“That boy deserves a blow job,” Patsy said before she stepped forward, switched on her microphone, and shouted, “How about that, ladies? Are you all hot for the teeeeeacher?”
Facepalming at her Patsyness, I decided I agreed. He did deserve a blow job, and he sure as hell was going to get one.
* * *
Brad,Josh, and Cori flew backto Melbourne for the four-day break, and the rest of the crew just chilled and recharged their batteries. It was nice to step out of the hustle and bustle because, although it didn’t seem like it at times, the constant travelling and living out of a suitcase was extremely tiring. So it was for that reason that Lucas and I spent most of the break in bed in my hotel suite, which was technically his suite as well because he no longer roomed with Noah. We talked, ate, had sex, bathed, repeat. And in those four uninterrupted days, I felt we’d gotten to know each other more than I’d ever known another person in my life.
He was a sucker for baby animals — who wasn’t?
He snored — apparently, so did I.
He had Viking in his blood — explained the misty eye colour.
And he would eat molluscs every day if he could — I certainly wouldn’t.
I also found out that he wasn’t interested in having children, which I was struggling to believe, and it was tearing me apart.
“Why are you being difficult about this?” Lucas stood to my right, arms crossed over his chest, his body facing me as I unhooked a dress from a coat hanger in the hotel closet.
“Because you’re young. Surely you don’t know exactly what you want in life yet.”
“I know I want you.”
I folded the dress, turned toward the bed, and laid it in my suitcase. “I’m not disputing that, Lucas. I’m disputing that one day, despite what you say now, you will wake up and decide you want to be a father, and then what?”
“So you’re saying you know what I’ll want but that I won’t.”
I scoffed and turned back toward the closet. “Now who’s being difficult?”
“I’m just trying to make sense of your nonsense.”
“My nonsense?” I stared at him, gobsmacked.
“Yeah. What you’re saying is only intelligible to you because it’s what youwantto believe because you’re scared.”
I shook my head, my eyelids blinking faster than the wings on a fly. “WHAT?”
“You heard me.”
“You think I’m sabotaging us because you’re young and might want kids one day?”
He picked at his nails, smug-like. “Yeah, pretty much.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“What’s ridiculous is you pulling away when we’ve just had the best few days together.”
My chest clenched and tears burned my eyes. He was right, we’d just had the best few days together and it terrified me. It terrified me that if I completely opened my heart and let him in, something that we could not control would tear us apart. Something like children.
Ignoring him, I walked into the bathroom.
He followed and leaned against the doorframe. “Helena, stop packing and talk to me.”
“Now’s not the time. We have shit to do.”
“Why won’t you just let me in?” He pointed to his heart. “In here.”
“Don’t be silly,” I said, avoiding his reflection in the mirror while shoving lipsticks into my makeup bag.