Page 130 of Unspoken Words
“Shit.” He jogged after me. “I’m sorry, Elle, I didn’t know.”
“I know that, but please, can we go and talk somewhere else. I really don’t want to be here any longer.”
He reached out and tentatively touched my arm. “Of course. Let’s go.”
We both climbed back into the car, and Byron pulled out of the car park. “Maybe you should suggest where we can go.”
“At the bottom of the hill, turn left. There’s a park there.”
“Okay.”
Neither of us uttered a single word as Byron drove to the park and cut the engine, and as I stared out of the windscreen, dusk turning the sky an array of peaches and purples while families played on the playground or threw balls and sticks to happy, bounding dogs, I felt unbearably awful. His proposal had been an express train I hadn’t seen coming, and I’d stepped right out in front of it and was knocked clean off my feet.
“Do you want to get out?” he asked, sucking in a deep breath.
“Um …” I glanced down at my dress and then met his eyes. “No. We’d stand out like sore thumbs.”
He nodded and rested his elbow on the door trim, his chin on his knuckles, his eyes dead ahead.
He looked utterly defeated.
Guilt tugged at my chest. This man, this lovely man, had just asked me to marry him, to spend the rest of our lives together, and I’d said no. I’d turned what was supposed to be one of the most memorable days of his life into an unexpected explosion, rejection in its purest form, and I wanted to curl up and die.
“Byron, I’m so sorry. I really am. I didn’t mean to—” My words cut short when my eyes settled on a little boy with midnight hair, sliding down the slide, a plaster cast on his arm.Is that Max?I squinted.Yes, it has to be.
Scanning the park for Connor, I found him and Lilah both sitting under a tree, eating pizza, just as she leaned closer, touched his face, and kissed him.
I choked and coughed until I was gasping for air.
“Are you okay?” Byron reached out and patted my back.
“Yes, I just need my asthma pump.” I fished it out of my clutch and sucked in two puffs, taking deep breaths until I could once again breathe. “Sorry. I’m such a mess tonight,” I said, bursting into tears.
“It’s okay, Elle. This is all my fault. I should’ve listened to your dad when he said he didn’t think you were ready.”
“YOU ASKED MY DAD FOR PERMISSION?”
“Of course I did.”
Byron’s expression was genuine. Pure. Slightly holier-than-thou.
“Oh my God!”
Covering my face with my hand, I peeked through my fingers, laughing. And crying. I was a looney, a crazy, messed up bag of cuckoo.
“Elle, I can’t tell if you’re laughing or crying?”
“Neither can I. But now I know why my parents were acting weird.”
Byron didn’t laugh. He just sat quietly and gazed out the window, possibly welcoming the silence that settled between us, a new type of silence full of whats and what nows.
As I was about to ask what he was thinking, I searched for Connor again. He and Lilah were now standing up, facing each other, and whatever they were talking about looked serious, especially when he placed his hand over his heart and then pointed to her.
My chest tightened, and I wondered if perhaps Lilah had been telling the truth, that they really were happy. But then Connor was adamant they weren’t together, and I believed him. And then there was Max: a living, breathing, innocent, little thread that wouldalwaystie them together.
It was all too confusing and complicated. And if I understood one thing and one thing only, it was that I didn’t want that confusion and complication in my life. I didn’t want to have a family with a man I didn’t love whole-heartedly, no matter how real it looked to everyone else. I didn’t want to live a grander lie than what I was already living. I’d tried that and somewhat lost myself in the process.
“What are you thinking?” I asked.
