Page 73 of Emma
“Thank you. I appreciate it,” Emma said, meaning every word. “And Carmen…please know that I’m not here to take anything from her or you as a family unit. I see how well looked after and cared for she is. I’d never want her to lose that. I do, however, want her to know she can have all of us in her corner.”
“I understand. Let’s talk more when we meet.”
“Okay. Thanks again. I’ll see you tomorrow at four.”
As the call ended and Emma rested her head back, the weight ofeverythingfelt as though it had just lifted. Carmen hadn’t approached this with Emma as the bad guy in mind, and she had also acknowledged Emma’s own pain at this discovery. To know that people were beginning to understand… It meant the world.
And maybe coffee with Carmen wouldn’t solve everything, but maybe it was a sign of things to come. A connection and a love for the same child.
The dregsof the dinner Emma had made lay abandoned in the pan on the hob, while Vanessa twirled her fork through her spaghetti, leaning back in her chair as she watched her wife across the table. Emma had showered the day from her skin, her damp hair curling a little at the ends. She’d spent the last ten minutes or so studying her, and there was something different in her eyes tonight. Something…more settled. Vanessa couldn’t put her finger on what it was, but Emma seemed brighter as she walked through the door this evening.
“You’re unusually calm for someone who had the year elevens today,” Vanessa said, breaking the silence. She took a sip of her wine and let her gaze linger. “Did you escape unscathed?”
Emma lifted her brows and nodded. “No bruises, no detentions, no threats to drop out and become a social media influencer because I had the audacity to ask them to run around the sports hall. I’d call that a win.”
“Miracles do happen,” Vanessa teased.
Emma swallowed, glanced down at her plate, then back up at Vanessa. “I called Carmen today.”
Vanessa set her fork down slowly. “You did?”
“After work. I sat in the car for a bit, went back and forth about whether it was the right time, but…yeah. I called her.”
Vanessa searched her wife’s face for a moment, the guarded tone in her voice telling her this wasn’t something Emma had done lightly. “And how did it go?”
“Better than I thought it would,” Emma said, though that hint of uncertainty was still there. “I asked if she wanted to meet for a coffee, so we can talk about Freya and what happens next. Just the two of us.”
Vanessa leaned forward and rested her forearms on the table, dinner no longer her concern as she looked deep into Emma’s eyes. “That’s a big step.”
“I know.” Emma toyed with the rim of her wine glass, twisting it slowly between her fingers. “I just don’t want everything to be filtered through Nia. I want Carmen to know I’m not trying to edge her out or make this complicated. If we can get on the same page, even a little bit, then maybe Freya won’t feel like she’s stuck in the middle.”
Vanessa beamed with pride, though she kept her tone gentle. “I think that’s important. It’s also an incredibly mature way to look at all of this.”
“The mature me.” Emma laughed. “God knows I’ve been every other version of myself these last few weeks.”
“What did Carmen say?” Vanessa asked, watching closely.
“She agreed. We’re meeting tomorrow straight from work.” Emma picked up her fork again, turning the pasta over and over in an attempt to distract herself. “She was actually really civil with me. Nice, you know?”
“That’s progress, baby.”
“I hope so.” Emma finally lifted her fork and took a bite, swallowing before she continued. “I also told her I’d like to talk about the possibility of taking Freya out for dinner at somepoint, if she’s up for it. Not now, not until she’s comfortable, but…eventually.”
Vanessa smiled. “You’re already thinking about the memories you can make together.”
Emma shrugged as she cast her gaze to her plate. “She said in her email that she’s never been cool. I don’t know how much of that is about school or her friends, but I want to do something with her that makes her feel like she’s special. That she’s worth the effort, you know.”
“She already is to you,” Vanessa reminded her. “That’ll come through in whatever you do together.”
They ate in silence for a few minutes, only the clink of cutlery filling the gaps. Vanessa could feel the shift in Emma’s mood, the way her mind kept looping back to that email and all it had stirred up. She could feel the anxiety surrounding the meeting with Carmen. Vanessa wanted to delve deeper.
“What are you most nervous about when you think about meeting Carmen?”
Emma leaned back in her chair, wine glass in hand. “That she’ll see me as some kind of threat. Or worse, as someone who’s going to let Freya down.” She took a slow sip. “I hate thinking that she could be bracing for me to disappear. CarmenandFreya.”
Vanessa tilted her head. “Do you think that’s coming from Carmen, or is that coming from you?”
Emma hesitated. “Maybe both. I mean, Carmen’s been there for Freya through a lot of stuff. She probably knows better than anyone how she reacts to disappointment. And me? I’m just terrified of being the reason she ever feels it again.”
