Page 131 of Unspoken Words
“I’m thinking I need to head back to Darwin and mull over some things.”
I reached for his hand and he didn’t respond, his fingers limp on his lap. It broke my heart.
“I think that’s a good start.”
His eyebrow rose. “Start?”
I shrugged. “I guess.”
Byron finally covered my fingers with his. “Maybe these next few weeks apart will be good for us.”
I nodded. “Yeah, maybe.”
But I wasn’t convinced.
*
The following morning,Byron leftfor Darwin, and when we kissed goodbye at the departure gate, our lips spoke an entirely different story than when he’d arrived. I wasn’t sure of their plot, but I knew the ending wasn’t a happily ever after for the two of us, at least not together.
I’d gone straight home from the airport and cried in my room. My life was complete disarray. Unsettled. Unsure. To those outside looking in, my life probably resembled a pot of gold: great boyfriend, great job, happy and healthy. But on the inside, where only I was the spectator, was the aftermath of a category ten tornado, scattered pieces of my head and heart strewn all over the place. I was torn between a man who loved and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, and a man who I loved like no other. One made me feel safe and content, and the other set every part of me alight without even trying—my kindred spirit, my soul mate—but a man I could never be with in the way I wanted to, in the way we both deserved.
Byron Grayson flowed around my mind and settled peacefully in the corner while Connor Bourke flowed through my veins and was the air I breathed, every part of him felt in every part of me. Always there but out of reach even though I wasn’t reaching far enough.
I knew what I had to do though. Byron and I needed time apart to wade through the intricacies that was our fragile relationship, and I also needed to focus on completing Connor’s album. That was my priority. Everything else would have to wait.
“Ellie, dinner is ready,” Mum called out from the kitchen.
I wiped my eyes, splashed water on my face, and left my room, ready for my family’s warranted questions.
“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” Mum asked as I entered the kitchen, the smell of onions and potatoes teasing my hungry stomach. She rested her hand on my head and scanned my face with worrisome eyes.
“I’ve been better.”
Chris squatted in front of me and screwed up his face. “You’ve looked better too.”
Mum whacked his arm with her tea towel as she walked back behind the breakfast bar to finish pouring gravy on our meals.
“I didn’t mean it like that.” Chris opened the fridge and put back the jug of water. “I just meant she looks like shit.”
“CHRIS!” Mum whacked him again.
“Don’t listen to your brother, Ellie.” Dad handed me my dinner plate then rested his hand on my shoulder and squeezed gently as we walked to the dining room.
“He’s right, though, I do look like shit, and I deserve to. I broke Byron’s heart last night.”
We sat down around the table, and Mum passed the salt and pepper. “What happened?”
“He proposed and I said no.”
She shot Dad an I-told-you-so look. “Then what happened?”
“We talked a bit then came back here. You guys had left to pick up Chris, so we just stayed in my room and watched TV until we fell asleep, me in my bed, Byron on the floor.”
Chris set a glass of water in front of me. “You did the right thing, Elliephant. You don’t love him.”
“But I do.”
“Of course you do, dear.”
