Page 29 of Emma
Vanessa’s chest tightened at the pain in Emma’s voice. Though Emma didn’t believe it could be true, Vanessa still had to ask the question. “You’re one hundred percent sure?”
Emma’s brows drew together. “Well, no. I can’t be one hundred percent sure, but I’m ninety-nine percent sure.” She scoffed and shook her head. “Mum didn’t even want me. She’s not going to have had another kid. No way.”
Vanessa was beginning to realise that the road ahead would be rough. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
“I don’t feel it. I know it,” Emma’s voice cracked. “When was the last time you heard me talk about my parents? Or better yet, when was the last time I saw any of them?Anyof my family?”
Vanessa cast her gaze to the coffee cups on the bedside table, her fingers nervously toying with the fabric of her robe. “Never. Not while we’ve been together and not beforehand.”
“And what does that tell you?” Emma reached for her coffee, lifting a brow as she sat back again and watched Vanessa expectantly.
“That you removed yourself from a situation you didn’t feel comfortable in. That your parents are out of their minds to not seek you out. ThatI’mincredibly lucky to have you in my life, no matter what anyone else thinks.” Vanessa regarded Emma with the smallest of smiles. “Whatever you need to do, you have my full support.”
Emma exhaled a breath, this time allowing her shoulders to relax as she reached out and took Vanessa’s hand. “Maybe I’ll see if Lauren is around in the next few days. She’ll know what to do.” Vanessa mostly agreed with that, but she knew her daughter didn’t always approach things with the patience Emma wouldneed. “Or she’ll give it to me bluntly. I don’t know which I’d prefer, but I’ll probably still speak to her about it.”
“Okay, well, if you want me there with you, you just let me know.”
Emma’s thumb traced slow, soothing circles across Vanessa’s knuckles. “I appreciate that, but you’ve dealt with more than enough over the last year. I’mnotmaking this an issue for us. I’m so done with not knowing what’s coming. I thought all of that was over.”
“Emma…” Vanessa sighed, desperately wishing Emma wouldn’t try to carry this alone. They came as a pair, and no matter what, they faced it together.
“No, babe.” Emma held up a hand. “If my mumdidhave another kid, it only makes me hate her more than I already do. I mean, she didn’t think that piece of information would be something I’d want to know?” Her voice rose, anger laced through her words. “She’s probably hungover to fuck this morning as usual. It’s all she knows. She’s a waste of space.”
Vanessa hated seeing Emma so angry. This wasn’t like her. Not this intense and not with something so personal. Vanessa wanted to reach out and take Emma in her arms, but she knew better than to force it. If Emma needed to let it all out, then so be it. “Baby, please don’t work yourself up.”
“D-do you think it’s true?” Emma’s voice faltered slightly as she gazed back at Vanessa. She was looking for the answers to everything—that was clear from the raw vulnerability in her eyes. “Honestly, do you?”
Vanessa took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly. Emma had asked the question. She could only be honest in return. “I think anything is possible.”
“Fuck.” Emma lowered her coffee to the table and buried her face in her hands. “What the hell am I meant to do if Freyaismy sister?”
“That’s the difficult part that I’m struggling with.” Vanessa couldn’t begin to navigate this. She needed more time to get it all right and in order in her head. But she did know that until they had some definitive answers, Emma’s well-being was the only thing that mattered. “Just because you could potentially be related, it wouldn’t be as simple as just connecting with one another. You said Freya no longer lives with your parents. If she’s been adopted, I’m not sure how her new family will feel about you entering her life.”
“Surely they’d be happy. I mean, what other way is there to feel?” And there it was. The hint of hope in Emma’s voice. The confirmation that shehadimagined a relationship with Freya. “She’s my blood, Vanessa. They can’t just stop me from seeing her.”
Oh dear. This was going to get very messy, very fast.
“I understand what you’re saying, but I need you to prepare yourself for the possibility of no contact. I don’t know how that would work with school, but personal time could well be very different.”
Emma’s breath caught as tears fell down her cheeks. Vanessa swallowed down the lump in her own throat and shifted on the bed until Emma was in her arms. She sobbed into Vanessa’s chest, drawing back a moment later with a trembling bottom lip. “So, I may have found a sister, but I’m probably not going to be entitled to any kind of relationship with her? That seems pretty fucked up.”
“It is, baby. It’s all kinds of fucked up.” Vanessa had no idea how to combat any of this. She sure as hell hoped Lauren could find the right words when Emma came face to face with her. “But we don’t know the truth about anything yet, so don’t let it weigh too heavily on you, okay?”
Emma sighed and sank back against the pillows. She looked exhausted even though she’d only just woken up. “Will we ever have a normal fucking year with one another?”
Vanessa pulled the cover up and over them, holding onto Emma’s trembling body. “Oh, I think so. The year before last was pretty normal, and exciting, and filled with love and laughter.” This was just a small bump in the road. It had to be. “We’ve had so many amazing moments together. That willneverchange. And no matter what’s coming, I’ll always make sure each day brings some kind of happiness.”
“Those are the moments I crave. Believe me.”
Vanessa pressed a gentle kiss to Emma’s hair. “Everything is going to be okay. We’ve been through much worse.”
“You’re right.” Emma hung an arm loosely over Vanessa’s waist. “And we always come out of it on the other side.”
“Okay,two more laps and then it’s time for lunch!” Emma held her whistle close to her lips as she watched her group of students shuffle around the sports field. The scent of freshly cut grass had perked Emma up, but the energy from her students was anything other than lively. “If we don’t pick our feet up, we go again. Come on, you know this!”
Emma’s morning had been unusually quiet, but that was just as well given her restless night. She’d barely had any sleep, she’d one hundred percent over-caffeinated, and her eyelids were heavy…but she pushed through. What other choice did she have? She had a wife depending on her, as well as the students complaining as they reached the far side of the field to tend to.
She spotted Freya laughing with Alice at the front of the running group. Emma wasn’t naïve enough to think she couldavoid the situation forever, but she didn’t want to feel like this. She was the kid’s teacher. The last thing she wanted was to pull away from Freya, but every time she saw her, there was a dreadful tension in the air. If she wasn’t careful, it would be suffocating her before too long.
