Page 105 of Emma
Emma chewed her lip, ruminating on the idea once again. “Do you really think so?”
“I do.” Vanessa smiled. “Freya loves being here. You’ve seen it yourself. She lights up when she walks through the door. Carmen and Ben have let her come to us again and again. They trust you, they’ve told you as much, and that means something.”
Emma nodded slowly. “She’s become a part of our lives so fast, and I feel like I’m still catching my breath. I don’t want to do anything to risk losing her again.”
Vanessa’s grip tightened. “You won’t. You’re not asking for custody, you’re asking if the people you love and care about can sit around the same table on Christmas Day. That’s all. And if Carmen and Ben say no, we still haveeverythingwe’ve had these last few weeks. You can’t lose what you’ve already built with her. It’s just not possible.”
Emma blinked back tears. “She called me sis when we were at the arcade. I forgot to tell you.”
Vanessa’s own eyes shone with unshed tears. “Did she really?”
“She dropped her pot of coins everywhere, so I helped her scoop them up, and she just laughed and said, ‘Thanks, sis.’ Like it was the most natural thing in the world.” Emma smiled as a tear slid down her cheek. “It was two little words, but it felt like…everything.”
Vanessa tugged Emma into a strong embrace. “Oh, baby. That’s because itiseverything.”
Emma pressed her face into Vanessa’s shoulder, her voice muffled as she said, “I don’t deserve her.”
“Yes, you do, and she deserves you. Which is why I think you should ask. Give them the choice. Freya deserves to know you want her here, not just when it’s convenient, but when it matters the most.”
Relaxing into Vanessa, Emma exhaled a long, slow breath. “Okay, I’ll ask.”
“That’s my girl.” Vanessa kissed Emma’s hair and rested her cheek against the top of her head. “And whatever happens, we’ll make it the best Christmas we’ve ever had. Whether it’s with them or without them, thingsaremoving in the right direction. Never forget that.”
“You’re right. We always have a great Christmas, and that’s never going to change.” Emma looked up at Vanessa, one hand splayed against her wife’s chest. “Because I have you, and that’s the most important thing in the world to me.”
“The day I married you, I made a promise to always be there for you.”
Emma sniffled as she gazed into Vanessa’s heavenly blue eyes. “And I made the very same promise to you.”
“And you were. All through the uncertainty and the surgery, the recovery…I never would have survived those days without you.”
“It was an honour to be with you while you recovered, babe.” Emma leaned up and kissed her wife. “And now, for the first time in a long time, life is looking exciting and full of new memories.”
“And I cannot wait to make them with you and your sister.”
Emma snuggled into Vanessa, her cup of tea cold and discarded on the coffee table. “Now, I want to nap on you while you finally read the page you’ve had open for the best part of an hour…and then I’ll make the call.”
“Sounds to me like the perfect night in.”
Emma staredat her phone on the dining table, blowing out a breath as she prepared herself for the call that could change everything all over again. She didn’t feel nervous, not really, but the mere thought of rejection did put a hint of doubt in her mind. But then she looked up and across the kitchen to where Vanessa was loading the dishwasher, humming quietly under her breath, and that doubt slowly slid away again.
Carmen would agree…or she wouldn’t.
“Make the call, baby,” Vanessa said without turning around. “And before you think about it…don’t start pacing.”
Emma groaned at the fact that Vanessa practically had eyes in the back of her head. “I’m not going to pace. I’m just psyching myself up, that’s all.”
“Well, psych a bit quicker. You’re making me feel nervous just listening to you breathe.” Vanessa turned around as she dried her hands on a tea towel, regarding Emma with a look that said, ‘you’re making this harder than it needs to be.’ “You’ll be fine. Just call her.”
Emma took a deep breath and picked up the phone. “I feel like a teenager about to ask someone out.”
“Youareasking someone to dinner, technically,” Vanessa teased. “Just not in the romantic way.”
Emma glared from across the room. “Don’t make me laugh. I need to be serious.”
“You are serious. That’s why you’re considering pacing holes in the floor.”
Emma looked down, noticing her bare feet and how they threatened to move a little more. She’d been shifting from side to side for the last ten minutes, and it hadn’t achieved anything atall. She stopped, puffed out a breath, and tapped Carmen’s name before she could think twice. The phone rang once. Twice. Three times. Emma considered hanging up, until?—
