode,” I pleaded.
Lydia finally came to my rescue, shooting Caroline a warning look.The blond simply shrugged and asked, “Why are you so scared to talk about him?Or anything related to your feelings, for that matter?”
“Are you my therapist now?”I bit back, my temper rising.
“She would be a terrible therapist, she has no boundaries,” Lydia quipped.
“You’re a psychology major, Grace.”Caroline laughed.“You literally study the mind.Keeping things in is—”
“Bad, I know,” I cut in.“My mom, who is severely bipolar, went into a manic episode and ended up accosting someone at the grocery store when I was a kid.None of the girls at school wanted to hang out with me after that.Their moms didn’t want them around someone with an unstable parent.And then, two weeks after being released from her in-patient hospital treatment, she decided that being a mother wasn’t her thing.So yes, I have a hard time trusting people.That’s a potential side effect of being abandoned.”
The resulting silence spoke volumes.Caroline’s bright eyes were wide as saucers.After several long moments of solid discomfort, Lydia leapt to her feet and pulled me into a crushing hug.“Did that feel good to get off your chest?”she asked as she pulled away, looking over me like a proud parent picking up her kid after their first day of kindergarten.
“I think so,” I said, feeling like a tiny weight had been lifted off my shoulders.“If nothing else, it was worth it to see Caroline’s face.”
“Maybe this is a good moment to admit that I can be a little overbearing at times,” Caroline confessed, stepping in front of Lydia and wrapping her arms around me.“I’m sorry for pushing.”
“It’s okay.I needed the shove.”
“You can always be honest with us, Grace,” Lydia said.She wrapped her fingers around my hand and gave it a little squeeze.“You risked your future at school to fight for our team, and for that, we’d never betray you.Know that we’re here to talk if you ever need to.And we won’t tell anyone about you and Sebastian.You don’t always have to keep everything to yourself.”
I was finally starting to believe it.
>> <<
January was a frenzied blur of sleepless nights, endless study sessions, and overwhelming success on the ice.With Sebastian taking up so much of my evenings, I had little time to stress about how things were going at home.Even so, some days I found myself idly scrolling through my messages with Gabby, trying to work up the courage to reach out.Her silence was louder than any screaming match or disagreement we’d had in the past.But each time I felt tempted to reach out, I remembered what Sam had said about putting myself first.Right now, I needed to trust my dad to take care of Gabs.
In the moments that Sebastian and I spent together, everything else in the world was ambient noise.I didn’t need my wireless headphones to keep from overthinking.Sebastian was the ultimate distraction.In the haze of our lust, we took ample time discovering every last inch of one another.It was proving difficult to remain productive when we were alone.He couldn’t keephis hands to himself, and I was only so strong.It felt impossible to resist him when his every touch sent sparks along my skin.
“I need to finish this,” I said to Sebastian, glaring down at the hand that was stroking my thigh.It had become routine to spend our Sunday evenings tucked away in his tidy room, catching up on school work whileParks and Recreationplayed on a loop as background noise.His bed was more than twice the size of mine, which meant we could both fit comfortably with our books spread out across the mattress.But studying in bed wasn’t always the most productive activity for us, not when there were other things we’d both rather be doing.Tonight, Sebastian seemed determined to halt all progress on my essay.Every few minutes, his fingers would inch further up my leg, and I’d have to spend the next few minutes re-reading what I wrote in an effort to refocus.At this point, I was completely worked up, my underwear drenched from his teasing.My body was hyperaware of Sebastian’s warmth as he shifted beside me, his leg pressing against my own.
“Then finish,” he said in a smug tone.“No one is stopping you.”
