Page 74 of Emma
Vanessa reached across the table, her hand settling lightly over Emma’s. “You won’t be.”
Emma’s gaze softened as she looked back at Vanessa. “I want to believe that.”
“Then believe it,” Vanessa said with a slight lift of the shoulder. “Because from whereI’msitting, you’re handling this better than most people would. You’re respecting boundaries, you’re asking permission, and you’re willing to have hard conversations.That’sthe kind of sister Freya needs.”
“You always make it sound so easy, babe. I don’t know how you do it.”
“It’s not easy.” Vanessa squeezed her hand. “But it’s worth it.”
They finished dinner at a slower pace, the conversation drifting to lighter topics. Vanessa’s latest book order, Emma’s plans for the last netball training session of the week, and the dreaded knowledge of the weather turning cold enough to need gloves in the morning. But underneath it all, that thread of hope and fear hummed between them, quiet yet constant.
When they’d cleared the plates and settled on the couch, Emma curled her legs under her and rested her head on Vanessa’s shoulder. The TV flickered silently in the background, some home makeover programme Vanessa had half-watched before, but neither of them was really paying attention.
“It’s so strange, babe,” Emma said suddenly. “I’ve spent all this time not knowing she existed, and now I can’t imagine not wanting to know every single thing about her.”
Vanessa smiled as she stroked her fingers through Emma’s hair. “It sounds like you’re already being a sister.”
Emma tilted her head a little and caught Vanessa’s gaze. “Do you think Carmen will see that?”
“I think she will. Maybe she won’t at first; she’s naturally apprehensive about the child she cares for being thrown into something none of us know how to navigate. But I do think she’ll see it in the way you treat Freya. That’s the part that matters.”
“God, I really hope I don’t cry in front of her.”
Vanessa grinned. “If you do, just blame hay fever. In November.”
Emma rolled her eyes, but belly laughed. “Youalwaysknow how to make me laugh when I don’t want to.”
“That’s a part of the wife package,” Vanessa said, smiling against Emma’s hair. “You can’t send me back now.”
“And risk someone else snapping you up? I wouldn’t dare!”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Vanessa closedher laptop when she heard Emma stirring their cups of tea in the kitchen. She had come into the living room a few moments ago, asking if they could talk, so Vanessa was silently preparing herself for whatever storm was potentially coming. Emma hadn’t seemed distressed in any way, but her wife was good at masking her feelings when she believed it was required of her. She pressed her fingers to her temples, exhaled a long, slow breath, and set her laptop aside.
A moment later, Emma crept in, two steaming mugs in hand. She passed one over before curling herself into the far corner of the couch. She wore one of her oversized hoodies that Vanessa adored, and right now, Vanessa was contemplating stealing it from her.
Vanessa smiled. “Thank you.”
Emma nodded, but her eyes were fixed on the swirling steam rising from her drink.
“You’ve…got that face,” Vanessa said, her eyes narrowed.
“What face?”
“The one you get when you’re about to drop something big and you don’t know if I’m going to like it or not.”
Emma let out a quiet laugh, then sipped her tea. “It’s not bad, I just…I need to ask you something, and I don’t really know how to word it without sounding—” She cut herself off and set her mug down on the table. “How much am I allowed with Freya?”
Vanessa frowned. “Allowed?”
“Yeah.” Emma nodded as she chewed her lip. “I mean, this wasn’t what you signed up for. None of it. We were living our lives, and then all of a sudden, I have a sister. And she’s only twelve, and she’s…mine. Even though she’s not.” Emma took a breath. “So, I’m trying to figure out what that means for us.”
Vanessa sat back, surprised by the direction this had taken. “Emma, where is this coming from?”
“I don’t know.” Emma dragged a hand down her face. “It’s something I’ve been thinking about lately. Maybe it’s because of how fast this has all happened, I don’t know.” Emma looked back at Vanessa and swallowed. “But what I do know is that you married me with zero expectation that there would be a kid involved in the mix. And now I’m talking about emails, and meetings, and maybe one day having her over here often. For dinner, or to spend the night…the weekend.” Emma shook her head and sighed. “I’m scared that if I start pulling her into our life, it’s going to take something away from us.”
Vanessa’s heart ached. Not with anger, but with seeing Emma so tangled up in her own head. “You think having a relationship with your sister is going to damage our marriage?”
